Fellow believers where could I be going wrong as "strong" Female ?

[Hidden In Him]

ive charmed my way into many womens hearts and the strongest connections ive had was the ones that resisted me the most. they all deep down want the same thing, reliability, so they make you prove yourself more before they dare to open themselves up. persistence and desire.

Yes. Some women are more guarded. With many it's because they have been hurt a lot, but with others it's because they also have a lot to offer, and are not about to just give it up to the first person who comes along and shows a little interest.

If you're blessed enough to run into the latter, the extra effort usually ends up being worth it.

 

[Zeth4500]

Yes. Some women are more guarded. With many it's because they have been hurt a lot, but with others it's because they also have a lot to offer, and are not about to just give it up to the first person who comes along and shows a little interest.

If you're blessed enough to run into the latter, the extra effort usually ends up being worth it.

hm, yes it might- many of these young women simply think too highly of themselves and ive had also unfortunate experiences with women that no matter what i did it wasnt enough- narcissism is a modern disease that women are especially prone to making them unable to be realistic and opens up for the worst character traits possible- the vulnerable narcissist variety usually catches me off-guard. they have issues. they want help. but they will never listen because theyre addicted to being victims. its good to remember that jesus also did abandon some people who wouldnt listen

 

[MerciG777]

Just ask him if he wants to get a coffee or something.

After reading a bible plan/devotion, I would follow the trait of Ruth and be patient and let the man lead.

Stop worrying about what you are "supposed" to do, and start being yourself.

1. If he likes you, he knows what you are already.
2. If you are going to be happy being married to him, he will have to accept you for who you are.

This is what I admire and appreciate of God, Christ and the ministry I fellowship. They accept me and he was critical but was loving in a brotherly Christian manner towards me, when we were getting to know each other, he did judge or critize my work or even others but was understanding. It helps a lot the encouragement.

But there are deeper things within where I need to grow and surrender to God and let go. Some things that I worried when I was of the world are still with me.

 

[MerciG777]

its very easy, isolate him and tell him that you like him a lot.

I certainly will not. This does not sound helpful way to fellowship or court in any way shape or form.

either he will say he likes you back, or he wont. many attractive guys dont naturally understand flirting

This is not very relevant to my situation

as for being a tough or strong woman, that is not something to strive for if you want a lasting relationship,

When I say "strong" I have been called that and I mean when I was off the world I had been used to be in a survival/anxiety thankfully Gods peace has calmed me and restored but there is still work to be done.

it will be unfruitful for the sexual chemistry, relationship dynamics. he will feel insulted and belittled and you will feel defeated if you dont get your power.

Probably not the case as I have been called sweet and soft by manner but I was mainly touch on the impression some get. I am def vulnerable too.

assuming this is how you naturally feel and its not just a emotional dissocation from, for instance past trauma (which could then be worked around) then you need to find an unleash for your masculine energy-

strong does not have to be negative or masculine, Deborah/Ruth from the bible were strong women, Mary Magdalena/Naomi were strong women they were still feminine. Samson was physically strong but was extremely weak in resisting (that applies to many humans). So I don't mean masculine because I could never be and it is not healthy for either gender to go against nature.

which some women do have and its perfectly fine, as long as you dont try to make the relationship equal or end up trying to make him submit, this would be inversion of gender roles and deliberately satanic

I am not interested in that

if youre interested i could have some shots at figuring you out a bit more and give some more accurate advice

 

[Hidden In Him]

But there are deeper things within where I need to grow and surrender to God and let go. Some things that I worried when I was of the world are still with me.

That sounds like it may take some time to work through, but all things are possible with God, and I'm guessing he would want to work through it with you as well. Becoming close involves revealing everything about ourselves, the good and the bad, and helping one another to grow in relationship with God, and with each other.

That's part of what becoming truly one with each other is all about.

 

[Hidden In Him]

After reading a bible plan/devotion, I would follow the trait of Ruth and be patient and let the man lead.

I think this is excellent, by the way.

Some things that I worried

If I can, and don't take this the wrong way, but stop being such a chicken and just do it, Lol.

 

[Marci]

Is it true that men are intimidated by strong women? Are strong women off putting because men have this atrocious need to be needed?

 

[Riven]

Is it true that men are intimidated by strong women? Are strong women off putting because men have this atrocious need to be needed?

The feminist types? More like nauseated.

 

[Marci]

The feminist types? More like nauseated.

No not the feminist types. Just the ones that have been through a lot and become independent and not really needing a hero to take care of them. Make sense?

 

[Marci]

For example: My ex taught me how to change a tire in case I ever had a flat. But then when I wanted to change my own tire, he got mad cuz he no longer felt needed cuz I didn't want him to do it in order to sorta rescue me.

 

[Riven]

No not the feminist types. Just the ones that have been through a lot and become independent and not really needing a hero to take care of them. Make sense?

Makes sense.

 

[Riven]

For example: My ex taught me how to change a tire in case I ever had a flat. But then when I wanted to change my own tire, he got mad cuz he no longer felt needed cuz I didn't want him to do it in order to sorta rescue me.

Guys like to feel needed. It's what we are. Its our purpose. But he sounds a little insecure. Did he teach you how to change the oil?

 

[MerciG777]

You know, God says what's really important isn't that we are "strong," or "exciting," or a "leader," or "interesting," but that we are like Jesus.

Romans 8:29 (NASB)
29 For those whom God foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;

2 Corinthians 4:6-11 (NASB)
6 For God, who said, "Light shall shine out of darkness," is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves;
8 we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing;
9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;
10 always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.
11 For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.

As far as God's concerned, we are the best we can possibly when Jesus can be seen clearly in us. I suspect that any godly man encountering a woman in whom Jesus is apparent, would be very strongly attracted to her.

But, of course, it's impossible to pretend to be like Jesus. Doing so is always a disaster because there is nothing, really, of Jesus in a pretense of being like him. No, to be like Jesus we have to be always under the control of the Spirit of Christ, the Holy Spirit, and as we are, he transforms us, making us more and more like Jesus.

1 Peter 5:6 (NASB)
6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,

James 4:7,10 (NASB)
7 Submit therefore to God...

10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.

Romans 12:1 (NASB)
1 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.

And when we are made to be like Christ by the Holy Spirit, we become very attractive to almost everyone around us (except those who hate Christ, of course). Anyway, maybe take your eyes of this guy and put them on Jesus, submit yourself daily to the Spirit's control, and as you do and are changed by the Spirit, I think you'll be surprised by how many truly godly guys suddenly find you very interesting.

I meant called strong in that how I may appear to the world. But of course God knows my needs and how I should rest. I don't know it all and I am still learning and seeking.

 

[MerciG777]

That sounds like it may take some time to work through, but all things are possible with God, and I'm guessing he would want to work through it with you as well. Becoming close involves revealing everything about ourselves, the good and the bad, and helping one another to grow in relationship with God, and with each other.

That's part of what becoming truly one with each other is all about.

Yeah when the time is right, God's timing as we have other themes to attend to in the time being. I meant healing individual trauma which most people in the world have experience. Some great or small or just challenging wounds that may have lasted. I have healed thank God, mentally, emotionally but there is still room.

God exposes and brings light to such things.

I think this is excellent, by the way.


If I can, and don't take this the wrong way, but stop being such a chicken and just do it, Lol.

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Is it true that men are intimidated by strong women? Are strong women off putting because men have this atrocious need to be needed?

I don't see nothing wrong with that. Now there are both men and women who have negative traits.

But men feeling wanted and needed is human nature, plus let's face us women do need them. No Human is an Island. Thank God masculine energy.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

Stop worrying about what you are "supposed" to do, and start being yourself.

1. If he likes you, he knows what you are already.
2. If you are going to be happy being married to him, he will have to accept you for who you are.

This is very good advice. I know couples who faked who they were and the marriage did not work out.

 

[dwb001]

By being a "strong" woman... do you mean a Proverbs 31 woman?
Maybe focus on Proverbs 31 for a few minutes and not on what the world says a woman should be.
Heck... follow all of Proverbs and we all would be better people... Christian or not.

 

[Zeth4500]

you can be a bit masculine and still mainly feminine- being solely masculine is very rare especially for women
i just dont get what you mean by strong if it isnt masculine? maybe we have a different idea of masculinity? i think you might be in denial about having masculine energy, you can get an approximate by taking "gender test" at "idrlabs" online, takes a few minutes, the lenght of ring finger vs index finger would also give an idea- i dont mean to disbelieve you but i have spent many years trying to understand masculine/feminine

youre asking for advice on how to approach a guy- but you dont really wanna take initiative? i think for once it would be golden if you embrace just the slight bit of masculinity every women do have, ive had to ask someone i hold dear some very important questions just today- and luckily- or, by gods grace, i had my worries settled.
you gotta understand the worst possible thing you could be doing, is wasting something so valuable that you couldnt possibly buy it for a billion dollars- just a single second of your life cannot be bought back with any amount of money. so go ahead and pressure him a bit, i remember a psychologist i went to with a former relationship also claimed adding a bit of pressure to get answers is a good idea, its the mature thing to do. to dare to get a no.
besides- if you want a relationship with him, you must understand that communication will be extremely important, so you might as well wanna exercise your communication skills with the opposite gender now.
there is no loss, only your most vital asset: your time. you like him and you deserve some answers from him.

 

[MerciG777]

This is very good advice. I know couples who faked who they were and the marriage did not work out.

TBh I am not going to focus on the dating or intention at all. I knew this wasn't a good idea. As I still have work to do.

Nothing fake between us at the moment. We are still learning but I am going to take a break from now on.

 

[Hidden In Him]

TBh I am not going to focus on the dating or intention at all.

I would agree. Until you actually get down to the business of working out differences, dating is only a distraction. You need to get down to the real work at hand, though I wouldn't put it off. He will be looking for the relationship to go somewhere.

 

[Anaphora]

My honest advice. I would take it really slow. Try to understand. As Christian people, were in spirtual battlefield against evil spirits and satan, ephesians chapter 6 to document. As a Christian, be very careful about compromise against your values and beliefs. When satan as antichrist comes 6th trump. You absolutely don't want a spouse breathing down your neck, pressing you to worship antichrist. Really get to know this person. Bottom line. You shouldn't compromise your values and beliefs. Sister, you absolutely must know who you have in Fox Hole with you. When satan as antichrist comes near future, we can't have Christian people who have a subverted mind or lack faith or their compromised, in the foxhole with us. Look at navy seals bud program. 10 percent out of 100 percent graduate seal school. The weak ones are weeded out. Get the picture. Think it over. Peace.