[__ Prayer __] Don't Know What To Do or What Exactly is Wrong

[NestForASparrow]

I don't know what is wrong with me...I don't know why I stopped going to Church earlier this year (well OT contributed, but I still stopped going long after I did not work on Sundays), but my distance from my Christian roots has been longer than that (I would attend Church but have no desire to worship anymore because I would feel embarrassed, etc.)...I don't why lust has creeped back into my life after four years of absence and I don't feel it is as wrong as I used to.....I don't know why I have a huge empty place in my soul and a dearth of feeling in my heart.

I just need prayer to help me to understand once again and just get my life in order....I have this conviction that a Christian who has found joy in being in connection with the Holy Spirit should no longer have the feeling of being a lost sheep...I find it ironic I was much happier when I was stressed looking for a job for an extended period of time than I do now since having a steady job....it's not that I am just going through the motions; that time has passed and now I just lie with my face down, defeated.

I just hate this life that I am living and have a desire to get myself out of the much and mire. I need help; I can't do this on my own, I can't do this on my own. My freedom just isn't worth the sin, it's not worth the despair and feeling of not being what I have been called to be.

While writing this, I've felt a strong desire to listen to Sooner or Later by Switchfoot over and over again. Here are the lyrics.

Come back and haunt me
Follow me home
Give me a motive
Swallow me whole

They say I've lost it
What could I know
When I'm but a mockery?
I'm so alone

Sooner of later you'll find out
There's a hole in the wall

Today is ours
Condemned to be free
Free to keep breathing
Free to believe

I look to find you
Down on my knees
Oh God, I believe!
Please help me believe

Sooner or later they'll find out
There's a hole in the wall
Sooner or later you'll find out
That you'll dream to be that small

I'm a believer, help me believe

I gave it all away and lost who I am
I threw it all away
With everything to gain
And I'm taking the leap
With dreams of shrinking
Yeah, dreams of shrinking

 

[AirDancer]

You're in my prayers, NestforaSparrow. Focus your sights and attention on our Lord and His Word. He will guide you back to the proper path. He never abandons us!

Blessings!

 

[Eugene]

Dear NestForASparrow, I cannot give advice other than that which I and others in the way have experienced. I have told others this, but I believe it is the standard we are led through to establish our walk. In Romans Chapter Seven Paul found himself in like circumstances; read it, and then in Romans 8:1 after learning the truth of the matter of what he really was he says "Therefore." That points back to all he just went through and says "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus."

Pick yourself off the floor of defeat and just get back into the word of God. You will grow in faith and the other things will be added. God loves you at all times and He is not near done with the instruction He is allowing in your life for your good. Romans 8:28. 1 Peter 4:12-13 Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: 13 But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.

Even when we are at our lowest, God is constantly at work in us, and in Christ we already have the victory over sin. The only thing our Father sees when He looks on us is Jesus. or we would be dead meat.

Blessings in Christ Jesus.