... how to rekindle relationship with parents

[addonai]

So... God has been faithful to me !
And actually heard my cries for prayer, and got me a job, I'm sooo thankful for money it will provide for these months (will work 6 months), because internship in my field career (coding), yet starts in january 2025.
Job is not that demanding, I'm thankful, it's boring and repetitive, but it looks like God made it so there are more workers so I don't have to rush that much, and I work just 5 days in week (2 free), which is amazing in itself !!

And, with this me earning money, I feel sooo guilty, for feeling so much angst towards parents, toward God, everyone.. and avoided everything, and sat in room, and just being isolated, in my world..

I talk with parents now, I think we respect each other much better. When I had to tell them to stop being pessimistic (complaining or "joking" they can't wait to die. that's toxic talk, it brings energy down, and doesn't allow anyone to cherish good moments, but they focus on negative talk.. which makes me despise them).


But I feel like, I need to find some church community to really feel at home. I will probably have to go in church of another denomination, just for sake of meeting friends and having fellowship with them, and feel God's presence. As I've seen, worldly woman is not what would satisfy me at all, neither worldly pleasures are pleasurable.

This is new chapter in my life now. First week in, job. And I need to get used to new routine. To learn to be of independent spirit.

But, I don't know what to pray anymore. That's why, I think, I need church, I need community. I need to be vulnerable with someone, and if they brush it off, then, why it matters, if they're gonna reject me anyways.

My father and mother, they are tired, I don't want them to die, I don't want them to be sick... I know importance of not giving up on this job now. I can't give up now anymore. I've told myself. I don't want to stress my father or mother, they're sick, and older.
I don't know if God forgives me for words and thoughts I had when I was angry, because me myself was in pain due to desperation of lack of any money at all.

 

[Padre Pio]

Congratulations for the job!

I understand how you must feel when you hear your parents talk about their death. I also don't like it when my mom talks about her death, it really takes away all the positivity that I accumulated the entire week... The solution to this could be to communicate with your parents how you feel.

 

[addonai]

Congratulations for the job!

I understand how you must feel when you hear your parents talk about their death. I also don't like it when my mom talks about her death, it really takes away all the positivity that I accumulated the entire week... The solution to this could be to communicate with your parents how you feel.

I wish I can just hug them, bear hug them, thank them for all their sacrifices for us and probably allow myself to cry on their shoulders.
That would really unburden me.

But I don't know how to do it. Because it will break my character...

I still want to be independent, my own person...


I cried once and told them my pain. But I wish I can do that same, but for saying how much thankful I am, they are okay and still here. And that God still care for us.

 

[Padre Pio]

But I don't know how to do it. Because it will break my character...

It will break your character? So what? It doesn't matter if it breaks your character... Do it because you still can now, we never know when is the last time we see someone.

If I could go back in time I would drown my grandmother with love even if it didn't match my character.

God bless you!

 

[addonai]

It will break your character? So what? It doesn't matter if it breaks your character... Do it because you still can now, we never know when is the last time we see someone.

If I could go back in time I would drown my grandmother with love even if it didn't match my character.

God bless you!

right.
I think best way to handle this, is to buy them some cute plushy toy as gift, and use that opportunity to thank them for their sacrifices for us.

 

[Who Me]

right.
I think best way to handle this, is to buy them some cute plushy toy as gift, and use that opportunity to thank them for their sacrifices for us.

Why not get something they like or can use, rather than a cute gimmick.
That would indicate that you were being serious and practical.

That and a straight forward statement fro yourself about being sorry for your past attitude towards them.

 

[addonai]

well. I'm really a mess. Now, I hate them.
It's because of all limitations that they made. And I'm limited due from them.

I can't get a girlfriend even if I wanted ! Because I can't because of them. To impress a girl, by what ? Lack of money, bad teeth, because nobody cared enough for me to fix me at all.

I'm fixing myself. And nobody else fixes me. They don't even want to.


Now I'm serious in job, and don't crack any joke anymore. No more. No.

 

[addonai]

I just can't win.
It's for the best, once they are gone forever.

Why should I regred them ? Regret not saying "thank you" ?
While they spectacularly did super lazx parenting and left my life handicaped due to that. That they're incapable of doing job as parent at all.

 

[Who Me]

well. I'm really a mess. Now, I hate them.
It's because of all limitations that they made. And I'm limited due from them.

I can't get a girlfriend even if I wanted ! Because I can't because of them. To impress a girl, by what ? Lack of money, bad teeth, because nobody cared enough for me to fix me at all.

I'm fixing myself. And nobody else fixes me. They don't even want to.


Now I'm serious in job, and don't crack any joke anymore. No more. No.

Yet you are making a go of life. Your parents may not be a help, yet you owe them respect even if they are useless as parents.

Now you're in work you can start getting your teeth etc sorted out.
You don't want a girl whose impressed by superficial things, but one who can see the potential in you and will help you develop that potential.

How do you find such a girl ?

As you work on your own flaws and work in church, you'll encounter girls who will see your potential, they will be willing to socialise with you.

Study 2hat the bible says about men and husbands so you can grow that way.
But also study what it says about women, wives and mothers so you can learn to recognise those qualities in the girls you meet.