Ubu said:
Thanks Sparrowhawke,
I recently got baptised as a Christian, when I got laid off, I started spending more time with God. By his grace I have survived these last few months. I now rely on him for everything. I still feel bitter about one or two issues, mainly that I feel alone when in financial trouble and I get this impression that I am only useful and loveable when I pay my bills and have money to spend. I am also feeling drained in strength and ability to do something productive. Sometimes I ask GOD what my purpose in life is? I only wish I had one. If I can't plan then I have failed as a father and husband. I try hard to define my purpose in life, first as a Christian, then as a responsible member of the society. I only hope that I can leave some sort of positive legacy for my children to build on, as my parents did for me.
I find it easier discussing with total strangers rather than closed relatives, thus I ended up with this forum.
Welcome to the forums!
I know exactly how you feel about the feeling useless. I was recently diagnosed with a form of MD, a neuro- muscular disease. After the diagnosis my health has gone down hill steadily to the point I had to quit working. I have felt the same thing, I feel like I'm useless and all the stuff that goes with it. I also ask God daily what the point of my life is. I've been going through this for a few years now so I hope you don't mind me sharing some things that got me through.
1) What our impression is of ourselves, or what we think other's think about us, usually doesn't reflect truth. As men we take our identities from what we do. Men tag their jobs on themselves as their identity. When meeting new people a frequently asked question is "what do you do?" But it isn't our identity, our identity as christians is now in Christ. Remind yourself of that. Your more then the job contribution to your family. They don't see you as an IT analyst, they see you.
2) Not having a job does complicate things financially, that causes stress for everyone. So remember that when dealing with your family. More in the matter of taking it with a measure of grace. Tempers might rise, yelling may ensue, but take the time out and remember its the situation talking not your wife and not you, separate yourself from the situation and let the anger calm for everyone. Remember your wife may yell at stuff, but she's as frustrated at the situation as you.
3) At all times strive to maintain the faith in God. Faith in the fact He has you in His hands, Faith that He WILL meet your needs. Faith that He loves you more then you can understand. This situation has nothing to do with how God feels about you, its the simple fact that God teaches us in times like this. God is molding you into something better.
I went over 6 months with no pay at all, no ability to do the simple things like walk or things others take for granted. And in that time, god met my needs every time at the right time. Hardest thing I've been through in my life and many ways still going through, but I wouldn't give up the things I learned through it for any reason. They are gems, things that will change the way you see life for the better, if you let them.
Lastly I'd only say remember the good things you do have. Trust me it could be worse. I worked in IT as a senior System admin for a large IT company for 10 years prior to this. I loathed my job and thought my life couldn't get any worse. Every day was a struggle to get up, I thought I'd do anything to escape it. Then, I was diagnosed. It can get worse. Trust me, it really can. Now I've turned my views around. Life is a blessing, used to think it was a curse of sorts. Life is amazing, even now. Be thankful for every little thing, the ability to walk, to see the sun, to eat and drink without getting sick every time. Friends, church, praise and worship, parks, kids, family, pets. It's all simply amazing. Its worthy of praise to our God. In times like your going through, the tendency is to focus on the bad, don't. Its one of the worst mistakes you could ever do. Trust God, remember the things good and praise worthy.
As for your job, I'd only say this. Do you love doing it? Is it something that you enjoy? If not, find what your heart does love to do, and pursue that with all you can, even if its only small steps. Do what it takes to get there, in my opinion life is to short to pursue what your heart hates to do. God often gives us desires in our heart for things he wants us to do (i.e. an artist loves to paint).
Just my 2 cents.
Give him strong and steady assurance of Your calling for him, of his place in Your kingdom. Let him learn of Your specific purpose in the fellowship of the saints, and grant him close abiding friendship and encouragement within a Bible believeing and living church. 
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