- Dec 20, 2019
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Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
I’ve heard many husbands say they experienced feelings of attraction when they met their fierce and feisty wives. It is like being drawn by the beauty and danger of climbing Mount Everest—the climb is filled with breathless anticipation and excitement, but woe to the man who attempts that climb unprepared! The beauty of it all is that God created you to be a fierce woman and wife.
Why is fierceness in women appealing to men? I think they like a challenge. They admire the strength, courage, loyalty, and determination of a fierce woman. They like spunk and passion. A fierce woman doesn’t grovel for their attention and isn’t desperate for a man to meet their deepest needs. Men admire a woman who doesn’t depend solely on them for their identity or happiness.
The truly beautifully fierce woman has an otherworldly strength derived from a source beyond herself. She’s plunged in fully to the forgiveness and love of Christ, and He holds her heart so completely that she’s reached true contentment. Her identity is forged through abiding in Him, and her courage is displayed by her commitment to Him and His cause. He is her driving motivation and propels her by the wind of His Spirit. She is no halfhearted creature but is drinking deeply of Him and experiencing infinite joy.
She is a warrior at heart—not violent or aggressive, but tempered by humility. She’s a soft warrior, fleshing out the beauty of fierceness in her daily life. She loves God and others with sacrificial devotion. This is the kind of fierceness I’m talking about when I say I love to see a fierce woman in action. I strive for this ideal. Check her out in the characteristics below.
God wants us to use these characteristics to fulfill His calling on our lives. I love seeing how the fierce women of Scripture did this. Esther courageously stood ready to perish as she fought for the lives of her people. Deborah led the armies of Israel to victory in spite of fearful Barak. Priscilla, along with her husband, Aquila, once literally “risked her neck” to save Paul’s life (see Romans 16:4); she was bold, courageous, and a diligent student of the Word.
I hope you’re not under the mistaken impression that God created women as some kind of second-class citizens of the kingdom. He loves strong women, and seeing strong women in marriages. We’re His idea.
Before the Fall, before the curse, God created a fierce woman. She was formed as a worthy complement to Adam—the first man. Eve was created to rule with him. God placed His divine imprint on her life. She had His likeness and bore His image. Every woman since is inferior to this mother of all living.
I wish we had more exposure to this pre-Fall Eve. We barely meet her before she runs into trouble, but we know she must have been a specimen beyond compare. God entrusted Adam and Eve with His new creation. He gave this first couple the divine mandate to take dominion over His young earth. Together, they would fill the earth and subdue it. They held dominion over every living thing.
Eve was prepared to stand as his counterpart with courage and resolve. Placing her hand with his in a unity of purpose, held by an indissoluble bond, they ruled over creation together and functioned as one. Her fierce strength was like iron sharpening iron, and her role in his life was powerful.
In Genesis 2, women are given the unique responsibility to use this power by serving as man’s “helper.” When I first learned that women were given the “helper” assignment, I thought, Oh, great. We aren’t good enough to actually be doing something really important—we just get to “help out.” Even the word helper on paper always looked lame to me.
I felt much better when I found out that the Hebrew word that is translated into our English word “helper” is not a wimpy word. It is the word ezer, meaning to aid or provide needed help. In fact, it is the same word used in reference to God as a “help” to His people in several passages (Exodus 18:4; Deuteronomy 33:7,29). That’s when I realized that being my husband’s “helper” was not an insignificant assignment.
God didn’t create women to fill a “no big deal” role. Men and women are created with equal worth and value, given equal access to God, and both live with the purpose of glorifying Him. Neither role is inferior or superior. Each comes with its own challenges, and to serve well in her role, a woman must be fierce. Not destructively fierce but beautifully fierce.
My husband, LeRoy, was sprawled across the floor beside our 25-year-old washing machine. Heavy sighs, groans, and loud banging filled the air. Tools and parts were spread in every direction. The one thing we had come to count on with that washer was a regular cycle of breakdowns.
We were struggling young parents in that season of married life. LeRoy was finishing his degree while working at a low-paying job, and we didn’t have money for a repairman. That meant nights were often spent working on that old washer.
My regular contribution to this evening activity included handing LeRoy a glass of iced tea, sitting on the floor beside him, and conveying the most important message a fierce woman can communicate to her husband: “I’m on your side!”
I’ve been delivering that same message for three decades now. I don’t always voice those exact words, but I’ve learned to express this sentiment through my attitude and supportive actions. Communication is vital to building up your husband.
God assures us that He is “on our side.” In Romans 8:31, the apostle Paul writes, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” And knowing that God is “for us” provides us with courage.
This is the same assurance that a husband needs from his wife. When my husband is under pressure to make a tough decision, when our children need his wise counsel, when things are looking bleak in the bank account, he needs to know that I am on his side—partnering with him through every challenge.
So, how can a wife demonstrate her support for her husband? Here are some ideas:
When I see my husband struggling to find a solution, my biggest temptation as a fierce woman is to jump in and tell him what he needs to do to fix the problem. But when I give him space to think and pray, I convey to him that I have confidence in his ability to grapple with the issue.
Men thrive when they pursue their dreams, and if we aren’t careful, we can squash those dreams. When I throw cold water on my husband’s grand vision, it may prevent him from tackling a pursuit he needs to try. And if he’s making a foolish or risky decision, he’ll be more receptive to a cautionary word from me if I’ve first shown him that I’m on his side.
I want my husband to succeed, but no matter how dedicated or brilliant his efforts, failures will happen. And failures can provide the opportunity for growth. LeRoy needs to have the freedom to fail without fear of my response. And if he does fail, he needs my assurance that the failure doesn’t define him.
A man can courageously press on through life’s obstacles when his wife assures him that she is standing with him and that her love for him will not fail. After all, isn’t that what we verbalized in our marriage vows—our commitment to love and honor our man in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad?
The post God Made You a Fierce Woman and Wife appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...
I’ve heard many husbands say they experienced feelings of attraction when they met their fierce and feisty wives. It is like being drawn by the beauty and danger of climbing Mount Everest—the climb is filled with breathless anticipation and excitement, but woe to the man who attempts that climb unprepared! The beauty of it all is that God created you to be a fierce woman and wife.
Why is fierceness in women appealing to men? I think they like a challenge. They admire the strength, courage, loyalty, and determination of a fierce woman. They like spunk and passion. A fierce woman doesn’t grovel for their attention and isn’t desperate for a man to meet their deepest needs. Men admire a woman who doesn’t depend solely on them for their identity or happiness.
The truly beautifully fierce woman has an otherworldly strength derived from a source beyond herself. She’s plunged in fully to the forgiveness and love of Christ, and He holds her heart so completely that she’s reached true contentment. Her identity is forged through abiding in Him, and her courage is displayed by her commitment to Him and His cause. He is her driving motivation and propels her by the wind of His Spirit. She is no halfhearted creature but is drinking deeply of Him and experiencing infinite joy.
She is a warrior at heart—not violent or aggressive, but tempered by humility. She’s a soft warrior, fleshing out the beauty of fierceness in her daily life. She loves God and others with sacrificial devotion. This is the kind of fierceness I’m talking about when I say I love to see a fierce woman in action. I strive for this ideal. Check her out in the characteristics below.
Characteristics of a beautifully fierce woman:
- Her identity and value are rooted in her relationship with Christ rather than a relationship with a man.
- She’s filled with gratitude for God’s good gifts. Her heart is ruled by the peace of contentment.
- She’s passionate about things that matter rather than living for the trivial.
- She’s willing to battle for a worthy cause rather than shrink in defeat.
- She protects and defends the helpless rather than using her strength to bully others. She is known as a sincere encourager.
- She’s honest but kind.
- She walks in the confidence and humility that flows from her recognition of Christ’s work of grace in her life.
- She has the power to influence and inspire because she lives under the Spirit’s control.
A divine calling
God wants us to use these characteristics to fulfill His calling on our lives. I love seeing how the fierce women of Scripture did this. Esther courageously stood ready to perish as she fought for the lives of her people. Deborah led the armies of Israel to victory in spite of fearful Barak. Priscilla, along with her husband, Aquila, once literally “risked her neck” to save Paul’s life (see Romans 16:4); she was bold, courageous, and a diligent student of the Word.
I hope you’re not under the mistaken impression that God created women as some kind of second-class citizens of the kingdom. He loves strong women, and seeing strong women in marriages. We’re His idea.
God created fierce women
Before the Fall, before the curse, God created a fierce woman. She was formed as a worthy complement to Adam—the first man. Eve was created to rule with him. God placed His divine imprint on her life. She had His likeness and bore His image. Every woman since is inferior to this mother of all living.
I wish we had more exposure to this pre-Fall Eve. We barely meet her before she runs into trouble, but we know she must have been a specimen beyond compare. God entrusted Adam and Eve with His new creation. He gave this first couple the divine mandate to take dominion over His young earth. Together, they would fill the earth and subdue it. They held dominion over every living thing.
Eve was prepared to stand as his counterpart with courage and resolve. Placing her hand with his in a unity of purpose, held by an indissoluble bond, they ruled over creation together and functioned as one. Her fierce strength was like iron sharpening iron, and her role in his life was powerful.
Being a fierce wife
In Genesis 2, women are given the unique responsibility to use this power by serving as man’s “helper.” When I first learned that women were given the “helper” assignment, I thought, Oh, great. We aren’t good enough to actually be doing something really important—we just get to “help out.” Even the word helper on paper always looked lame to me.
I felt much better when I found out that the Hebrew word that is translated into our English word “helper” is not a wimpy word. It is the word ezer, meaning to aid or provide needed help. In fact, it is the same word used in reference to God as a “help” to His people in several passages (Exodus 18:4; Deuteronomy 33:7,29). That’s when I realized that being my husband’s “helper” was not an insignificant assignment.
God didn’t create women to fill a “no big deal” role. Men and women are created with equal worth and value, given equal access to God, and both live with the purpose of glorifying Him. Neither role is inferior or superior. Each comes with its own challenges, and to serve well in her role, a woman must be fierce. Not destructively fierce but beautifully fierce.
A fierce wife’s most important message
My husband, LeRoy, was sprawled across the floor beside our 25-year-old washing machine. Heavy sighs, groans, and loud banging filled the air. Tools and parts were spread in every direction. The one thing we had come to count on with that washer was a regular cycle of breakdowns.
We were struggling young parents in that season of married life. LeRoy was finishing his degree while working at a low-paying job, and we didn’t have money for a repairman. That meant nights were often spent working on that old washer.
My regular contribution to this evening activity included handing LeRoy a glass of iced tea, sitting on the floor beside him, and conveying the most important message a fierce woman can communicate to her husband: “I’m on your side!”
I’ve been delivering that same message for three decades now. I don’t always voice those exact words, but I’ve learned to express this sentiment through my attitude and supportive actions. Communication is vital to building up your husband.
A fierce wife is on her husband’s side
God assures us that He is “on our side.” In Romans 8:31, the apostle Paul writes, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” And knowing that God is “for us” provides us with courage.
This is the same assurance that a husband needs from his wife. When my husband is under pressure to make a tough decision, when our children need his wise counsel, when things are looking bleak in the bank account, he needs to know that I am on his side—partnering with him through every challenge.
Ways a fierce woman can demonstrate support for her husband
So, how can a wife demonstrate her support for her husband? Here are some ideas:
Respect his need for space
When I see my husband struggling to find a solution, my biggest temptation as a fierce woman is to jump in and tell him what he needs to do to fix the problem. But when I give him space to think and pray, I convey to him that I have confidence in his ability to grapple with the issue.
Partner with him in his dreams
Men thrive when they pursue their dreams, and if we aren’t careful, we can squash those dreams. When I throw cold water on my husband’s grand vision, it may prevent him from tackling a pursuit he needs to try. And if he’s making a foolish or risky decision, he’ll be more receptive to a cautionary word from me if I’ve first shown him that I’m on his side.
Give him room to fail
I want my husband to succeed, but no matter how dedicated or brilliant his efforts, failures will happen. And failures can provide the opportunity for growth. LeRoy needs to have the freedom to fail without fear of my response. And if he does fail, he needs my assurance that the failure doesn’t define him.
A man can courageously press on through life’s obstacles when his wife assures him that she is standing with him and that her love for him will not fail. After all, isn’t that what we verbalized in our marriage vows—our commitment to love and honor our man in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad?
The post God Made You a Fierce Woman and Wife appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...