If you aren't confident to be a good breadwinner, don't have kids

[humble soul]

Or you could say;
Don't get married if you aren't confident of earning a good income.
Well this philosophy or attitude would surely stop 50% of marriages...in reality.....
I was having this discussion with a friend of mine. Him married with 2 kids. Me married with none. We both suggested that we weren't entitled to be married, given our track record of being poor breadwinners. He is a Muslim ( not a serious one at all). but during covid lockdown, he lost hours and struggled to put food on the table and pay rent. They had no meat or chicken or meat for a month. Only lentils. I was shocked when he told me.

 

[crossnote]

And if you are about to have a kid, but are not a good breadwinner, for land sakes don't even ponder an abortion.

 

[Edward]

Or you could say;
Don't get married if you aren't confident of earning a good income.
Well this philosophy or attitude would surely stop 50% of marriages...in reality.....
I was having this discussion with a friend of mine. Him married with 2 kids. Me married with none. We both suggested that we weren't entitled to be married, given our track record of being poor breadwinners. He is a Muslim ( not a serious one at all). but during covid lockdown, he lost hours and struggled to put food on the table and pay rent. They had no meat or chicken or meat for a month. Only lentils. I was shocked when he told me.

On Lentils for a month so he shouldn't be married or have kids? Lol. Isn't that sort of a defeatist or victim philosophy? I can't agree with that one bit. Things have a way of working out, they always do. The hard times in life do two things for us. Make us cry out to God for help (!!) and to get smarter or more creative to come up with ideas.

Youth is wasted on the young because A man don't really develop a work ethic and serious skills until around age 30 or so? So the young family is kind of stumbling around in the dark until daddy gets situated on skills and situation.

When my young wife made me move us all down to Florida so she could be near her parents and siblings I had to take a $3 hr pay cut to get a job down there. In the late 80's it was already expensive to live there and especially so for a young mostly unskilled man with 2 toddlers and a wife. We lasted for almost a year. I remember some nights for dinner we would have...french fries, mashed potatoes and either fried potatoes or potato soup and there was a local waterway thing that I used to go get a mess of panfish too sometimes.

Yeah we had to move, but things picked up, I learned, she helped. We didn't miss any meals but did struggle sometimes. But that's life. and a horrible reason to not get married or have kids.!

It can't be about the money. Money and a job and all that is a means to an end. The goal is wife and family, be fruitful and multiply! That takes money. But money isn't the end all goal. The day starts when Daddy gets off of work.

In my mind, these tough times do not create a necessity for the wife to work and help pay bills. That's the man's station. Wives already have plenty of work to do at home cleaning, cooking, raising the little ones, that's their station in life. To back off of having family because of money fears is...missing the point.

So sometimes we have to do without or with very little. It builds character lol. It keeps us clinging to God! It occurs to me that there is a significant security that comes with poverty. Spiritual security. Poor folks cling to the Lord more than rich folks.

God didn't have a problem keeping all those Israelite's fed. He just rained manna down for them. But...they complained. ...oh God, Lentils again?! We want some meat!...that made God angry at them if I remember right. We have to know how to be at peace in any situation, and be thankful to God. Besides, what's wrong with Lentils? They're good.

 

[humble soul]

On Lentils for a month so he shouldn't be married or have kids? Lol. Isn't that sort of a defeatist or victim philosophy? I can't agree with that one bit. Things have a way of working out, they always do. The hard times in life do two things for us. Make us cry out to God for help (!!) and to get smarter or more creative to come up with ideas.

Youth is wasted on the young because A man don't really develop a work ethic and serious skills until around age 30 or so? So the young family is kind of stumbling around in the dark until daddy gets situated on skills and situation.

When my young wife made me move us all down to Florida so she could be near her parents and siblings I had to take a $3 hr pay cut to get a job down there. In the late 80's it was already expensive to live there and especially so for a young mostly unskilled man with 2 toddlers and a wife. We lasted for almost a year. I remember some nights for dinner we would have...french fries, mashed potatoes and either fried potatoes or potato soup and there was a local waterway thing that I used to go get a mess of panfish too sometimes.

Yeah we had to move, but things picked up, I learned, she helped. We didn't miss any meals but did struggle sometimes. But that's life. and a horrible reason to not get married or have kids.!

It can't be about the money. Money and a job and all that is a means to an end. The goal is wife and family, be fruitful and multiply! That takes money. But money isn't the end all goal. The day starts when Daddy gets off of work.

In my mind, these tough times do not create a necessity for the wife to work and help pay bills. That's the man's station. Wives already have plenty of work to do at home cleaning, cooking, raising the little ones, that's their station in life. To back off of having family because of money fears is...missing the point.

So sometimes we have to do without or with very little. It builds character lol. It keeps us clinging to God! It occurs to me that there is a significant security that comes with poverty. Spiritual security. Poor folks cling to the Lord more than rich folks.

God didn't have a problem keeping all those Israelite's fed. He just rained manna down for them. But...they complained. ...oh God, Lentils again?! We want some meat!...that made God angry at them if I remember right. We have to know how to be at peace in any situation, and be thankful to God. Besides, what's wrong with Lentils? They're good.

Yeah he's a bit fat anyway. He needed to lose weight. ?

 

[Corn Pop]

On Lentils for a month so he shouldn't be married or have kids? Lol. Isn't that sort of a defeatist or victim philosophy? I can't agree with that one bit.

Lentils are apparently a good source of protein, fibre, iron, and more, and there is many different recipes. I have dipped many breads in a lentil dish and it's always been tasty and I have always felt like I have had a meal.

 

[humble soul]

Lentils are apparently a good source of protein, fibre, iron, and more, and there is many different recipes. I have dipped many breads in a lentil dish and it's always been tasty and I have always felt like I have had a meal.

Cheaper too

 

[Tessa]

I love lentils. You can make so many different things with them. Soup, stew, burgers, loaves etc They are very nutritious.

 

[Who Me]

Don't get married if you aren't confident of earning a good income.
Well this philosophy or attitude would surely stop 50% of marriages..

Today far more people just live together, both Christian and non Christian.

None of us know what will happen to our job, to what we hope will be a career!

Those who marry do so in hope and the ambition of living together for life and in raising a family.

What ever the economics, socially, spiritually and educationally children always do better if raised by both parents.

 

[JohnDB]

There's always times when the economy is slow.
Things get lean.
And that's the times that can be the most rewarding to everyone. It can draw a family closer together. Especially when you are doing everything possible to earn an income and have a clean conscience about it all.

Tough times build character... cement solid relationships even harder.
I've worn out pavement looking for work. Willing to do anything to earn a living. Wife doing the same.
We have had some "poor meals" because of it. My wife loves those times too. We worked hard together to get through them.
It's ok to be poor when it's honest and not because of vice (gambling, drinking, drugs or avarice)
And I like lentils too...green, pink, and brown.

 

[JohnDB]

But...they complained. ...oh God, Lentils again?! We want some meat!...that made God angry at them if I remember righ

Actually it was them catching too many birds and trying to preserve the meat that got God upset....as if God wouldn't send more.

 

[Edward]

Actually it was them catching too many birds and trying to preserve the meat that got God upset....as if God wouldn't send more.

It's been awhile since I read that, but I do remember that the Lord does not like murmuring and...didn't He stop the manna and let them eat birds until they were sick of them? I think so.

But I know that life is like a roller coaster. There are days of plenty and days of not a lot. So I just praise the Lord for what I have today, and keep the faith that the Lord will continue to feed us and care for us.

 

[humble soul]

I joked with my Muslim friend..." You having an early Ramadan?"...( in reality he doesn't observe any Muslim customs)

 

[humble soul]

That famous Indian food (curry?) Dahl.....I need to eat that more

 

[crossnote]

Lately there's been a push to move from eating meat to insects.
If it crawls, I won't eat it.

Steak made from insect meat? Yum!

The meat industry is a major contributor to climate pollution. One scientist has a buggy idea for how to change that.

www.popsci.com

 

[humble soul]

Can you eat lentils everyday for a month though?
Hey kids...it's lentils again tonight!

 

[crossnote]

Can you eat lentils everyday for a month though?
Hey kids...it's lentils again tonight!

Ummm, are there any Snicker bars left?

 

[Luminous_Rose]

Sometimes we all have rough times - with or without kids. Either way, I don't think I've ever tried lentils...but I know how monotonous it gets to eat the same exact thing every day or for every meal for a while...not fun. Each time you eat it, it actually becomes harder and harder for your brain to accept it as a meal. The brain needs variation...maybe it's to protect us from nutritional deficiencies.

 

[Edward]

Sometimes we all have rough times - with or without kids. Either way, I don't think I've ever tried lentils...but I know how monotonous it gets to eat the same exact thing every day or for every meal for a while...not fun. Each time you eat it, it actually becomes harder and harder for your brain to accept it as a meal. The brain needs variation...maybe it's to protect us from nutritional deficiencies.

You are correct in what you say. The desires of our flesh body concerning variation of food is a very strong voice within us. Indeed, hunger may be one of our most powerful temptations set upon us. It is perhaps one of the easiest temptations to justify for ourselves because, hey, we need to eat and drink, right? But we must remember our instructions in such matters and continue in the faith of our Lord. And bring our flesh into subjection to our own spirit, and unto God. Remember?

Matthew 6:25-26
25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?../

But when we try to do this, to care not about what we will eat, or when we think about denying our flesh with a fast, that's when our flesh begins to scream about keeping our strength up, nutritional deficiencies, and all that. And it is true for those who live in the flesh (!) but denying our flesh is how we bring it into subjection. So what's a soul to do? I don't want to die of hunger or become anemic or have no energy to do what I need to do....

Oh yeah, that's in scripture too! I'm reminded about Lazarus and the rich man now. That story lets us know that, the more we cater to ourselves and flesh while in this body, the less nice that it will be for us later on, and the less we care about our flesh, the more nicer it will be for us later on. Besides, we know that He will take care of us.

1 Kings 19

5 And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise and eat.

6 And he looked, and, behold, there was a cake baken on the coals, and a cruse of water at his head. And he did eat and drink, and laid him down again.

7 And the angel of the Lord came again the second time, and touched him, and said, Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee.

8 And he arose, and did eat and drink, and went in the strength of that meat forty days and forty nights unto Horeb the mount of God.../

In that story, Elijah was busy (making a mistake by running from Jezebel) and even while not doing right, the Lord sent an Angel to care for him. The Angel brought him bread and water! Not exactly a steak and potatoes meal with wine afterwards, lol. But! We see that on the nutritional intake of these two meals Elijah was able to go 40 days and nights! Whoa! No nutritional deficiencies there! He got by fine on that. Other times the Lord has fed His people by raining down Manna for them, had the Ravens bring meat to them, multiplied existing food to feed more or to not run out...

You see? We don't have to worry about this. And when we do that, we crucify our flesh and live through our spirit instead of our flesh! I am learning how that when we deny our flesh in this way it brings the flesh into subjection to the spirit which is right. Oh, the flesh will scream and shout for sure and make a good case for how I "should cater to my flesh a little more..."But I've also learned that I can tell him to shut up, and I'm getting somewhat better at it, lol!

If bread and water was good enough for Elijah then it's good enough for me so I don't worry about it. Some days it's beans, some days it is steak. I just take it as it comes and praise the Lord for whatever the day brings.

 

[Corn Pop]

I joked with my Muslim friend..." You having an early Ramadan?"...( in reality he doesn't observe any Muslim customs)

Ramadan is more a feast rather than a fast.

Ramadan usually involves binge eating in the early morning, then basically sleeping or doing nothing all day, then binge eating again at night to be seen by men that they are fasting.