JFrench720
Member
Hello my name is Jonathan I'm 25 and I'm a Christian.
There is a young lady in my life (not romantically) who I just can't seem to stop thinking about and I'm seeking advice from both men and women (Christians) on this matter. Now before we jump to any conclusions I don't literally spend all my time thinking about girls or a girl I do have responsibilities and I spend time working on my craft (music) as well as studying and working. To give you a picture we're (girl and I) African-American, athletic/average build, same for her, I'm 5'10", I'm 25 she's 18 (I know age difference) I think it would help best if I start from the beginning.
My father is a pastor in a small town in CT, he started up an organization with neighboring churches, this is a great thing, a lot of us know each other now when we didn't before and it's really making a difference in our community. A big part of organization is a conference we hold and a big part of the conference is the Praise and Worship Team, I'm a musician and so is she, naturally we served on the team together we would text each other, talk on facebook, etc. but it wouldn't be until a year later or so that my feelings would develop for her. As time went by all of us in the organization became closer, then in September of 2011 she needed a ride to the local community college in which she just enrolled one day because she had no other way to get there and it was raining, naturally I said yes. I did the favor again another day and then I initiated a few days we could hang out together, she agreed, we'd go out and eat food, watch movies, she seemed to have a great time, then one day I confessed my feelings for her and talked about my interest in dating her, but she said she didn't want it to ruin our friendship. As much as it hurt me, I didn't show it at all and did the opposite which she said that made her happy as seeing me hurt would've made her upset "for real" she says.
Time went on, she continued to invite me to things, we still work well together in the music dept. we don't act weird or strange around each other, I even went on a few dates with other girls trying to forget about her as a Christian I know this isn't the most wise way but I'm human and I make mistakes. It obviously didn't work. I even tried to hang around her less. Same thing. One day she invites me to a Buffet for a family members birthday, when I arrived her Grandmother who is also a Minister called me her "Grandson-In Law", I laughed about it. She wasn't around to hear it I don't think. Since then I've seen her grandmother on various occasions and she almost always brings up the subject. During that time was the "trying to forget her phase" at a conference that happened after this party her Grandmother approached my mother and I after a service and said "I'd like your son in my family" they both laughed, I took that time to explain that I really do care about her granddaughter and she said, "Okay, I'll pray but you have to pray with me."
For a while I did pray but it seemed like nothing was changing and my heart was only getting heavier so I stopped and began focusing on other things. I would work on my music, hang out with other friends, even tried the dating thing but I just think about her, what's wrong with me? I won't allow myself to say the "L" word. So months pass and another conference approaches which means we have to practice, during a practice while she was playing drums I thought I saw her staring at me while I wasn't looking, when I turned to look I found out she was! And she got shy, I think I saw her blush very, very briefly but I can't be sure... She quickly gained composure and played it off. I acted like nothing happened. At the conference her Grandmother approached me on the first night and asked if I was still praying, I lied and said yes. After a conversation with my father he told me it was wrong to lie, but understood why it was hard for me to tell the truth, he knows the whole story about us(I told him from the beginning), he likes her and so does my mom. The last night of the conference I confessed to her Grandmother and told her I'd start praying about it again.
Last night I prayed and told God I didn't want her to become a rival with Him in my heart that I wanted to seek Him for what He wanted. I'm not desperate at all to be honest I was happily single I still am in many ways! But it would be great to share this with her. I don't just like her for her looks but I love how she faithfully serves, singing and playing instruments, supporting programs, is very respectful and is respected. In other words I'm not looking at her as a potential girlfriend but a potential wife. Here are the things that stand out to me: She never said she didn't like me, she was staring at me at practice, my father told me that she was watching me as I walked around after the conference one night, and her Grandmother has been praying after all this time. Should I give it another shot?
If you're still reading thank you and now if there is anyone out there who can relate and give some advice please do I await patiently.
There is a young lady in my life (not romantically) who I just can't seem to stop thinking about and I'm seeking advice from both men and women (Christians) on this matter. Now before we jump to any conclusions I don't literally spend all my time thinking about girls or a girl I do have responsibilities and I spend time working on my craft (music) as well as studying and working. To give you a picture we're (girl and I) African-American, athletic/average build, same for her, I'm 5'10", I'm 25 she's 18 (I know age difference) I think it would help best if I start from the beginning.
My father is a pastor in a small town in CT, he started up an organization with neighboring churches, this is a great thing, a lot of us know each other now when we didn't before and it's really making a difference in our community. A big part of organization is a conference we hold and a big part of the conference is the Praise and Worship Team, I'm a musician and so is she, naturally we served on the team together we would text each other, talk on facebook, etc. but it wouldn't be until a year later or so that my feelings would develop for her. As time went by all of us in the organization became closer, then in September of 2011 she needed a ride to the local community college in which she just enrolled one day because she had no other way to get there and it was raining, naturally I said yes. I did the favor again another day and then I initiated a few days we could hang out together, she agreed, we'd go out and eat food, watch movies, she seemed to have a great time, then one day I confessed my feelings for her and talked about my interest in dating her, but she said she didn't want it to ruin our friendship. As much as it hurt me, I didn't show it at all and did the opposite which she said that made her happy as seeing me hurt would've made her upset "for real" she says.
Time went on, she continued to invite me to things, we still work well together in the music dept. we don't act weird or strange around each other, I even went on a few dates with other girls trying to forget about her as a Christian I know this isn't the most wise way but I'm human and I make mistakes. It obviously didn't work. I even tried to hang around her less. Same thing. One day she invites me to a Buffet for a family members birthday, when I arrived her Grandmother who is also a Minister called me her "Grandson-In Law", I laughed about it. She wasn't around to hear it I don't think. Since then I've seen her grandmother on various occasions and she almost always brings up the subject. During that time was the "trying to forget her phase" at a conference that happened after this party her Grandmother approached my mother and I after a service and said "I'd like your son in my family" they both laughed, I took that time to explain that I really do care about her granddaughter and she said, "Okay, I'll pray but you have to pray with me."
For a while I did pray but it seemed like nothing was changing and my heart was only getting heavier so I stopped and began focusing on other things. I would work on my music, hang out with other friends, even tried the dating thing but I just think about her, what's wrong with me? I won't allow myself to say the "L" word. So months pass and another conference approaches which means we have to practice, during a practice while she was playing drums I thought I saw her staring at me while I wasn't looking, when I turned to look I found out she was! And she got shy, I think I saw her blush very, very briefly but I can't be sure... She quickly gained composure and played it off. I acted like nothing happened. At the conference her Grandmother approached me on the first night and asked if I was still praying, I lied and said yes. After a conversation with my father he told me it was wrong to lie, but understood why it was hard for me to tell the truth, he knows the whole story about us(I told him from the beginning), he likes her and so does my mom. The last night of the conference I confessed to her Grandmother and told her I'd start praying about it again.
Last night I prayed and told God I didn't want her to become a rival with Him in my heart that I wanted to seek Him for what He wanted. I'm not desperate at all to be honest I was happily single I still am in many ways! But it would be great to share this with her. I don't just like her for her looks but I love how she faithfully serves, singing and playing instruments, supporting programs, is very respectful and is respected. In other words I'm not looking at her as a potential girlfriend but a potential wife. Here are the things that stand out to me: She never said she didn't like me, she was staring at me at practice, my father told me that she was watching me as I walked around after the conference one night, and her Grandmother has been praying after all this time. Should I give it another shot?
If you're still reading thank you and now if there is anyone out there who can relate and give some advice please do I await patiently.
