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Happy anniversary

Wrg1405

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Tomorrow my wife and I celebrate 22 years of being married.

Before I met my wife I was engaged,to another girl. I proposed even knowing that I didn't want to marry her.

One day I was sat in church and my mind thoughts were "ok we will marry, get divorced and share the kids, I'll get to see them at the weekend"

All of sudden I got severe anxiety, it was like a million butterflies were released in my stomach. I could not even look at her, I wanted to break it of straight away. Pastors in the church came alongside the same day and asked me not to break it off (they had no ideas of my thoughts)

I broke the engagement anyway.

That severe anxiety stopped me from forming a relationship whether it be with a potential girlfriend and others. If I tried to form a relationship with a potential girlfriend and she said yes then my emotions went haywire and I backed off. The minute they said yes, I was off.

For some reason that severe anxiety still plagues me today but it doesn't seem to be for the same reason.

Tomorrow I celebrate 22 years of marriage to the most amazing woman on this earth. When we started to court I broke it off because of the anxiety. I couldn't cope with. I was nasty to her, not because I'm nasty as a person but I wanted her to hate me.

Praise God we are now married. My nastiness was to deter her from loving me because let's be honest I'm not a nice person and I could have not done to her what I had thought what I would do to my previous fiancé.

After we broke up God amazingly bought around circumstances that bought us back together. I loved her so deeply but I didn't want to leave her and kids destitute. That was my experience in life, four dads. The pain and the hurt.

God revealed to me this is your wife of my choice, I know who you need and I know who she needs. Then he said I've given you a love for her (because I didn't want to leave and our kids) I broke through the barriers.

In fact God had revealed to my wife that I was to be her husband even though we had only talked a couple of times in church (only found that out after we got married)

So tomorrow we celebrate 22 years. I have loved her and cherished her all these years. We have 4 kids. I would never leave them. I'm looking at my wife now as she is on her iPad and trying not to get tearful. She is so beautiful.

So I would like to finish with the truth that God will work good in all circumstances.
Husbands cherish your wife, love them with all your heart.

Finally, thank your Tori Gillan for being my wife, thank you for loving me, you are an amazing wife, an amazing mother. Love you
 
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