[__ Prayer __] My mother ... a modern miracle

[Saurasenas]

As a final effort towards this wesbite I wanted to share with you guys the awesome things God has done in our lives through the trial of ovarian cancer. I had seen answered prayer before, but never like this. God really went beyond anything any of us had every imagined. I wanted to share some E-mail updates I have been sending to my Shepherding Group. What is a Shepherding Group? The church I attend does not have Wednesday night service. Instead, people assemble in small groups at one another's houses for Bible study, prayer and worship. I hope the letters will be encouraging to you as they extend from a heart full of praise. God is good. Period.



3/3/04

Dear Shepherding Group,

It’s been difficult to see the love of God through my mother’s cancer. But God has made His love known through the comfort of the Holy Spirit. Benjamin Keach wrote, “The Holy Spirit sometimes finds a gracious person very much disturbed and cast down under heavy pressures of affliction, and that no other can comfort him; yet when he comes to a resolution to relieve, refresh, and comfort him, all his sorrow, temptations, and disquietudes [anxiety] fly away. Let a saint be never so sad, if the Spirit see it is fit time to speak peace and comfort to him, he doth it effectually.†In times of great trial and tribulation it is so easy to ask, “where is God in all of this?†Oh how easy it is to forget to look inside, for God the great Comforter resides in the hearts of all believers to “search the heart and reins of every soul He comes to comfort.†It is the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, God in us, that we may have the utmost confidence that God is real, He is there, and He truly cares.

The other night I heard a bluegrass rendition of the song “Great Is Thy Faithfulness†on the radio and things really fell into place. Even though we may feel alone while we face difficult times, God is always there for us. It is the faithfulness of God, and only His faithfulness, that man can fully rely on. The Psalmist wrote, “For He hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath He hid his face from him; but when he cried unto Him, He heard†(Psalm 22:24). It’s so comforting to know that God hears our prayers and that He is involved in each and every aspect of our daily lives. It’s so comforting to know that when we say, “God, I love You†His reply is “I love you first†(1 John 4:19). Though the world may mock those who cry out to God in times of great distress, let us stand firm in our faith and flee to the shelter of the Almighty. The Lord isn’t a shelter from the storm, but He is a shelter in the storm. For “The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble†(Psalm 9:9).

My mother has been very nauseous and weak for the past few days, not being able to keep any food down. This afternoon she was admitted to St. Francis Hospital. The doctor at the Cancer Center believes she has some type of bowel obstruction. Please continue to pray for my mother and our family during these difficult times. I’m not sure if Cindy and I will be able to attend Shepherding Group this weekend, but be assured that all of you are continuously in our thoughts and prayers.

 

[Saurasenas]

3/10/04

Dear Shepherding Group,

After my mother’s liver surgery the surgeon told us that she had several polyps that could be removed through a long and “controversial†surgery. However, upon the most recent surgery the current doctor had a “birds-eye view†of the region and discovered an abundant amount of small cancerous material spread throughout the area. She has been given days to weeks to live. Shortly after the surgery she was admitted to the Critical Care unit at St. Francis Hospital. Since then she has been under a great deal of medication, but has been fairly alert and somewhat responsive. Today a neutropenic and thrombocytopenic precaution has been issued. Basically that means that she is at risk for infection and bleeding. Because of this we are not currently accepting room visitation. I know that God’s people are doing God’s work and can strongly feel the power of prayer. Even though the recent news was shocking and disturbing God has given me a sense of peace through His Holy Spirit that gives me a “realistic yet optimistic†outlook on the situation. It is truly a miracle that my mother is still alive today. The current doctor asked when she was diagnosed. When we told him about eight months he was amazed and said that in the cases that he has seen someone with that amount of cancer should have only lived two months! This is an awesome miracle in itself! We are looking for another miracle.

I know that I have shared with many the concern regarding my mother’s salvation. Today, in a time of prayer, the Lord spoke to my heart and said, “Don’t worry … she’s mine.†Oh how great the blessed assurance of salvation through Jesus Christ! Satan may have destroyed our family, but he’s not taking my mom!! I’m optimistic about taking my mother home at some time. But how small our home is compared to that glorious Mansion prepared for her in Heaven. The Lord’s will, will be done.

Be reminded that you are all continuously in my thoughts and prayers.

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more eath, nor sorrow, nor crying; and there shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.†– Revelation 21:4

 

[Saurasenas]

3/16/04

Dear Shepherding Group,

Just wanted to drop a quick E-mail to give you a quick update on my mother. A kidney specialist said today that her kidneys are "almost normal." The past couple days her heart has been racing (between 80 - 206), but today it was constantly in the mid to high 90's (which is pretty much within a "normal" range). A cardiac specialist said the ultrasound revealed she has a "good strong heart". Her white blood cell count is 4.8, which is a HUGE improvement (praise the Lord!!!), but her platelet level is still pretty low. She has developed a bad rash on most of her upper body. The doctors believe this is due to the platelet level being so low and that she "bled into a rash" (whatever that means). She was put on a full liquid diet today (she was so excited to have "real food") and they are thinking about moving her to another floor tomorrow. She was taken off Morphine yesterday and is starting to become even more consciously aware of her surroundings. But because of this she is asking lots of questions. I suppose some time this week the doctor will tell her about the extent of the cancer, so please pray that she will not lose hope. We are all optimistic about getting her home soon. Thank you for all your prayers and support. It is so great to see God's people doing God's work! Keep on praying and I'll keep you updated.

 

[Saurasenas]

3/18/04

These past few weeks have been very difficult, but yet so many amazing things have happened! It's been awesome to see the power of prayer and God's miraculous provision right before our eyes. God knew exactly what we needed to keep our focus on Him! I remember that after her surgery on March 7th the doctor gave my mom about two weeks to live. Well, here we are towards the end of the second week and mom is recovering better than anyone (including the medical staff) could even imagine!! Yesterday around lunchtime she was moved to room #511. She has a really great room with a view and it's two doors down from the 5th floor chapel. Her platelet level is gradually increasing, her white blood cell count is really good (they have removed the infection precaution), and physical therapy is going really well. She still has a bad rash on most of her upper body but it seems to be getting better as the platelet level increases. Keep on praying that her pain will be controlled, she is particularly having pain in her back. Also there is a risk for pneumonia since she has been in bed for so long, so keep that in prayer.

God has allowed some great witnessing opportunities through all of this. Tuesday a friend of mine who I have not seen in years heard about my mom and came over to "comfort" me. After seeing my hope-filled, optimistic attitude about the situation (it's all the Holy Spirit!!) and hearing of all the marvelous things the Lord has done these past couple weeks it made her really curious how I was able to have that kind of attitude in such a desperate situation and I was able to share the Gospel with her. She is a member of the Church of Christ cult and is really confused about what is salvation, but I hope that after talking with her the Lord will spark a light in her heart for the true Gospel of Jesus Christ. Also this weekend a family friend who is an Atheist will be visiting. Please pray that the Lord will open an opportunity for me to share the Gospel with him. I hope to be able to come to Shepherding Group this week. If not, I just want to let you guys know that I really appreciate all the prayer and that I pray for you guys daily.

"My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth" - Psalm 121:2

 

[Saurasenas]

3/19/04

Dear Shepherding Group,

Sorry for all the E-mails, but I suppose “new news is old news†in the medical field. Yesterday morning my mom was looking pretty good. She was tired and had some pain in her back, but that was about it. Early this morning she developed a bad nosebleed and I also noticed some blood in her mouth. Her platelet levels have dropped significantly so this is a pretty serious matter. She was given more platelets this morning and remains sedated. Also the doctor said this morning that he thinks she may have some type of infection. Her white blood count is better than it was yesterday, but this is still a serious concern. The kidney specialist said that her kidneys looked worse than yesterday. He took me aside and told me that my mom is in “bad, bad, bad shape.†All I could think of is, “No, she’s not because she knows Jesus Christ as her personal Savior.†Like mom said, “God’s grace is sufficientâ€Â, it’s all we really need. A nurse practitioner wants to take her outside sometime today or tomorrow, that will be a blessing since she hasn't seen sunlight in about 2 1/2 weeks. The same practitioner (who is a believer) still maintains an optimistic attitude about getting mom home sometime soon. Please pray that we will all maintain a hope-filled, optimistic attitude and not be distracted or discouraged by the adversary. It sounds to me like the doctors are pretty much giving up on my mom, but weknow that “With God all things are possible.â€Â

 

[Saurasenas]

3/23/04

Dear Shepherding Group,

Just wanted to give a quick update on my mom. The last couple days have been pretty good. Her platelet level is up and she has been more alert, focused, and receptive. She still has some pain in her back and has trouble getting comfortable in bed. Her physical therapy is going well and the P.T. Assistant said that she is “exceeding her goals.†She is having some difficulty keeping some foods down but I think that should get better when they change her diet to more solid foods. Pray that this will be a good week with no “bumps in the road†as we are eager to get mom home. Besides praying for my mom keep in mind my family, especially my grandfather. Also pray for me that I will lay any frustrations and discouragement at the foot of the cross. I know the Devil is mad at us for praying so much and turning to God during this difficult time and he is going to find ways to “slither-in.†May we have a wall of prayer around us! Thanks for keeping us in your prayers and I’ll give another update later this week.

 

[Saurasenas]

3/26/04

Dear Shepherding Group,

The Lord has put on my heart recently John 9:1-3 “Now as Jesus passed by, He saw a man who was blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, saying, ‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ Jesus answered, ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.†Even though cancer is different from blindness, it is still a condition that God allows in order to reveal His works. God has revealed Himself in a mighty and wonderful way through answered prayer left and right and by the miracle that my mother is still alive, alert, and receptive. Even through the trial of cancer we are reminded that God is good, He cares, and He is in complete control. Longsuffering is not only a matter of human endurance; it is an attribute of the Divine. God does not take pleasure in seeing my mom in pain. He is suffering right along with us. We can see how God has revealed His works through longsuffering, as one doctor said today about my mom, “Your strength is amazing!†Quite the contrary, it’s God’s strength that is amazing! Only through His strength is my mother able to endure this situation with the Godly comfort that no matter what happens she is in God’s hands.

This week has been pretty good. Physical therapy has gone well and my mom’s kidneys have leveled out. Her platelet level is very good and her blood count is ok. One doctor said that if all goes well over the next few days we might be able to take mom home “this time next week.†She was running a fever of 104 this morning. The doctors believe this was a result of discontinuing antibiotics. After they restarted the antibiotics her temperature dropped to 99.4. Pray that she will maintain a healthy temperature. Also she is having lots of back pain. She has been given Hydromorphone for pain and has been pretty much dependant on that today. Mom is still having problems with nausea and has had trouble keeping meals down. I talked with the dietician yesterday and she is going to try to provide more foods that mom not only likes but those that will be gentle on her stomach.

Thanks for all your prayers and support. It’s awesome to see God’s people doing God’s work. I know that God has a great big smile on His face right now. But I also know that the adversary is extremely upset with us and has already found a few ways to “slither in†this week. Please pray that a wall of prayer will surround us. The Devil may win a few fights, but the victory belongs to Jesus!

 

[Saurasenas]

3/30/04

Dear Shepherding Group,

Phillips Brooke wrote, "Life is too short to nurse one's misery. Hurry across the lowlands that you may spend more time on the mountaintops." I'm reminded of John 6:3 where Jesus went up into a mountain and sat with His disciples. How wonderful that must have been to sit with the Lord, the Messiah, the One who spoke the universe into existence! What a view they must have had, overlooking God's marvelous creation. How small things seem from atop a mountain. How small cancer seems when sitting with Jesus. Don Roelofs recorded, "It gave me great comfort to know that my life is in the hands of the God who spoke the lake, the birds, the mountains and the sunset into existence." Even though life's problems are spread throughout the lowlands, they are not worthy to be compared to the glory revealed in Christ!

Well, we've hit another "bump in the road." Yesterday morning mom's kidneys took another turn in the wrong direction. Also she has a blood infection. Last week a doctor doubled her dose of Hydromorphone, which was unnecessary since mom has only complained of some back pain. I talked with another doctor yesterday morning and he took her off the "pain pump" and replaced it with shots of 2mg Hydromorphone every two hours (as needed). So far the pain shots are working well. She is more alert and receptive and is meeting more of her physical therapy goals. Also she is getting more meals she likes, has a better appetite, and is holding down food better. I think as far as the doctors are concerned more chemotherapy is out of the question. Which is fine with me as it hasn't helped any and has some pretty nasty side effects. The cancer is in God's hands and His will is going to be done.

Thanks for praying so much. I can really sense the power of prayer!!!

 

[Saurasenas]

4/1/04

Dear Shepherding Group,

It’s an amazing example of God’s love that while encompassed by the dark clouds of cancer the light of Jesus Christ shines so brightly. I love what Benjamin Keach wrote about the friendship of Jesus, “Christ is the believer’s friend; He hath been abundantly tried, but never failed any that trusted in Him. He never left His, but was full of kindness to them in all their troubles, nor unmindful of those great concerns, committed to the charge of this their choicest Friend.†Timothy took shelter in the faithfulness of the Lord when he was inspired to write, “… the Lord stood with me and strengthened me …†Likewise we take comfort in the knowledge that God is with us and that He is providing the strength we so desperately need during this great trial.

Over the last couple days my mother’s kidney level elevated to 3.6. Today it was elevated to 3.8. A properly functioning range is less than 1.1, so the kidneys have taken a turn in the wrong direction. Also today the doctor noted that her heart has enlarged. Despite these “setbacks†my mother has had a great past couple days. She is completely focused on the Lord and takes comfort in the sufficiency of His grace. North Hills Community Church graciously supplied me with four copies of Dan Roelof’s book “A Place Called Surrender.†It’s an amazing book and definitely a must read. The struggles Dan faced parallel ours and his testimony has been very encouraging to me. I can see a similar testimony in my mother. It’s ironic how great feeling completely helpless can be! Having the knowledge that God’s strength is the only strength you can completely rely on. Knowing that you are right there in His hand, being uplifted right when you need it. Isn’t it amazing that the hand of the Almighty, the very One that is powerful enough to create the heavens and the earth is yet gentle enough to cover us with His love like a warm blanket? I know that we are not the only one’s facing difficult times at St. Francis Hospital and hope to get Dan’s book into the hands of a few people so that it may be encouraging to them as well.

We should probably know more this weekend about my mother’s heart and kidneys. I can’t express how much it means to our family to have the love and support of God’s people during this difficult time. God has blessed us with answered prayer left and right and the fact that my mother is not only alive but also alert, receptive, humorous, and able to rejoice in the sufficiency of God's grace is a blessing that words could never express! Keep on praying and I’ll continue to keep you updated.

 

[Saurasenas]

4/7/04

Dear Shepherding Group,

After a little over a month at St. Francis Hospital mom came home yesterday!!! Continue to pray that she will have peace amidst this time of great trial. Over the past few days she has been experiencing more anxiety, so pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to comfort her heart. I am going to be her primary caregiver, so please pray that I will approach this new role demonstrating the patience and love of Jesus Christ. God has taught me so much about trusting Him during the past month. My mother and I read Psalm 145:3 the other day, “Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; And His greatness is unsearchable.†I looked up the word “unsearchable†in my Strong’s Concordance and no definition was provided. And really, when you think about it, God’s greatness is indefinable. Often times when writing update E-mails I sit in front of the computer for a few minutes trying to find words to describe what God has done in our hearts and lives recently. Honestly, the words I write don’t even scratch the surface of the marvelous things God has done. It’s truly beyond words!

The role of primary caregiver is going to be tough. But it’s a role I embrace, as I know it is God’s will. I know I can’t do everything by myself and I know that God doesn’t expect me to. Therefore, I need help. If anyone would like to prepare meals, sit with my mom for a while, or whatever else God may lay upon your heart let me know.

Thanks for all your prayers and continue to pray as we wait upon the Lord. Mom is one step closer to Heaven. But then again aren’t all believers? We never know when the Lord is going to take us home. In many respects it really doesn’t matter. As I told someone yesterday, “It’s not when we’re going to die that matters, what matters is were we are going to go when we die.†Praise God believers can know that our salvation status is completely in God’s hands. Therefore we should view each day as a miraculous blessing from the Lord as we await our homecoming.

 

[Saurasenas]

4/19/04

Dear Shepherding Group,

Just wanted to drop a quick E-mail to update on how mom is doing. As each day passes I am absolutely amazed at the strength God has given her. Actually, I’m having a difficult time keeping up with her! Her pain and anxiety are under control so we are having good mornings, afternoons, and nights. St. Francis Hospice is great and mom’s social worker actually attends NHCC. The other day one of her nurses took time to pray with her before she left. It’s so awesome to see believer’s being able to do things like that at work without fear of getting in trouble. Probably the most amazing thing that has happened so far is that I overheard my mom witnessing to my brother. Although I can’t say he was very receptive to the Gospel, I know that will be a memory I will cherish for the rest of my life! That’s the way we should live our lives. Even on our deathbeds sharing the good news of Jesus Christ.

I know at the hospital our faith was on trial. I think my mom and I did well. But now it seems like our patience is on trial and that seems like a completely different situation. The Bible is full of wonderful news about patience so there is no shortage of God’s instruction. But when the adversary does what he does best it is so easy to turn to your own feelings instead of His word. So please pray for all of us that we will demonstrate the patience and longsuffering of Jesus Christ. Little things that people say can really pile up. Pray that we will give that mountain to the Lord.

Thanks for all your prayers and continue to pray for us. Even though these are difficult times we know that it’s not about pain, suffering, or even cancer. It’s about whether or not we are going to be obedient to God’s will despite life’s circumstances.

 

[Saurasenas]

4/26/04

Dear Shepherding Group,

Well, here we are some eight weeks after mom's surgery and she's still alive and well. In fact, she's more than alive and well - she's strong, active, talkative, mobile, happy, and has a healthy appetite! I had faith that God would provide mom with a quick recovery, but He has really gone above and beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Mom is healing well and is getting around good in both her wheelchair and walker. She has a strong desire to walk on her own and can already walk several feet without assistance. Pretty impressive for someone ordered "bedrest"! Isn't God amazing? We can truly testify to Nehemiah's words, "... the joy of the Lord is your strength."

I think I shared with you guys the circumstance with our atheistic family friends who came to town to visit a few weeks ago. At that time they were closed to God, even admist the awesome answered prayers and miraculous provision right in front of their face. Well, their son wrote a letter to my mother saying, "I pray that you get well soon every night." Wow!!! Imagine this coming from someone who has openly mocked the existence of God right in front of me!!! Hopefully I will be able to call him sometime this week to talk to him about how things are going here. Pray that he will be receptive to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It would be awesome to see them saved through this trial.

Thanks for all your prayers and support. It was great to see everyone at Sunday lunch. Continue to pray for us as we face the days ahead.

 

[Roxanne]

Dear Saurenas, I have followed your thread with awe and joy to some extent. I really loved the expressions you quoted, from layman's writings too. Your Mom is in my prayers, as are you and your loved ones. Please give me an update when you can. thank you for this incredible witness, and testimony and blessings. I already love Jesus so much but always love to read of these things too. Others that love Him and God. I pray for your atheist friends and your brother. God be praised awesomely for giving you the personal word that your Mom is His. He has said the same thing to me about my Mum. thank you once again Saurenas. God be with you all.

Roxanne

 

[Saurasenas]

06.02.04

Dear Shepherding Group,

Last Tuesday I took my mother to the Cancer Center for testing. I wish I had taken a camera with me so that I could capture the expression on everyones face as mom walked through the door! The doctor looked in disbelief at my mom for a few moments, scratched his head as if searching for an explanation and then referred to mom as "the miracle woman!" Finally, the doctor got something right!!! Mom's recovery is a miracle that no one can deny. After the doctor's visit I took mom and my grandparents to Myrtle Beach for a few days. Mom had lots of fun eating, shopping, and basking in the sun. The weather was great and everything went well despite a flat tire and some slight nausea. However, when we arrived home mom went out to eat with her friend and got food poisoning. For the past few days she has been extremely nauseous and very tired. Please pray that she will recover quickly from the food poisoning and that her nausea will be under control.

This Tuesday we received the results from the CA-125. It showed that mom's cancer is growing but at a rate "below average." The doctor's and nurses are quite pleased about this information, especially taking into account that her blood work was excellent. But I can see the onset of depression in my mother's eyes and it breaks my heart. Pray that she will not give up home. Also pray that she will start going back to church and read her devotions more. I know that the Devil is going to go all out to discourage her and us as we face the days ahead, but pray that our eyes and hearts will be focused on Christ.

As part of our cancer outreach I will be mailing a thank you letter to a woman named Sylvia who is affiliated with a particular cult. She is a friend of a relative who has been sending my mother notes of encouragement even though they do not know each other. I will be including in the letter the true Gospel of Jesus Christ. Please pray that she will be receptive to the Gospel and that the Holy Spirit will guide her to the truth.

With love in Christ,

Bryan

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you Roxanne for those kind words of encouragement. I pray that the Lord will allow us to reach out to many people with the Good News of Jesus Christ.

:D

 

[wigginsmum]

Praying.

Jules

 

[Roxanne]

Dear Bryan, sorry spelled your name wrong before! had difficulty with that lol.

Bryan you and your mom and your family and those you try to give the good news of Jesus Christ to are so in my prayers. I think of you and your mom particularly with fondness and pray He draws you all very close to Him. I will be grateful for any updates we can pray about, no matter how trivial you think it or not important enough. And please let us pray for you too. It is not easy, I know. God keep you all safe. Lord, move in these lives! God bless you all.

Roxanne

Lord, not forgetting to thank You so far for what You have done!

 

[Saurasenas]

Late Update - 06/25/04

Dear Shepherding Group,

Just wanted to give a quick update on my mom. Her condition is rapidly deteriorating. For the past few weeks she has had much nausea and vomiting. Because of this she has become weak and dehydrated. Tuesday morning we went to the Cancer Center for help. Her doctor ordered a nausea pump and basically told us (in a nice way) that there is no reason for us to come back because there is nothing else they can do. The pump seems to be working fairly well but she has had some side effects that limit her mobility and have affected her vision. Overall things are not good. Please pray specifically for the nausea and vomiting, pain control, and both physical and spiritual strength. Regardless of the circumstance mom still has a fighting spirit but we know there is only so much her body can take. Continue to pray that our focus will be on the message and love of Jesus Christ.

I can understand why people may be hesitant to call, especially with mom sleeping most of the day, but I believe that she desperately needs messages of encouragement. I encourage people to mail her a card with a brief message to let her know that people are still there and praying for us.

 

[Saurasenas]

The Beginning of Life Eternal

This will be my last post on this message board. I appreciate all the prayer both posted and unspoken concerning my mother and the trial of cancer.

Mom ascended to Heaven in the early hours of July 1, 2004. Her life is a testimony of the sufficiency of God's grace. She leaves behind a legacy of trust, hope and faith. The day before her departure we had our morning devotions and afterwards she struggled with all of her strength to say "Jesus". Her faith endured to the end. She was not bitter with God nor did she blame Him for the cancer. Instead she transformed cancer into an opportunity for worship. Our hearts are overwhelmed but we look to the Rock that is higher than us. Christ heals the brokenhearted and we can look forward to that day when we see her again in Heaven. Just think about it ... right now mom is in Heaven, perpetually praising the Lord God Almighty!

Continue to pray for our family as we approach her funeral this Sunday.

Memorial tributes may be made to:

St. Francis Hospice
414 Pettigru St.
Greenville, SC 29601

With love in Christ,

Bryan

 

[wigginsmum]

I'm deeply saddened by this and am praying for you all, but praise God for the wonderful testimony of your mother's faith - you don't know how many people this is touching. I've linked to this to many friends, including non-Christians.

Until you're with her again,
Jules