NEOXenosAngelo
Member
Hello Christians, and this is my testimony. It's kinda long, so be prepared to read a lot.
So basically, I grew up in the Catholic Church. I was baptized and I did Communion there. I don't think I was ever fully(what's the term?) certified. But I went to church pretty much every Sunday, but I never felt any real connection to God. But my life was just normal and nothing special up until I was about 10. That was when my Great Uncle Mel passed. This was the first time in life I really understood death, and so it hit me really hard. The next year, my Great Uncle Joe passed away. This hit me really hard again, and I began to go towards a phase of depression. I also began to gain weight. The next year, my Uncle Mike passed away. He was only 42 or 43 at the time, and this struck the family very hard. Especially my Mother and her side of the family. That was the same year we had to put down my first dog if I'm correct(could've been the year before, don't remember). I was beginning to really continue south after this. My Mother also began to really lose herself too. The loss of her brother really impacted her life heavily. Soon she lost her job too, and went into a wallowing depression. And then next year, the unfortunate trend continued when my Grandpa from my Dad's side passed away. This left me even more devastated. It was one of the first times I've ever seen my Dad cry, and it shattered me. And the next year was when the crap really hit the fan. My parents decided to split up at the beginning of my eight grade year. This tore the whole family apart. I can remember the months prior in the summer of all the screams and cries that would keep my brothers and I awake at night. It finally ended that Septemeber when our Mother left. This was when I came to an all time low. I really began questioning my faith at this point, wondering why God had never helped. The reason was, I didn't have a true faith yet. Only a false life. And as the separation progressed, things only got worse between my parents. It came to the point where I felt I had almost no Mother anymore. I was forced into therapy a few months into the separation. Soon, my Mom began attending, and I began to rebuild our relationship. But soon, the downfall was coming. Febuary of the next month I had learned my Mom was pregnant, and her new boyfriend was the father. My parents were still married too, just separated. When I learned this, I built a hatred unlike any other towards my Mother. I convinced myself to believe she was dead. All that was left behind was her evil spirit, and that my real Mom went somewhere else. I'm not sure if this was revelation from God or not, but when I was about four years old I remember having a dream in which my brother and I were chasing after our Mom who was walking away into the sunset to leave us behind. We screamed and cried for her to come back, but she did not listen. Coincidence or revelation...I won't know for awhile I guess. But from this point it had become a reality. I never wanted to speak to her again, and I literally wished she was dead sometimes. When I'd hang out with friends I'd often refer to her as a "w****." I'd insult her like it was nothing. It was sickening. But that same year was when things started to change. After about five months I hadn't talked to her once. I met a cool dude named Spencer at our apartments' public pool. Twenty three years old and an ex-Army soldier. I remember telling him about my situation, and he told me I should still love my Mother. And that struct me, but I tried to deny. Sadly, I never got the chance to know if he's saved or not, I think he's moved away now. But please anyone who reads pray for his salvation sometime in his life!!! But that was only one incident. The next was when I went to see my Grandma(on my Mom's side). She seemed like she was forgiving of my Mother, and questioned why I haven't talked to her. I felt some what of a bitterness towards her for questioning me, but it struck me again. So it's late October of my freshman year, and I start feeling different in a way I couldn't explain. Still in therapy, we discuss talking to my Mom, and trying to make things up. So I bring this up to my good friend Zaine who has been saved for years, and ask his advice. He says I should try to forgive her. So soon its set up. The plan is my Mom will come into therapy and I will share my feelings which I wrote down on paper, and try to resolve the conflict. My therapist then made a less hostile version of my paper, and asked me choose which one to use. When I next came, she told me her supervisor threw them both out. My heart immediately sank, because my Mom was coming in THAT NIGHT to talk with me! I had no words to say, and my heart was beating out of my chest from nervousness. My Mother soon entered and sat down in front of me. This would be my first contact with her since early Febuary...it was now November 8. When she said down, I prepared to say my first words, when suddenly, all of my nervousness faded, and I suddenly knew everything I wanted to say. I said my first word and my Mother bursted into tears. Absolutely balling her eyes out. The sound of my voice, the voice she hadn't heard in nine months finally impacted her ear drums. But I somehow manged to hold in my own tears. And a personal fact, I cannot stand to watch people cry. It almost always brings me to tears, especially when it's someone close. So put yourself in my shoes now, and tell me you wouldn't be nervous, dumbstruck and crying. I wondered how I was able to hold it all back. But then, I continued speaking and gave my Mom my feelings. And to my surprise, that night we made up. My Mother was back in my life, and the hatred and bitterness was gone. I had forgiven her. I walked out of that building that night wondering what the actual crap came over me and held back my emotions of fear, nervousness, and sadness. Now lets jump back three weeks. I was beginning to attend the school's unsuccessful Philosophy Club. Little did I know, most of its ten or so people were Christians who are apart of Xenos Christian Fellowship. God came up once, I forget how, but He came up. I mentioned I was a "believer," in which my now good friend PJ fist-pumped me for mentioned(on a sad side note, he has now left our ministry due to some disagreements, please pray for him!). On the way to the club this girl Rachel from the group asked me to attend a home church. I accepted, because I still had faint belief in God. I went and had the time of my life there! The next week I attended cell group(smaller gender groups for more open conversation), and felt the Amazingness again! The third week, two days after I had forgiven my Mother I attended another home church. I talked to my now good friend Tommy about it, who seems quite happy about this. Not long after, he and PJ talked to me about salvation, and informed me about what it was and how to do it. I agreed to do this so-called "salvation" and they took me to the back room. They both prayed, and then I commenced the ultimate prayer in which I accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour. My fate was sealed there and then on November 10, 2011 at about 8 PM. I wasn't too sure what I had done, but felt this ultimate happiness and fulfillment at that point. This is what I now know was the Holy Spirit entering me. PJ and Tommy began informing everyone, and I received a lot of hugs and congratulations. I'd never been so happy before in my life. I didn't quite understand what the big deal was at the time, but that was due to my lack of knowledge, but I'm wella aware of it now. Not long after I also learned that night when I talked to my Mom, it was God providing me with the words and strength to speak to my Mom. And I can't thank Him enough for it!!! So, to this day I'm still a strong Christian, coming close to my second year or living the full life. I still attend Xenos Christian Fellowship regularly. Everyday has been a blessing. I've helped bring my good friend Jason to Christ, my friend Zaine out of his own depression, my friend Matthew out of his legalistic mindset, and am currently working to help save four more friends. The Lord has changed me so much, and I am so thankful for this!!! THANK YOU GOD!!! :amen
So basically, I grew up in the Catholic Church. I was baptized and I did Communion there. I don't think I was ever fully(what's the term?) certified. But I went to church pretty much every Sunday, but I never felt any real connection to God. But my life was just normal and nothing special up until I was about 10. That was when my Great Uncle Mel passed. This was the first time in life I really understood death, and so it hit me really hard. The next year, my Great Uncle Joe passed away. This hit me really hard again, and I began to go towards a phase of depression. I also began to gain weight. The next year, my Uncle Mike passed away. He was only 42 or 43 at the time, and this struck the family very hard. Especially my Mother and her side of the family. That was the same year we had to put down my first dog if I'm correct(could've been the year before, don't remember). I was beginning to really continue south after this. My Mother also began to really lose herself too. The loss of her brother really impacted her life heavily. Soon she lost her job too, and went into a wallowing depression. And then next year, the unfortunate trend continued when my Grandpa from my Dad's side passed away. This left me even more devastated. It was one of the first times I've ever seen my Dad cry, and it shattered me. And the next year was when the crap really hit the fan. My parents decided to split up at the beginning of my eight grade year. This tore the whole family apart. I can remember the months prior in the summer of all the screams and cries that would keep my brothers and I awake at night. It finally ended that Septemeber when our Mother left. This was when I came to an all time low. I really began questioning my faith at this point, wondering why God had never helped. The reason was, I didn't have a true faith yet. Only a false life. And as the separation progressed, things only got worse between my parents. It came to the point where I felt I had almost no Mother anymore. I was forced into therapy a few months into the separation. Soon, my Mom began attending, and I began to rebuild our relationship. But soon, the downfall was coming. Febuary of the next month I had learned my Mom was pregnant, and her new boyfriend was the father. My parents were still married too, just separated. When I learned this, I built a hatred unlike any other towards my Mother. I convinced myself to believe she was dead. All that was left behind was her evil spirit, and that my real Mom went somewhere else. I'm not sure if this was revelation from God or not, but when I was about four years old I remember having a dream in which my brother and I were chasing after our Mom who was walking away into the sunset to leave us behind. We screamed and cried for her to come back, but she did not listen. Coincidence or revelation...I won't know for awhile I guess. But from this point it had become a reality. I never wanted to speak to her again, and I literally wished she was dead sometimes. When I'd hang out with friends I'd often refer to her as a "w****." I'd insult her like it was nothing. It was sickening. But that same year was when things started to change. After about five months I hadn't talked to her once. I met a cool dude named Spencer at our apartments' public pool. Twenty three years old and an ex-Army soldier. I remember telling him about my situation, and he told me I should still love my Mother. And that struct me, but I tried to deny. Sadly, I never got the chance to know if he's saved or not, I think he's moved away now. But please anyone who reads pray for his salvation sometime in his life!!! But that was only one incident. The next was when I went to see my Grandma(on my Mom's side). She seemed like she was forgiving of my Mother, and questioned why I haven't talked to her. I felt some what of a bitterness towards her for questioning me, but it struck me again. So it's late October of my freshman year, and I start feeling different in a way I couldn't explain. Still in therapy, we discuss talking to my Mom, and trying to make things up. So I bring this up to my good friend Zaine who has been saved for years, and ask his advice. He says I should try to forgive her. So soon its set up. The plan is my Mom will come into therapy and I will share my feelings which I wrote down on paper, and try to resolve the conflict. My therapist then made a less hostile version of my paper, and asked me choose which one to use. When I next came, she told me her supervisor threw them both out. My heart immediately sank, because my Mom was coming in THAT NIGHT to talk with me! I had no words to say, and my heart was beating out of my chest from nervousness. My Mother soon entered and sat down in front of me. This would be my first contact with her since early Febuary...it was now November 8. When she said down, I prepared to say my first words, when suddenly, all of my nervousness faded, and I suddenly knew everything I wanted to say. I said my first word and my Mother bursted into tears. Absolutely balling her eyes out. The sound of my voice, the voice she hadn't heard in nine months finally impacted her ear drums. But I somehow manged to hold in my own tears. And a personal fact, I cannot stand to watch people cry. It almost always brings me to tears, especially when it's someone close. So put yourself in my shoes now, and tell me you wouldn't be nervous, dumbstruck and crying. I wondered how I was able to hold it all back. But then, I continued speaking and gave my Mom my feelings. And to my surprise, that night we made up. My Mother was back in my life, and the hatred and bitterness was gone. I had forgiven her. I walked out of that building that night wondering what the actual crap came over me and held back my emotions of fear, nervousness, and sadness. Now lets jump back three weeks. I was beginning to attend the school's unsuccessful Philosophy Club. Little did I know, most of its ten or so people were Christians who are apart of Xenos Christian Fellowship. God came up once, I forget how, but He came up. I mentioned I was a "believer," in which my now good friend PJ fist-pumped me for mentioned(on a sad side note, he has now left our ministry due to some disagreements, please pray for him!). On the way to the club this girl Rachel from the group asked me to attend a home church. I accepted, because I still had faint belief in God. I went and had the time of my life there! The next week I attended cell group(smaller gender groups for more open conversation), and felt the Amazingness again! The third week, two days after I had forgiven my Mother I attended another home church. I talked to my now good friend Tommy about it, who seems quite happy about this. Not long after, he and PJ talked to me about salvation, and informed me about what it was and how to do it. I agreed to do this so-called "salvation" and they took me to the back room. They both prayed, and then I commenced the ultimate prayer in which I accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour. My fate was sealed there and then on November 10, 2011 at about 8 PM. I wasn't too sure what I had done, but felt this ultimate happiness and fulfillment at that point. This is what I now know was the Holy Spirit entering me. PJ and Tommy began informing everyone, and I received a lot of hugs and congratulations. I'd never been so happy before in my life. I didn't quite understand what the big deal was at the time, but that was due to my lack of knowledge, but I'm wella aware of it now. Not long after I also learned that night when I talked to my Mom, it was God providing me with the words and strength to speak to my Mom. And I can't thank Him enough for it!!! So, to this day I'm still a strong Christian, coming close to my second year or living the full life. I still attend Xenos Christian Fellowship regularly. Everyday has been a blessing. I've helped bring my good friend Jason to Christ, my friend Zaine out of his own depression, my friend Matthew out of his legalistic mindset, and am currently working to help save four more friends. The Lord has changed me so much, and I am so thankful for this!!! THANK YOU GOD!!! :amen
