[__ Prayer __] I'm Addicted...Prayer Request

[Daisy]

Hi, I am new to the site...and basically have found myself at a dead end with my addiction. This is very hard for me to admit...and I honestly thought it would be easier to go online and find help, but even this step seems very hard. I haven't found the courage to confess this to my christian sisters and brothers in Christ...but I have this aching need to release this and get help some how. I do pray to God but I feel so lost and consumed with my form of addiction that I feel so far from God. My prayers don't seem genuine and I feel empty.

You are probably wondering what my addiction is. Well my addiction is masturbation...But not to pornography but to relief stress and anxiety. Given that I am stressed majority of the day, I find myself engaging in this disgusting before a majority of my day. It stops me from completing necessary tasks and being productive. I feel enslaved by it. the word enslaved truly captures how lost I feel. This problem started 1 yr and a half ago when I had yet to find christ. Our relationship was at a dead end as he constantly looked at other women and even friends of mine to please himself. I started escaping the pain it cased by trying to be thrilled by it instead. Given that I didnt find myself attractive but repulsive, I couldnt ever find sexual fulfillment or worthiness because I loathed myself. I didnt feel good enough for my husband and this implicated itself in my overall life. So when I started the addictive behaviors, I began doing them in spite of myself. This sounds so twisted which is why i havent told anyone, but i started engaging in those behaviors and had thoughts of self hate with thoughts of glorification of others. with thoughts of my husband enjoying other women instead...and this lead to an anxiety inducing behavior. Everytime I saw him looking at someone else I would quench the pain my engaging in the act and telling myself to like the those thoughts of him enjoying others instead...


What resulted eventualyl was that God saved my relationship, and my now husband. He completely changed his was and repented...God has truly worked in him in ways that leave me amazed at what God can do...but I STILL find myself battling this. I feel trapped...I feel enslaved. I need help , guidance, someone who will not judge me but instead hold my hand through this valley..please pray for me...thank you...

 

[Eugene]

Dear Sister Daisy, welcome to our Christian fellowship. There are clichés such as we are what we eat, think on, or just plain enjoy. Change requires wanting something more than what we are addicted to. For instance I was hooked on cigarettes for years, couldn’t seem to stop, and finally switched to Copenhagen to help me get off cigarettes. Wow, that was way better as I was absorbing ten times the nicotine I imagine; I didn’t spit. Well now I’ll just quit the Copenhagen now that I no longer smoke; sounds like a plan don’t it? I thought I was going to die with the shakes, and all manner of pain in my body so much that I went back to cigarettes to get off Copenhagen.

Well that didn’t work, so let me pray, go cold turkey, eat lots of mints or anything else to keep my mind off the cigarettes; somehow there’s got to be a better way. I think what worked for me was involving myself in sports programs, exercise, reading my bible, and involving myself in fellowship with those who didn’t smoke. In other words, change what you’re doing, and become adsorbed with new activities. You may also want to consult your doctor to make sure you don't have a glandular or other problem exasperating your feelings of need.

There is a scripture I believe that helps us in that direction and that is Php 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
I will be praying for your deliverance in Jesus’ name.

 

[GrannyJ]

Hi Daisy

Have you thought about going for counselling for the low self esteem that you mentioned? if you clear that up, you may find that a lot of other problems fall into place.

Remember, you are part of God's creation, and all of his creation is beautiful, each in its own special way. Accept that you were made perfect, in the image of God, and ask God's help to become the wonderful you that he designed. You cannot be loathesome and repulsive: God does not make mistakes and he has called you to be his child.

 

[LoveOnDisplayNetwork]

Hello Daisy, I think the victory in your husbands life is something close and real you can grab hold to and acknowledge as God working and moving on your behalf. Any thoughts that come to you making you feel that you can't escape make sure vocally you speak out against them. Not just on the inside. Focus on what you have seen God do for you already and speak out that he wont leave you or forsake you. He will continue with the healing in the lives of you and your husband and your marriage. Take it one day at a time and journal about each and every victory so you can read about them when you're struggling. Have you spoken to your husband about it? If not it would help him understand what you need from him to aid you in the battle. Both of you are in it together as one and God is in front of you winning just for you two. Try to focus on that and the fact that God is always there no matter what you do. He knows everything so when you first felt his love he knew this day would come and he didn't hold back so there's no way he would now. God is with you!

 

[ReginaForbes]

Daisy thank you so much for sharing something so personal.
Here is my prayer for you: Lord, I pray for my sister in Christ, Daisy, that you may free her from her addiction. In Your Holy Name, I pray that you break the chains of bandage that sin has over her life. Lord Jesus, if there be any demonic attachments to this addiction, I pray that You detach them from your beautiful child, Daisy, and grant her total healing in mind, body, and spirit. Heavenly Father, thank You so much for blessing Daisy with the gift of grace and I know You will send the Holy Spirit to guide her and to help her trample over all temptation. Grant her victory, O Lord! Amen.

 

[AirDancer]

Amen, ReginaForbes, amen!