What's new
By:
Filters
Christian Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

  • Are you taking the time to pray? Christ is the answer in times of need

    https://christianforums.net/threads/psalm-70-1-save-me-o-god-lord-help-me-now.108509/

  • The Gospel of Jesus Christ

    Heard of "The Gospel"? Want to know more?

    There is salvation in no other, for there is not another name under heaven having been given among men, by which it behooves us to be saved."

    Read The Gospel Online.

  • Looking to grow in the word of God more?

    See our Bible Studies and Devotionals sections in Christian Growth

  • Focus on the Family

    Strengthening families through biblical principles.

    Focus on the Family addresses the use of biblical principles in parenting and marriage to strengthen the family.

    Read daily articles from Focus on the Family in the Marriage and Parenting Resources forum.

  • Have questions about the Christian faith?

    Come ask us what's on your mind in Questions and Answers

  • Wearing the right shoes, and properly clothed spiritually?

    Join Elected By Him for a devotional on Ephesians 6:14-15

    https://christianforums.net/threads/devotional-selecting-the-proper-shoes.109094/

Dilemma

C

chezahu

Member
Not sure about what the best way is to word it. I was very close with a female friend of mine...we got too close and went too far sexually. not 'all the way' but certainly past what I'd call appropriate. Because we both felt immature, we agreed we'd stick to being friends, and have been so for the past couple of years. The past week or so I've been feeling extremely heavy hearted, I'm always close to crying because I think about the future and what our friendship will look like. it doesn't seem sustainable because of the history but I plead to God for mercy... I'm just not sure what next step I should take
 
Sort by date Sort by votes
chezahu said:
Not sure about what the best way is to word it. I was very close with a female friend of mine...we got too close and went too far sexually. not 'all the way' but certainly past what I'd call appropriate. Because we both felt immature, we agreed we'd stick to being friends, and have been so for the past couple of years. The past week or so I've been feeling extremely heavy hearted, I'm always close to crying because I think about the future and what our friendship will look like. it doesn't seem sustainable because of the history but I plead to God for mercy... I'm just not sure what next step I should take
Click to expand...

Greetings and welcome to Christian Forums.

So this incident of getting too close happened just recently then? Why do you think it is not sustainable?
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
It happened a couple of years ago. I guess I don't know whether it's possible or wise for us to remain friends and also honour God. If lingering feelings come up, if a future romantic partner takes note of our close friendship and feels threatened... it seems to be inevitable that it ends. This however, is the best friend I've known, she knows me deeply and we are both part of a tightly knit community. I want things between us to be restored but I also feel like I'm being naive in asking God for that.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
chezahu said:
It happened a couple of years ago. I guess I don't know whether it's possible or wise for us to remain friends and also honour God. If lingering feelings come up, if a future romantic partner takes note of our close friendship and feels threatened... it seems to be inevitable that it ends. This however, is the best friend I've known, she knows me deeply and we are both part of a tightly knit community. I want things between us to be restored but I also feel like I'm being naive in asking God for that.
Click to expand...

Well again, why? Why would you be naive to ask for that, and why is it that the two of you never pursued getting married? Did you talk at all about how you could make a living? I'm assuming she feels the same way you do, correct?
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
Guess I should have prefaced this by saying this happened when we were both foolish teenagers and are now both 20... marriage and finances was a conversation that probably felt a little too above us. She seems to feel fine about carrying on as friends,and I want that too but there's a lack of peace. when I said I wanted things to be restored, by the way, I meant our friendship rather than the short but intense romantic stint we had.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
chezahu said:
Guess I should have prefaced this by saying this happened when we were both foolish teenagers and are now both 20... marriage and finances was a conversation that probably felt a little too above us. She seems to feel fine about carrying on as friends,and I want that too but there's a lack of peace. when I said I wanted things to be restored, by the way, I meant our friendship rather than the short but intense romantic stint we had.
Click to expand...

Well, sounds to me like you need to just invest yourself in the Lord more. You have a long life ahead of you, and the trouble is that until He sends you the partner He has for you, your mind can drift because of the loneliness. But if you concentrate on serving Him more and giving yourself to your calling (your spiritual interests), you will be preparing yourself all the more for whoever He ultimately wants you to be best friends with and be a life partner with. That may sound easier to say than to do, but it beats being sad or lacking for peace. But He hasn't given us a Spirit that lacks Peace, so I would just give myself increasingly to Him, and cast this care on Him to take care of it and continue drawing closer to Him. He has your answer, it just sounds like you will have to wait on Him to receive it is all.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
Hidden In Him said:
Well, sounds to me like you need to just invest yourself in the Lord more. You have a long life ahead of you, and the trouble is that until He sends you the partner He has for you, your mind can drift because of the loneliness. But if you concentrate on serving Him more and giving yourself to your calling (your spiritual interests), you will be preparing yourself all the more for whoever He ultimately wants you to be best friends with and be a life partner with. That may sound easier to say than to do, but it beats being sad or lacking for peace. But He hasn't given us a Spirit that lacks Peace, so I would just give myself increasingly to Him, and cast this care on Him to take care of it and continue drawing closer to Him. He has your answer, it just sounds like you will have to wait on Him to receive it is all.
Click to expand...

Sorry. Typos cleaned up now.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
chezahu said:
Thank you for the encouragement! I did think along the same lines but it is good to hear from someone else as well. I'm sure you can imagine it's not easy to tell things like this to adults like my parents and such.
Click to expand...

Well that's what forums can be good for. But you never know if they might be happy to talk with you about it or not, all depends on the parents.

But yeah, it's about encouraging one another. Some people have to wait a very long time to find the one they were intended to be with, but it makes you all the more happy when you finally find her, so pray to Him about it and put it in His hands. He's a good God and He knows what He's doing. :thm
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
chezahu said:
She seems to feel fine about carrying on as friends,and I want that too but there's a lack of peace.
Click to expand...
Have a discussion with her and see what her thoughts are on your friendship , be honest with her on what your thoughts are . Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants and the rest of our being goes along for the ride so to speak .
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
chezahu said:
The past week or so I've been feeling extremely heavy hearted, I'm always close to crying because I think about the future and what our friendship will look like. it doesn't seem sustainable because of the history but I plead to God for mercy
Click to expand...

Welcome to the forum, you've been given good advice on this forum.
May I add some thoughts.
1st, if you have confessed your sins to God you will have been forgiven, see 1John1:9.
2nd, please talk to your doctor about your mood swings and emotional instability.
If there is an underlying medical reason for this it needs treating.
3rd, talk to your minister for spiritual and social advice..

As has been suggested do talk with your friend, from what you've posted she is happy to be a friend so seek to maintain that friendship.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top