[_ Old Earth _] Do EVOLUTIONITES have a sense of Humor???

[Justice]

Parody/Satire???

ED ANGER: STOP TEACHING OUR KIDS THIS EVOLUTION CLAPTRAP!

I'm madder than Adam with a one-inch fig leaf at how these left-wing heathens, atheists and agnostics are trying to stuff this evolution baloney down our kids' throats!

If we teach children that everything the Bible says is dead wrong and to believe a bunch of cold-blooded scientists with microscopes instead, then is it any wonder that every time you turn on the TV, you hear that some nerd has just gone on a shooting spree at school or that teen pregnancy is skyrocketing through the roof?

How are younguns supposed to know right from wrong if you tell them we're no different from chimpanzees, pigs and dogs? To a child, that means everything a dog does -- whether its humping anything with legs, stealing food, eating its own vomit or sniffing disgusting stuff for fun -- is perfectly natural and A-OK for them too.

The latest flap over all this cropped up in Georgia, when the state school superintendent, Kathy Cox, slapped a ban on the word "evolution" in science classrooms and ordered it removed from all textbooks too.

Quite reasonably, Superintendent Cox said she was cutting out evolution because it's "a buzz word that causes a lot of negative reaction," and some folks might think Georgia was "teaching the monkeys-to-man sort of thing."

Well, as you might expect, the liberals threw a full-scale hissy fit. Even that wimp Jimmy Carter of all people got into the act, moaning that Miss Cox had turned Georgia into a national laughingstock. And he and his leftist pals got the education department to stick the word right back in.

Jumping jiminy, that meddling do-gooder is a disgrace to Southern gentlemen everywhere! If Georgia needs to be embarrassed about anything, it's giving America that loser to be our president for four years.

Folks, this whole evolution malarkey is the biggest hoax in scientific history. Anybody who could meet the Slocums, that clan of low-down moonshiners who live up in the mountains back home, and then say they descended from apes is insulting every gol-durned monkey that ever walked God's green Earth, by gum.

No animal ever would try the back-shooting, conniving, just plain cussed skullduggery those bushwhacking rapscallions pull off on a regular basis.

And I ask you, if there really is such a thing as "survival of the fittest," why are all those weaklings with Coke-bottle-bottom glasses and idiots who get mangled after trying to imitate some stupid stunt they saw on that TV show Jackass not extinct yet?

Now over in Missouri, they've come up with a mighty fair idea: A bill that would require teaching the theory of intelligent design right alongside Darwin's theory of evolution, both getting equal time.

Why shouldn't kids be exposed to the valid scientific hypothesis that says everything in the Bible is true and God made Eve out of Adam's rib?

That way they'll be free to make up their own minds -- instead of being told what to think by a pack of God-hating pinkos.

 

[reznwerks]

Parody/Satire???

ED ANGER: STOP TEACHING OUR KIDS THIS EVOLUTION CLAPTRAP!

I'm madder than Adam with a one-inch fig leaf at how these left-wing heathens, atheists and agnostics are trying to stuff this evolution baloney down our kids' throats!
I suppose you would rather ignore what is in front of you and insist on teaching them that an invisible being that no one has ever seen or heard is responsible for everything.

If we teach children that everything the Bible says is dead wrong and to believe a bunch of cold-blooded scientists with microscopes instead, then is it any wonder that every time you turn on the TV, you hear that some nerd has just gone on a shooting spree at school or that teen pregnancy is skyrocketing through the roof?
Do you want to go off on a tangent or stick to the subject. Everything in the bible is not wrong but clearly their are enough errors and mistakes that one has to look very carefully before accepting everything that is there. China is probably the most atheistic society we know of and they don't suffer the problems you bring up. Society can have any society they want if they teach it . You don't need a God as an excuse.

How are younguns supposed to know right from wrong if you tell them we're no different from chimpanzees, pigs and dogs? To a child, that means everything a dog does -- whether its humping anything with legs, stealing food, eating its own vomit or sniffing disgusting stuff for fun -- is perfectly natural and A-OK for them too.
Thats easy. Just tell them what is right from wrong and enforce the punishment what ever it might be. DUH. We are different from chimps and pigs because we think and they don't.It's not rocket science.

The latest flap over all this cropped up in Georgia, when the state school superintendent, Kathy Cox, slapped a ban on the word "evolution" in science classrooms and ordered it removed from all textbooks too.

Quite reasonably, Superintendent Cox said she was cutting out evolution because it's "a buzz word that causes a lot of negative reaction," and some folks might think Georgia was "teaching the monkeys-to-man sort of thing."

Well, as you might expect, the liberals threw a full-scale hissy fit. Even that wimp Jimmy Carter of all people got into the act, moaning that Miss Cox had turned Georgia into a national laughingstock. And he and his leftist pals got the education department to stick the word right back in.
Evolution is an accepted word and accepted scientific theory which has reliable evidence backing it up. Creationism has nothing of the sort.

Jumping jiminy, that meddling do-gooder is a disgrace to Southern gentlemen everywhere! If Georgia needs to be embarrassed about anything, it's giving America that loser to be our president for four years.
I'm no fan of Jimmy Carter but he was right on this one. Do you know why? Because he at least has a scientific backround and knows the evidence. All theists have is a belief that they want taught as fact.

Folks, this whole evolution malarkey is the biggest hoax in scientific history. Anybody who could meet the Slocums, that clan of low-down moonshiners who live up in the mountains back home, and then say they descended from apes is insulting every gol-durned monkey that ever walked God's green Earth, by gum.
I see you don't understand what evolution is either. Man did not decend from apes. Man decended from himself which was apelike.

Now over in Missouri, they've come up with a mighty fair idea: A bill that would require teaching the theory of intelligent design right alongside Darwin's theory of evolution, both getting equal time.
It doesn't deserve any time unless they can offer some evidence to back it up other than a belief.

Why shouldn't kids be exposed to the valid scientific hypothesis that says everything in the Bible is true and God made Eve out of Adam's rib?
Ah Because the creation theory doesn't have any scientific evidence. If you want to say the bible is true it shouldn't be hard to prove. However so far I haven't seen anything but excuses. When you say the evidence doesn't prove evolution remember the bible has NO evidence at all.

That way they'll be free to make up their own minds -- instead of being told what to think by a pack of God-hating pinkos. They don't hate God as he doesn't exist. They hate the superstion. People have been making up their own minds for over a hundred years now. Those that look and understand what they are looking at throw the creation story out on its ear.

 

[Chupacabra]

That's definately satire. Ed Anger is a columnist for the Weekly World News, the same paper that has stories about Bat Boy.

 

[ThinkerMan]

I have a great sense of humor.

In fact, I laugh all the time when I read stuff in this forum.

It can be quite entertaining.