When Your Wife Does Not Support Your Vision

[sesantek]

What do you do when your wife shows high level indifference towards your God-given vision.

 

[handy]

Being that we're all fallible and prone to mistake, I think the first step would be to discuss with her why she doesn't believe the vision. Listen to her concerns.

However, if it's 100% clear that this path is from God, then follow it. Even if she's unsupportive, the directive was given to you. Pray for her and engage her in the process, but go as God leads.

Christ's bride hasn't always been that supportive of His directives either...

 

[sesantek]

Being that we're all fallible and prone to mistake, I think the first step would be to discuss with her why she doesn't believe the vision. Listen to her concerns.

However, if it's 100% clear that this path is from God, then follow it. Even if she's unsupportive, the directive was given to you. Pray for her and engage her in the process, but go as God leads.

Christ's bride hasn't always been that supportive of His directives either...

Thanks handy for that.

 

[JennyThatcher123]

This comes up more then any of us know, the church should put a small group setting up that just focuses on this and this alone.

we all know the story of Noah. I can't help but wonder what that conversation sounded like. - "You are going to do what again?'

You talk about a path. this is spiritual based? or are you , say changing your job?

in the end you have to have some pros and cons. put them on paper. ask----as loving as you can--- that she do the same.

from there, talk with her you just may find she need to better understand and or she needs reassurance. women are funny like that.

 

[savedbyhim01]

That would be tough. I would think the first step would be to do everything possible to strengthen the marriage. If the marriage is where it should be, I believe the wife will eventually come around to supporting the husband's vision. Improving a marriage doesn't have to start with both sides. It can start with one side. Make it a vision to love your wife as Christ loved the church. Seek chances to read the Word and pray together. Compliment her. Praise her. Spend quality time with her. Go on dates. Have fun. Spend alone time without the kids. Have real conversations and share how you feel and what you are experiencing. Etc. Etc. If she feels that she is loved and she is your top priority (outside of God), then she may be more likely to be supportive.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

What do you do when your wife shows high level indifference towards your God-given vision.

I wanna know what to do when your vision doesn't support your wife anymore, ha ha ha, snort, snort, chortle, chortle...

But seriously. What does the 'indifference' signify? To me it sounds like the situation I'm in. My wife simply doesn't have a spiritual compass to know one way or the other about when and where spiritual guidances are pointing somewhere to have a qualified opinion about them. It can cause conflict when you do sense that guidance from God and want to act on it but she doesn't have the capacity to discern them.

I've learned that you're married to her, whether she's got a spiritual compass or not. All your decisions have to take her well being into consideration. That is the greater will for the husband who has to divide his spiritual attention between a spouse and God himself. I'm of the opinion that's actually a good way to discern if something really is the express will of God or not. IOW, if it conflicts with my god given obligations to my wife and family it can't be his will. The vision I think is from God really isn't from him, or it has to be fulfilled in a way that satisfies the entire will of God for me, which includes considering my wife's well-being.

 

[felix]

What do you do when your wife shows high level indifference towards your God-given vision.

(Matt 19:29) "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My name's sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life.

Did you notice although "father" and "brothers" are present, "husband" is missing in what Jesus said?

A rebellious wife can be left to proceed with God's work but not the other way round.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

You can not sin against your wife in the name of following a vision that God has given you.

Any vision that requires you to sin against someone in order for you to fulfill it is a vision that is either 1) not from God, or 2) is meant to be fulfilled in another way.

 

[handy]

Felix, I have to disagree with how you are applying our Lord's word here. I don't think our Lord is speaking of leaving one's wife in order to fulfill a good work the Lord might have... but rather, like those in 1 Corinthians 7 who are bound in marriage to an unbelieving spouse and is having that spouse forcing the issue and breaking the marriage because the unbeliever doesn't desire to be bound to a believer.

Whereas Sesantek might have to follow God's vision without the support of his wife, this isn't a case in which Sesantek is allowed to leave her because of her "rebelliousness".

Rebelliousness...failure to obey. Reminder that wives are to be in submission to their husbands... children obey their parents. Slaves obey their masters. Wives are to submit to their husbands. There's a difference and a wise man will not forget that his wife is his "help meet" not his child or slave.

 

[Pizzaguy]

What do you do when your wife shows high level indifference towards your God-given vision.

Indifference? That words means she just doesn't care - is that the case? Or is she hostile towards your vision?

Answer the above and we can proceed from there.



(And Handy, you have got to be the most wise woman I have ever encountered on the internet. I am sure your husband knows he is blessed because of you.)

 

[reba]

yup pizzaguy she is very much a blessing.....

 

[felix]

handy, I did not say one had to leave his wife to do God's work. But rather, a rebellious wife can be left to proceed with God's work. Leaving his wife is neither "divorce" (which scriptures are against) nor "living alone" (which is also against as they are one flesh) which was not my intend and I think it is misunderstood.

The word "rebellious" I used is to show the worst case scenario for "high level indifference" where the husband had to leave his wife for Christ's sake as she is against God's will.

"Help mate" still had to submit to husband's decisions and not go against it, just as the church had to submit to her bridegroom's decisions.

Matt 19:29 is clear on it, just as many Arabs Muslims who become Christians abroad had to leave their entire family (inducing their wives) to follow Christ or just go back only to be killed by his own family back there. While the case described here is not as bad as I described above but the verse explains it all and supports such a thing for Christ's sake (as spoken by Christ Himself).

 

[Jethro Bodine]

I'd be willing to bet the 'indifference' that the OP is talking about is not open rebellion.

What do you do when your wife doesn't give a hoot about a vision God has given you?

It's a hard thing to accept, but even this kind of a benign obstacle to your hopes and expectations for what God wants to do in your life is a very important matter to consider when deciding how to handle a God given vision. Her not being on board, even if it's only because she's indifferent to it, not necessarily adverse to it, can create problems sooner or later.

 

[Adullam]

You can not sin against your wife in the name of following a vision that God has given you.

Any vision that requires you to sin against someone in order for you to fulfill it is a vision that is either 1) not from God, or 2) is meant to be fulfilled in another way.

Why is it so important to gauge the will of God by external circumstances. This would seem to go contrary to faith.

 

[Adullam]

(Matt 19:29) "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My name's sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life.

Did you notice although "father" and "brothers" are present, "husband" is missing in what Jesus said?

A rebellious wife can be left to proceed with God's work but not the other way round.

Agreed..seek first the kingdom! If Adam had done this instead of caving in to his wife...then we would have a much different world.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Why is it so important to gauge the will of God by external circumstances. This would seem to go contrary to faith.

Because those external circumstances are also the will of God.

 

[Adullam]

Because those external circumstances are also the will of God.

..and often meant as a test.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

..and often meant as a test.

Yes, to test if something is the will of God or not.

 

[Pizzaguy]

Agreed..seek first the kingdom! If Adam had done this instead of caving in to his wife...then we would have a much different world.

Yea, we'd all be running around naked !

And without sin, I guess we'd not need sunblock. Personally, Im sick of the greasy crap, but with the top down, use a lot of it here in the south!

 

[felix]

Yea, we'd all be running around naked !

I think we won't be running around naked before the ladies... We will be inside the garden of Eden.

And without sin, I guess we'd not need sunblock. Personally, Im sick of the greasy crap, but with the top down, use a lot of it here in the south!

I don't think sunblock is an issue for many people. I had never used it in my life.