J
Joeri
Guest
I dont know what my lifes mission is anymore, from the moment i was born till the moment somwhere in 1992, when I was 8 or 9, i had a perfect relationship with god, i lived in perfect relationship with the spirit,
i last had a dream which was a reminder of what happened, god was very specific on my left side, and suddenly as i knew he would do but was still unexpected, he cloaked his 'face', and i was left in fear. (there actually is a psalm which says that, psalm 30, verse 7 and 8)
before i knew it, in my memory it was my mother, but it was satan, (some christian from my church came to my house once and saw part of what happened)
who lifted me up and as the christian woman saw, i got beaten against the walls with my head. here it becomes vague, i remember also being burned severely, and losing my senses, and being FILLED with fear,( when before that i was perfect love and courage, ) I have to this day, and even that I dont feel. a clairvoyant person once said she never saw anyone with as much fear as me.
a christian on the other hand said on a festival he had to cry when he saw me because he sensed a deep sadness emanating from me.
think of me as someone with burn wounds locked up in a multidimensional invisible closet for the past 12 years. some memory still tells me, that my rescue will not come slightly, but in one day, (The day of the Lord). concerning burns, i had people before that curse, you might call it a curse, and a big one, who knew me and they still know me but now from a distance (psalm 88, verse 9) who sometimes appear here and there, mostly i dont recognise them because there radiating is so intense that it immeditaly brings all the fear to the surface, and one time they were on internet, as i prayed for, on webcam, ive had them in my msn for a year and i didnt realise it even though there was a voice saying me it was them,
and i asked what the color of my hands was. Black, was the answer. (they look pretty white, but there is something like a visual illusion)
i have seen 2 other kids, one named youri, who has the same thing as me, i saw in a dream how the same thing happened to him. another fun thing, im 21 , but in my dreams im 11, i dont grow up in this curse. when i met youri the first time,on the beach, and asked my age, (i was 18 at the time) he said, confidently, 11.
I dont know what more to tell, beside that my dad is clinging to my mother and right now im in truble because ive been fired at work and had a police encounter, nice police woman though, and now hes more autohoritary. he too is misled and i know for fact that his position in heaven, although he is atheist, is very high, but i dont know what his problems are, maybe at some point he forgot God cloaked for him too?
This is also the reason why i dont like much about the selfworth things, reason 1:i know that noone is left standing without god the father reason 2:because of how people treat me, because they believe in a lying outwsard appearance, they are simply plain child molestors if they hurt me. and yet evry1 hates noone more than a child molester in this era.
my mother works at a witch shop named Palm, where you can buy african voodoo stuff and clothing and so on.
oh another nice thing:a christian Gfriend of mine once dreamt witches came in her street, cursing it by throwing snakes and rubbish. later, she saw on webcam my mother. it was one of the witches...
another thing is that i once met a prophet in the library reading the bible who after a conversation started speaking in tongues, and occasionaly said words, he said how it begun, (with my moms father, as i knew, at her 18th she got it as well) and also said one thing i didnt know which scared the crap out of me, that my mom wants to finish it on in my sister..., whom i have to no avail have been trying to get to church with me for the past months.
hope i said enough for now :D
Prayers are as you see always welcome, i need faith hope love courage safety protection and A better relationship with my dad... and my dad must stop clinging to my mom.
thanks
i last had a dream which was a reminder of what happened, god was very specific on my left side, and suddenly as i knew he would do but was still unexpected, he cloaked his 'face', and i was left in fear. (there actually is a psalm which says that, psalm 30, verse 7 and 8)
before i knew it, in my memory it was my mother, but it was satan, (some christian from my church came to my house once and saw part of what happened)
who lifted me up and as the christian woman saw, i got beaten against the walls with my head. here it becomes vague, i remember also being burned severely, and losing my senses, and being FILLED with fear,( when before that i was perfect love and courage, ) I have to this day, and even that I dont feel. a clairvoyant person once said she never saw anyone with as much fear as me.
a christian on the other hand said on a festival he had to cry when he saw me because he sensed a deep sadness emanating from me.
think of me as someone with burn wounds locked up in a multidimensional invisible closet for the past 12 years. some memory still tells me, that my rescue will not come slightly, but in one day, (The day of the Lord). concerning burns, i had people before that curse, you might call it a curse, and a big one, who knew me and they still know me but now from a distance (psalm 88, verse 9) who sometimes appear here and there, mostly i dont recognise them because there radiating is so intense that it immeditaly brings all the fear to the surface, and one time they were on internet, as i prayed for, on webcam, ive had them in my msn for a year and i didnt realise it even though there was a voice saying me it was them,
and i asked what the color of my hands was. Black, was the answer. (they look pretty white, but there is something like a visual illusion)
i have seen 2 other kids, one named youri, who has the same thing as me, i saw in a dream how the same thing happened to him. another fun thing, im 21 , but in my dreams im 11, i dont grow up in this curse. when i met youri the first time,on the beach, and asked my age, (i was 18 at the time) he said, confidently, 11.
I dont know what more to tell, beside that my dad is clinging to my mother and right now im in truble because ive been fired at work and had a police encounter, nice police woman though, and now hes more autohoritary. he too is misled and i know for fact that his position in heaven, although he is atheist, is very high, but i dont know what his problems are, maybe at some point he forgot God cloaked for him too?
This is also the reason why i dont like much about the selfworth things, reason 1:i know that noone is left standing without god the father reason 2:because of how people treat me, because they believe in a lying outwsard appearance, they are simply plain child molestors if they hurt me. and yet evry1 hates noone more than a child molester in this era.
my mother works at a witch shop named Palm, where you can buy african voodoo stuff and clothing and so on.
oh another nice thing:a christian Gfriend of mine once dreamt witches came in her street, cursing it by throwing snakes and rubbish. later, she saw on webcam my mother. it was one of the witches...
another thing is that i once met a prophet in the library reading the bible who after a conversation started speaking in tongues, and occasionaly said words, he said how it begun, (with my moms father, as i knew, at her 18th she got it as well) and also said one thing i didnt know which scared the crap out of me, that my mom wants to finish it on in my sister..., whom i have to no avail have been trying to get to church with me for the past months.
hope i said enough for now :D
Prayers are as you see always welcome, i need faith hope love courage safety protection and A better relationship with my dad... and my dad must stop clinging to my mom.
thanks
