- Dec 20, 2019
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Time away with your spouse is essential. Spending time as a couple away from your mundane responsibilities is also helpful for bringing fresh perspective to a situation, discernment for a topic you are praying about, or simply a more cheerful outlook. Intentional couple time can even improve mental health and is particularly important for expectant parents as they try to capitalize on their last few weeks as a family of two. New parents also benefit from time as a couple to provide a welcome break from sleep deprivation and the challenges of life with a newborn.
Yet many families find that getting away as a couple is not practical – or even possible – in certain seasons. Perhaps you have a nursing infant at home and are not ready to leave for an extended time. Maybe one or the other of you has a health issue and travel is not recommended, or one spouse has a job that doesn’t offer paid vacation. Work schedules that don’t coincide present another challenge. If you never have the same days off, planning any kind of getaway proves challenging. Add to that the rising costs of flights, rental cars, and hotels and it’s no wonder many families feel priced out of travel. Whether it’s childrearing duties, schedules, finances, or health, several circumstances may make it challenging to get away for some focused time together.
However, even if you can’t go away on an extended vacation or hop on a flight for a weekend away, there are ways you can foster relational connection and take a break from your usual routines. Read on for some strategies that may make a getaway more practical along with ideas for meaningful couple time that don’t require any traveling at all.
If the price of flights has you running for the hills, consider choosing a destination that is drivable and taking a road trip instead. You can look for inexpensive hotels, vacation rentals, or quaint bed and breakfasts for lodging options that won’t break the bank. If you and your spouse enjoy camping, this can provide an even more affordable option for accommodations. Since it necessarily limits the distance you can travel depending on how long your getaway will be, road trips are a fabulous way to explore areas of your home state you haven’t yet visited or to check out a neighboring state you’ve been wanting to explore. Although you may only be a few hours from home, the road trip option still allows for getting away from your usual routines and can be a fantastic way to see new scenery, try new activities, or sample some new restaurants.
What if going away overnight isn’t an option? Perhaps life circumstances such as a new baby make overnight getaways impractical. Or maybe overnight accommodations simply aren’t in the budget in this season. If that’s you, a staycation might be the perfect solution. These outings involve fun activities that can be accomplished in a day, including driving time. If you love the outdoors, you could go on a hike, visit your nearest national park, or take a scenic drive to a beautiful lookout point and share a picnic while you watch the sunset. However, if you are more “indoorsy,” you might drive to the nearest big city for the day to enjoy some fine dining, take in a show, and peruse the art museum. If you love thrills, you could find the nearest amusement park and ride roller coasters for the day.
Struggling for ideas? There are many books with day trip ideas based on state or region. And for spontaneous couples, there are even boxes of scratch-off cards with unique activities that won’t take more than a day. So, if you’re open to not knowing exactly what you’re doing until a few minutes before you leave, that might be the best fit for you.
Staycations give you more than a few hours away from your responsibilities, but you don’t have to leave the kids with grandma overnight. Plus, you get to sleep in your own bed at the end of the day, which is a definite win if you’re a tired parent!
If going away even for a day is just not on the docket for now, you can create the feeling of a getaway by shaking up your date night routine. Unique dates still get you out of the house for a few hours to break up the monotony of daily responsibilities. Plus, you get the one-on-one time with your spouse that is so necessary. But by breaking out of the dinner and a movie rut, you breathe new life into your dates – and relationship. Try upping your dating game with some of these fun ideas.
The point is that whatever you choose, the options are nearly limitless for creative dates. These unique activities help you not only get a break from your household routines but your dating routines as well. Changing things up from time to time can prove so helpful for fostering a fun connection. Plus, you’ll have amazing memories to reflect on. Laughing together as you reminisce about the time you burnt your quiche in cooking class and savoring the memory of conquering your mutual fear of heights on a zipline provide fertile ground for continuing to grow your marital bond.
What if even a few hours away for a date night seems impossible? You might be thinking, “This is all well and good, but we are in a season where our _____________ (health, finances, lack of childcare, work schedules, season of life) don’t allow us to even leave the house for a few hours! What about us?” Not to worry! There are still options for couples who can’t sneak away for a date to connect, experience laughter or relaxation, and have fun.
If you are in this situation, you will need to get extra creative, but purposeful couple connection can still happen. One way to think outside the box is not to get hung up on whether it’s just the two of you. If you have children, you may need to include them in your mini getaways. Pop your sleeping baby in a stroller and go on a leisurely walk around the neighborhood with a rule that you won’t talk about work, kids, or “business.” Build your toddlers or young kids a tent with sheets, blankets, and furniture, and have a family sleepover. Once the kids crash, do a devotional book together or watch a movie at your “campsite.” If you have school-age kids, you could take a break from the early chicken nugget dinner alongside them and plan a fancy candlelight dinner after they go to bed.
Another fantastic way to get creative is to flip the context. These kinds of dates help families break out of their routines and embrace being silly while having fun together. You could try dressing up in super fancy clothes but do something casual – like family game night. You could plan a theme dinner, which is not only fun for couples, but if you have kids, enjoyable for the whole family.
For example, on Western night everyone comes to the table in their boots and hats and you serve a homestyle barbecue. (Order in if cooking is part of the break you need!) A baby theme night can also be fun. Serve a baby spinach salad, baby corn, and baby back ribs.
To ramp up the silliness a bit further, if you have littles and still have baby utensils and sippy cups around, use them too! Enjoying a family meal that is just a little goofy can provide great family bonding, and as the two of you clean up, you can reflect on the fun meal or get in some sweet conversation time over the dishes. Even changing the time of day that things normally happen can be a wonderful way to shake things up. Have breakfast for dinner with everyone in pajamas. Hey, the kids will be ready for bed nice and early this way. Regardless of what you choose, rest assured that staying at home or being with your kids doesn’t have to prevent couple connection.
In reality, getting away together is as much about perspective as anything else. As long as you are willing to think creatively, there are almost endless ways to set the reality of everyday life aside for a time and focus on each other. More importantly, as believers, taking breaks from the frenetic pace of our busy lives for rest and renewal is a beautiful way to honor God and follow Christ’s example.
While the Bible doesn’t specifically discuss vacations or date nights, Scripture is clear that taking time away from our usual activities and routines is essential for not just physical and relational health, but for spiritual renewal as well. We are designed for the rhythm of life to be punctuated by rest. God Himself rested after creating the heavens and the Earth. Psalm 23 notes that God “refreshes” our souls. Solomon writes that “there is nothing better for people than to be happy….and find satisfaction in all their toil” (Ecclesiastes 3:12-13). This scripture reminds us that if you work hard, it is okay to also play hard by taking breaks with your spouse.
Just as Jesus invited the disciples to come to “a quiet place and get some rest.” In Mark 6:31, He calls us to bring Him our burdens. Learn from Him, and “find rest for [our] souls” in Matthew 11:28-29. Prioritizing getaways with your spouse, whether that be a luxury vacation or a movie night under a makeshift living room tent, offers untold benefits and reflects an understanding of the primacy of the marriage relationship as a source of refreshment in both of your lives.
So what are you waiting for? You can start planning your next road trip, staycation, unique date, or theme dinner today. Continue to emphasize to your spouse that you see the importance of taking time for each other. By thinking creatively and gaining inspiration from some of the ideas shared above. And you can show your spouse how much you love them.
The post Marriage Getaways for the Couple Who Can’t Get Away appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...
Time away with your spouse is essential. Spending time as a couple away from your mundane responsibilities is also helpful for bringing fresh perspective to a situation, discernment for a topic you are praying about, or simply a more cheerful outlook. Intentional couple time can even improve mental health and is particularly important for expectant parents as they try to capitalize on their last few weeks as a family of two. New parents also benefit from time as a couple to provide a welcome break from sleep deprivation and the challenges of life with a newborn.
Yet many families find that getting away as a couple is not practical – or even possible – in certain seasons. Perhaps you have a nursing infant at home and are not ready to leave for an extended time. Maybe one or the other of you has a health issue and travel is not recommended, or one spouse has a job that doesn’t offer paid vacation. Work schedules that don’t coincide present another challenge. If you never have the same days off, planning any kind of getaway proves challenging. Add to that the rising costs of flights, rental cars, and hotels and it’s no wonder many families feel priced out of travel. Whether it’s childrearing duties, schedules, finances, or health, several circumstances may make it challenging to get away for some focused time together.
However, even if you can’t go away on an extended vacation or hop on a flight for a weekend away, there are ways you can foster relational connection and take a break from your usual routines. Read on for some strategies that may make a getaway more practical along with ideas for meaningful couple time that don’t require any traveling at all.
Consider a road trip
If the price of flights has you running for the hills, consider choosing a destination that is drivable and taking a road trip instead. You can look for inexpensive hotels, vacation rentals, or quaint bed and breakfasts for lodging options that won’t break the bank. If you and your spouse enjoy camping, this can provide an even more affordable option for accommodations. Since it necessarily limits the distance you can travel depending on how long your getaway will be, road trips are a fabulous way to explore areas of your home state you haven’t yet visited or to check out a neighboring state you’ve been wanting to explore. Although you may only be a few hours from home, the road trip option still allows for getting away from your usual routines and can be a fantastic way to see new scenery, try new activities, or sample some new restaurants.
Staycations
What if going away overnight isn’t an option? Perhaps life circumstances such as a new baby make overnight getaways impractical. Or maybe overnight accommodations simply aren’t in the budget in this season. If that’s you, a staycation might be the perfect solution. These outings involve fun activities that can be accomplished in a day, including driving time. If you love the outdoors, you could go on a hike, visit your nearest national park, or take a scenic drive to a beautiful lookout point and share a picnic while you watch the sunset. However, if you are more “indoorsy,” you might drive to the nearest big city for the day to enjoy some fine dining, take in a show, and peruse the art museum. If you love thrills, you could find the nearest amusement park and ride roller coasters for the day.
Struggling for ideas? There are many books with day trip ideas based on state or region. And for spontaneous couples, there are even boxes of scratch-off cards with unique activities that won’t take more than a day. So, if you’re open to not knowing exactly what you’re doing until a few minutes before you leave, that might be the best fit for you.
Staycations give you more than a few hours away from your responsibilities, but you don’t have to leave the kids with grandma overnight. Plus, you get to sleep in your own bed at the end of the day, which is a definite win if you’re a tired parent!
Unique dates
If going away even for a day is just not on the docket for now, you can create the feeling of a getaway by shaking up your date night routine. Unique dates still get you out of the house for a few hours to break up the monotony of daily responsibilities. Plus, you get the one-on-one time with your spouse that is so necessary. But by breaking out of the dinner and a movie rut, you breathe new life into your dates – and relationship. Try upping your dating game with some of these fun ideas.
- You can each create a scavenger hunt in your town that takes an hour or two to complete and go grab dessert after the final clue is discovered. That’s two dates right there!
- You could develop a skill together by taking dancing lessons or signing up for a class to learn a new language. Or you could take a cooking class and then enjoy eating your creations.
- Join a book club together.
- Need your date to at least feel like a vacation? Find the nearest resort that offers a day pass, reach out to your local community center, or locate a nearby fitness center with a pool that offers guest passes. Then go hang out on lounge chairs sunbathing for a few hours while reading a book and sipping a frosty beverage.
Options are limitless
The point is that whatever you choose, the options are nearly limitless for creative dates. These unique activities help you not only get a break from your household routines but your dating routines as well. Changing things up from time to time can prove so helpful for fostering a fun connection. Plus, you’ll have amazing memories to reflect on. Laughing together as you reminisce about the time you burnt your quiche in cooking class and savoring the memory of conquering your mutual fear of heights on a zipline provide fertile ground for continuing to grow your marital bond.
Stay in, stay close
What if even a few hours away for a date night seems impossible? You might be thinking, “This is all well and good, but we are in a season where our _____________ (health, finances, lack of childcare, work schedules, season of life) don’t allow us to even leave the house for a few hours! What about us?” Not to worry! There are still options for couples who can’t sneak away for a date to connect, experience laughter or relaxation, and have fun.
If you are in this situation, you will need to get extra creative, but purposeful couple connection can still happen. One way to think outside the box is not to get hung up on whether it’s just the two of you. If you have children, you may need to include them in your mini getaways. Pop your sleeping baby in a stroller and go on a leisurely walk around the neighborhood with a rule that you won’t talk about work, kids, or “business.” Build your toddlers or young kids a tent with sheets, blankets, and furniture, and have a family sleepover. Once the kids crash, do a devotional book together or watch a movie at your “campsite.” If you have school-age kids, you could take a break from the early chicken nugget dinner alongside them and plan a fancy candlelight dinner after they go to bed.
Another fantastic way to get creative is to flip the context. These kinds of dates help families break out of their routines and embrace being silly while having fun together. You could try dressing up in super fancy clothes but do something casual – like family game night. You could plan a theme dinner, which is not only fun for couples, but if you have kids, enjoyable for the whole family.
Family theme night
For example, on Western night everyone comes to the table in their boots and hats and you serve a homestyle barbecue. (Order in if cooking is part of the break you need!) A baby theme night can also be fun. Serve a baby spinach salad, baby corn, and baby back ribs.
To ramp up the silliness a bit further, if you have littles and still have baby utensils and sippy cups around, use them too! Enjoying a family meal that is just a little goofy can provide great family bonding, and as the two of you clean up, you can reflect on the fun meal or get in some sweet conversation time over the dishes. Even changing the time of day that things normally happen can be a wonderful way to shake things up. Have breakfast for dinner with everyone in pajamas. Hey, the kids will be ready for bed nice and early this way. Regardless of what you choose, rest assured that staying at home or being with your kids doesn’t have to prevent couple connection.
Mentality matters
In reality, getting away together is as much about perspective as anything else. As long as you are willing to think creatively, there are almost endless ways to set the reality of everyday life aside for a time and focus on each other. More importantly, as believers, taking breaks from the frenetic pace of our busy lives for rest and renewal is a beautiful way to honor God and follow Christ’s example.
While the Bible doesn’t specifically discuss vacations or date nights, Scripture is clear that taking time away from our usual activities and routines is essential for not just physical and relational health, but for spiritual renewal as well. We are designed for the rhythm of life to be punctuated by rest. God Himself rested after creating the heavens and the Earth. Psalm 23 notes that God “refreshes” our souls. Solomon writes that “there is nothing better for people than to be happy….and find satisfaction in all their toil” (Ecclesiastes 3:12-13). This scripture reminds us that if you work hard, it is okay to also play hard by taking breaks with your spouse.
This theme continues in the New Testament.
Just as Jesus invited the disciples to come to “a quiet place and get some rest.” In Mark 6:31, He calls us to bring Him our burdens. Learn from Him, and “find rest for [our] souls” in Matthew 11:28-29. Prioritizing getaways with your spouse, whether that be a luxury vacation or a movie night under a makeshift living room tent, offers untold benefits and reflects an understanding of the primacy of the marriage relationship as a source of refreshment in both of your lives.
So what are you waiting for? You can start planning your next road trip, staycation, unique date, or theme dinner today. Continue to emphasize to your spouse that you see the importance of taking time for each other. By thinking creatively and gaining inspiration from some of the ideas shared above. And you can show your spouse how much you love them.
The post Marriage Getaways for the Couple Who Can’t Get Away appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...
