Is there ever such thing as asking for "too much prayer?

[megan1994]

Hi everyone! New to the forum. I joined because I have a question that I can't seem to find any biblical answers to. I'm a college student..I was saved in November 2012.

I have a 'friend' who texts me constantly asking me "please pray for me." I am not talking once a month, or even once a week. I'm talking almost every day. See the thing with our friendship, I feel like it is built just around his problems. We've been friends for about 7 months. He is a Christian also. I don't find it fun to be around him anymore, because all he does is complain. I know other friends who are noticing the same thing.

I'm not sure what to do, as he texts me constantly asking to hang out. I am going through a lot right now, and I've told him I'm not in a place where I can "pour into others" and biblically direct anyone. I can be a listening ear and a good friend, but it seems all he wants to do is act as if I'm his therapist. He's also 4 years older than I am...not that age "matters" because a lot of my friends are a few years older than I am. But I'm a college freshman and he's a senior.

Advice? Do I let this continue? I'm trying to do everything in love as it says in 1 Corinthians 16:13-24, but I'm starting to be easily frustrated/angered. Which I know is wrong.

Help!

 

[farouk]

Hi everyone! New to the forum. I joined because I have a question that I can't seem to find any biblical answers to. I'm a college student..I was saved in November 2012.

I have a 'friend' who texts me constantly asking me "please pray for me." I am not talking once a month, or even once a week. I'm talking almost every day. See the thing with our friendship, I feel like it is built just around his problems. We've been friends for about 7 months. He is a Christian also. I don't find it fun to be around him anymore, because all he does is complain. I know other friends who are noticing the same thing.

I'm not sure what to do, as he texts me constantly asking to hang out. I am going through a lot right now, and I've told him I'm not in a place where I can "pour into others" and biblically direct anyone. I can be a listening ear and a good friend, but it seems all he wants to do is act as if I'm his therapist. He's also 4 years older than I am...not that age "matters" because a lot of my friends are a few years older than I am. But I'm a college freshman and he's a senior.

Advice? Do I let this continue? I'm trying to do everything in love as it says in 1 Corinthians 16:13-24, but I'm starting to be easily frustrated/angered. Which I know is wrong.

Help!

Hi Megan!

Good to see you here.

First of all, we can remember that the Lord Jesus 'ever liveth to make intercession' (Hebrews 7.25) for His people, who depend on His continuous pleading at the right hand of the Father on the basis of His sin atoning work at the Cross.

So technically speaking, 'too much prayer' would be a misnomer. Paul in 1 Thessalonians 5 and Philippians 4, for example, stresses the importance of prayer. Matthew 6 contains the prayer which the Lord taught His disciples. (And so forth.)

However, this fellow, whom you know, might want more from you than prayer. If you have cautious instincts, you may be right to follow those instincts. My suggestion would be that not every text message email of his needs a reply. Then if you see him, saying Hi there! might be in order, but there would be no need to engage him in long conversation if you don't want to.

(Two cents'.)

Blessings.

 

[Atonement]

Greetings and welcome to CF.net megan1994,

I have been where you are and have had those type of friends. From my experience and from some of the great sermons I have heard from many wonderful pastors over the years is that, sometimes for our own faith and walk with God we need to step away from relationships that can bring us down spiritually and emotionally. We are like a sponge, our minds and hearts absorb those around us. If we surround ourselves with people who are constantly negative, guess what? Chances are you also can become a negative person or one who begins to struggle in their walk with Christ. With that being said, yes I think prayer is very powerful and you should continue to pray for your friend daily if possible. And tell your friend how you "really" feel.

I wouldn't stop being his friend all together, but you have to set up boundaries with your friends (all your friends). Some friends you can tell them anything and talk about anything, other friends you have to be more closed off with and while other friends you can tell them your deepest thoughts and know they wouldn't judge you by them. Friends come in many different forms, this friendship it seems that he is turning to you to be his rock because he sees something about you - that's admirable. However, if it's coming to the point where you are getting angry with him or frustrated then it's time that you take a friendly break.

Hope this helps, maybe others will come and weigh in on this, who may also give you some good advise. If you need to speak more privately to other women about this, you can join the Ladies Locker Room, and speak to some beautiful mature women in the faith..

God Bless
again welcome to the forums

 

[Rollo Tamasi]

Hi Megan, nice to meet you.

Do you have christian activities available to you?
I mean, church services, bible studies, prayers groups, etc.
Do you attend any of them?
As a new christian, these types of activities will build up your faith.
Fill up your free time with these type of activities and invite your friends.
You'll find out who of your friends really want a closer relationship with Jesus.
Those who don't won't bother with you anymore.
Those who do will turn out to be real friends.

I don't think you should feel guilty, that's an attack from the enemy.
Keep focused on Jesus, listen to him in prayer, he will guide you.
Trust in him.

 

[Obadiah]

In over 40 years as a Christian I've never had anyone ask me for prayer that often. Not even people who were dying! It's probably not helping him to keep allowing him to do this. Praying for each other and asking for prayer at certain times is what we are supposed to do. But we are also supposed to learn to rely on the Lord to hear OUR prayers directly and not become so dependent on another person to take care of that for us. It's hard not to think this is a sign in him of his own lack of faith in God to answer his prayers, so he relies on you. What he needs to do is start praying in faith for himself so that when he sees the answer to those prayers he will learn that it is his faith that has brought the answer. By continuing to do this for him, you may be enabling him to continue on in a relatively faithless relationship with the Lord.

If I were in your place, I think I would try teaching him about how to pray to God directly and about having faith. That's probably better then refusing to pray for him, and it might be a good opportunity for you, as a relatively new Christian, to study and learn more about faith and prayer yourself.

 

[farouk]

In over 40 years as a Christian I've never had anyone ask me for prayer that often. Not even people who were dying! It's probably not helping him to keep allowing him to do this. Praying for each other and asking for prayer at certain times is what we are supposed to do. But we are also supposed to learn to rely on the Lord to hear OUR prayers directly and not become so dependent on another person to take care of that for us. It's hard not to think this is a sign in him of his own lack of faith in God to answer his prayers, so he relies on you. What he needs to do is start praying in faith for himself so that when he sees the answer to those prayers he will learn that it is his faith that has brought the answer. By continuing to do this for him, you may be enabling him to continue on in a relatively faithless relationship with the Lord.

If I were in your place, I think I would try teaching him about how to pray to God directly and about having faith. That's probably better then refusing to pray for him, and it might be a good opportunity for you, as a relatively new Christian, to study and learn more about faith and prayer yourself.

Obadiah:

Yes, it is unusual, like you say. I wonder even if prayer is the primary reason for his communications to [MENTION=96672]megan1994[/MENTION].
Blesisngs.

 

[Atonement]

Yes, it is unusual, like you say. I wonder even if prayer is the primary reason for his communications to @megan1994 .
Blesisngs.

I had the same thoughts..

 

[Obadiah]

Obadiah: Yes, it is unusual, like you say. I wonder even if prayer is the primary reason for his communications to @megan1994 . Blesisngs.

Well, yeah, I had the same thought as you too. Just didn't mention it since you already had.

I was just thinking too about how this can be a real problem with text messages, emails, and so much other typed communications these days. Most of the meaning of the message is lost when the non-verbal communication is lost in print. Things like body language and tone of voice say a lot more about what a person really means than do their words. Especially with well thought out words that may have been carefully typed and edited until they come across just the way you want them to be perceived, but not necessarily truthfully. The amount of communication lost in printed messages is tremendous, and people who have never experienced the true art of non-verbal communication have no idea what they are missing!

 

[Brother Mike]

When someone ask me to pray for them. I tell them no I will not. I don't just take prayer request as there is really no scripture backing up asking for personal prayer request. Paul said pray that the Word will have free course. That would be for the Word sake in getting the gospel out.

What I tell them instead is that I will agree with them on a scripture they are standing on. If two touch and agree, it's done. If they are not standing on the Word, then I help them find some to stand on if needed. This makes them have a foundation for asking God something they now see in His Word.

If someone ask to pray for something specific with scripture backing, I will if led agree and believe with them on that.

If someone ask for prayer concerning the Will of God, such as His word have a free course then I may do that.

I normally ask if I can pray for someone, so I have entrance and permission from them over the enemy. I will pray for someone on my own if the Lord brings them up.

This is the best way to handle everyone wanting prayer for who knows what. Make them take it serious, make them go find some scriptures or help them find their scriptures.

Mike.

 

[Eugene]

Hi Megan and welcome to CF.net. Am I assuming wrongly that you are female and him male? Ever ran into guys with no talent for conversation that want to be around you, and they have every dumb line going? I reckon you can rejoice that he isn't setting fires so as to have you recuing him.

When everything is directed at someone, a bad infection of narcissism comes to mind. Crying and tantrums in children produce similar attention from their parents: tell him to grow up? Now if you tell me he is quadriplegic, has no support failsafe button, and you constantly see him falling off chairs someone lifted him to, I'm sure going to feel bad about the lack of seriousness I've taken here. Wait, I'm safe; you said he texts.

There is also the axiom that women have a natural tendency to maternal instincts, and he may be thinking you'll want to fix all his problems.

Of course we're told in 1 Timothy 2:1, "I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men," and by your testimony you seem to at least do that for your friends.

 

[farouk]

Well, Paul did say: 'Brethren, pray for us' (1 Thessalonians 5.25).

But I'm not sure whether this is a similar case here with [MENTION=96672]megan1994[/MENTION]'s friend.

 

[Sparkey]

I think you have good replies so far.

I agree. There are some very insightful thoughts that have been given here. In general, and as I've been taught, men do well to seek spiritual advice from older men. Same for women (but not from older men - lol). There was one time when I crossed that boundary willingly at the request of a sister. She worked in the same company (a large insurance company) as I did and we became friends united in Christ even over distance. She was beginning a series of classes that sought to teach her and others how to best serve the Lord. Her prayer request came at the suggestion of the Minister who taught the class and I was honored by her thought of me as one of the prayer partners she chose. She asked me to commit at the beginning to lift her in prayer daily.

That was it.

Nothing else.

The Lord strengthened me in prayer and yes, I was held faithful to my agreement.

We have since lost touch but my prayer rises again today for my sister, one Elizabeth Padillia, a daughter of God.