Amen. The first and most crucial action, though, that Christians are to take is the act of submission. And this act is performed every day, many times a day. As you pointed out, the Holy Spirit won't force us to his will and way. Only when I have acted to put him in charge of me, explicitly, consciously giving him the "steering wheel" of my mind and heart, will he fill me with himself and transform me. Too often, though, submission is seen as a passive thing, as inaction. But it isn't. In fact, staying submitted to God is the Great Battle of Christian living, the key to experiencing the fullness of the life of the Spirit and being transformed into the "image of Christ" (Romans 8:29).
1 Peter 5:6
6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,
Romans 12:1
1 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.
Romans 6:12-14
12 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts,
13 and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.
14 For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace.
James 4:6-7
6 ..."God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
7 Submit therefore to God...
James 4:10
10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.
These days, we are told by Christian teachers/preachers that we must get ourselves under control, by various psychological tricks and strategies coupled to "spiritual" maneuvers (prayer, truth declarations, accountability groups, etc.) render our fleshly "old man" tractable and willing to serve God. There's lip service given to the "help" of the Holy Spirit as we try to wrestle ourselves to the ground, but essentially we are working to subdue ourselves, to fence in our fleshly impulses, and worldly thinking, and natural self-centeredness by our own power - the same power that is producing our sin! It's craziness and doesn't work in the long-term and leaves many, many Christians frustrated, confused, and seriously doubting God, or thinking that any powerful work of God within them only happens on the other side of the grave.
I can't get the "fruit of the Spirit" from fleshly, human effort. The flesh only produces corruption and sin (Galatians 6:7-8; Galatians 5:19-21); the flesh is directly opposed to the Spirit (Galatians 5:17); the flesh cannot be improved, only crucified (Romans 5-8; Galatians 5:24). And yet, though the Bible couldn't be clearer about how impossible it is that fleshly effort should produce spiritual "fruit," Christians are constantly working from self-effort, from the power of the flesh, to achieve godly ends.
When I act on my faith, then, it must always be under the dynamic of Philippians 3:12-13:
12 So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling;
13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.
As Paul the apostle explained in this passage, I can only work out what God has first worked into me. And God does His work in me, filling me with Himself and thus enabling me to do His will, only as I submit myself to Him throughout each day as a "living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God." And so, I find over and over in Scripture verses like the following that locate the power and work of the transformation of who I am, not in me, but in God:
1 Corinthians 1:7-9
7 ...awaiting eagerly the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ,
8 who will also confirm you to the end, blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.
9 God is faithful, through whom you were called into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.
2 Corinthians 3:18
18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.
Romans 8:13-14
13 for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.
14 For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.
Philippians 1:6
6 For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:13
13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24
23 Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
24 Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.
1 Peter 5:10-11
10 After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.
11 To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen.
Jude 1:24-25
24 Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy,
25 to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.
God will fulfill His word to me in these verses but only when I am submitted to His will and way, a "vessel" yielded to Him for His use (2 Timothy 2:21). Under any other circumstance, I am a rebel, living according to my own will and power. God simply won't fill a rebel with Himself. But when I am filled with Him, my mind and heart submitted to His, I find myself astonished by the power He exerts on my behalf, dissolving attitudes, feelings and impulses that would otherwise run roughshod over me without the tearing, agonizing, exhausting effort of self-reformation that was my typical past experience.
Anywhoo...I do go on, at times. My work as a discipler of men for the past nearly three decades makes me very keen to help other believers to a properly biblical and truly transformative experience of God.