Hi
I am so sorry for the hurt and pain that this causes with in the lives that it is around. So I pray for the pain that is with in.
I would like to say that she has the right to see her child whether we like it or not.
What you need to do is establish a great relationship with your son and make the life you lead Be in Christ and teach him the ways of the Lord that will keep both of you in Jesus Care.
When he is with his mom let him call you when he is going to be baby sat so that you can sit with him or have him stay with you.
Communicate to your wife that is what you would approve of if she can not be with him when it is his turn to stay with her.
Let him enjoy his mother in the places that he can and do not turn him away from her in any way. This division will come back on you and hurt the both of you later.
Sit down and let your wife know that you Forgive her and want your son in her life but that you would prefer that if she has not time for him in any way because you know that she is busy. That you would gladly watch him then have a baby sitter for him. Make that clear. Say I do not want a fight and am trying to make this situation work for the both of us.
Let us not hurt one another or use this to hurt on another any more.
I love you as my sons mother and no more and know that you have moved on I have moved on too. But we need to do what is best for our son that he can feel secure and Loved.
Do not in any way move towards soul Custody unless you have talked to lawyers that know apsolutely know you can win. She Abandoned you both so that might be a case in its self. But you striving to keep him away for religious beliefs will not win anything. I you strive to prove her a unfit mother will not make points with your son. Because she will leave him with a baby sitter will not be a choice for soul Custody. You could do more damage then good with this threat coming into her life and the war torn zone will begin and you might not win.
A far as Child support that can be done with out take soul custody of the child. There should be rights to you in Supporting your son as she has left you. You will have to go to court and they will set and amount to what she has to pay to you. But this could trigger off her wanting soul custody for the money she would get from you of course doing it out of Spite.
Show the Love of God and the Consern before her for your Son and him only. Pray for the salvation of her soul and that the Conviction of the heart will be with in her everytime she see you or her son that God can draw by his spirit to bring about Victory in this situration.
Give her, her rights to the child and you support the child as you were the head of the house you still are and care and love and raise that child with moral and standards that will stand true when he see his mother every day.
I pray that God will give you the Wisdom in the Love of the Lord and the Forgiveness we must have to go on in the Hurt situation before you.
I pray he gives you the words to have Love conveyed into your Childs heart to deal with the situation and have him Forgive and move with love towards his mother.
Only the Love of God can Cover a Multitude of sin and this is how you will win this war against the Sin that has taken and darken your door in your life and the life of your son.
Make a great thing for your son on her birthday for his Mother give a gift of exceptance and the love of your Son from you. Nothing lavish or sometimes just a card that says it all.
Give thanks for her every Thanksgiving from you and your son together with a gift basket that she is the great person who gave you your son and his love for his mother.
Love Builds relationship it does not tare down and destroy even in this circumstance that is hard and hurting and destructive. You and only you can turn this around in the Agapy Love of God that it stands out every time she sees it with in and around her life. This is what will draw.
Remember her in every holiday to encourage the love that you have inside you for her in Christ and for her souls sake. This takes courage and Prayer and Strength to do it with power from above.
I know you feel betrayed, hurt, abandoned, unexcepted, unloved but you are 50% to blame in this situation what made her go to the arms of another man. 50% her 50% you no buts about it there is reason and maybe you will never know the reason but you must look unto yourself and see the reason with in you and Forgive and move on to Love her soul to Christ in everyway that you can. Do not hound or pressure or pursue her in any way because you are just a friend in her life because of your son and that is where you will start to change how you deal with her and your son as a friend. Praying for you that you will have the courage to do these things in the Love of the Lord and with much strength he will give you.
Write me any time as I would love to know how you & your son are doing.
RJD Servant
