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Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide.
Let's see....
No Jesus
No Christmas
No television
No cheerleaders
No baseball
No football
No hockey
No golf
No tailgate parties
No Wal-Mart
No Home Depot
No pork BBQ
No hot dogs
No...
Ancient Technology indicates "we were first"
After digging to a depth of 10 meters last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the...
Facts
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a
crowded restaurant.
4.) If you...
If you think you're having a bad day consider this...
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and...
A Few things to ponder....
The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
Seat belts are not as confining as...
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT
WASHINGTON, DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills...
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts" and the...
Read the whole thing. This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. Please read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.
SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County...
How To Bathe A Cat
I.
Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick...
A Miracle Transformation
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father responded, "Son, I...
Louisiana Hurricane Season Notes
We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Gulf of Mexico and making two basic meteorological points:
(1) There is no need to panic.
(2)...
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses...
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today.. their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this..
*COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT*
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and...
There are a number of mysteries mentioned in the Holy Scriptures.
Questions:
1.What is a mystery?
2.What mysteries are mentioned in the Sacred text?
3. Is a mystery of God for the uninitiated?
4. Is a mystery of God outside the range of unassisted natural apprehension?
5. Is a mystery...
Really!
1 . Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.
2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.
3. The dot over the letter "i" is called a "t i t l e".
4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom...
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