My mother taught me.....

[civilwarbuff]

With Mother's Day coming up in a few short weeks I thought I would share their maternal wisdom with everyone.

My mother taught me.....
1. To appreciate a job well done: 'If you are going to kill each other do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. About religion: 'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'
3. About time travel: 'If you don't straighten up , I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week.'
4. Logic: 'Because I said so, that's why.'
5. More logic: 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. Foresight: 'Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident.'
7. Irony: 'Keep crying and I will give you something to cry about.'
8. Osmosis: 'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. About being a contortionist: 'Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck.'
10. Stamina: 'You'll sit there until that spinach is all gone.'
11. Weather: 'This room looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. About hypocrisy: 'If I told you once, I told you a million times, don't exaggerate.'
13. About the circle of life: 'I brought you into this world and I can take you out.'
14. Behavior modification: 'Stop acting like your father.'
15. About anticipation: 'Just wait until we get home.'
16. About receiving: 'You are going to get it when we get home.'
17. About medical science: 'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'
18. ESP: 'Put your sweater on, don't you think I know when you are cold.'
19. Humor: 'When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'
20. How to become an adult: 'If you don't eat your vegetables, you will never grow up.'
21. Genetics: 'You're just like your father.'
22. About my roots: 'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn."
23. Wisdom: 'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
24. About justice: 'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.'
25. About envy: 'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you.'

Stolen from:
The First Pres Visitor
First Presbyterian Church
Portsmouth, Ohio

I didn't think they'd mind.

So, any other words of maternal wisdom out there that you would like to share with us?

 

[reba]

love it absolutely know it and love it

 

[Nathan]

my momma taught me.......

 

[Jethro Bodine]

My momma taught me about physics: Move the fulcrum away from you and you won't have to work as hard.

Oh, and she also taught me.... ♫"You better shop around <shop> <shop>" ♫

 

[th1b.taylor]

With Mother's Day coming up in a few short weeks I thought I would share their maternal wisdom with everyone.

My mother taught me.....
1. To appreciate a job well done: 'If you are going to kill each other do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. About religion: 'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'
3. About time travel: 'If you don't straighten up , I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week.'
4. Logic: 'Because I said so, that's why.'
5. More logic: 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.'
6. Foresight: 'Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident.'
7. Irony: 'Keep crying and I will give you something to cry about.'
8. Osmosis: 'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. About being a contortionist: 'Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck.'
10. Stamina: 'You'll sit there until that spinach is all gone.'
11. Weather: 'This room looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. About hypocrisy: 'If I told you once, I told you a million times, don't exaggerate.'
13. About the circle of life: 'I brought you into this world and I can take you out.'
14. Behavior modification: 'Stop acting like your father.'
15. About anticipation: 'Just wait until we get home.'
16. About receiving: 'You are going to get it when we get home.'
17. About medical science: 'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.'
18. ESP: 'Put your sweater on, don't you think I know when you are cold.'
19. Humor: 'When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'
20. How to become an adult: 'If you don't eat your vegetables, you will never grow up.'
21. Genetics: 'You're just like your father.'
22. About my roots: 'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn."
23. Wisdom: 'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
24. About justice: 'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.'
25. About envy: 'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you.'

Stolen from:
The First Pres Visitor
First Presbyterian Church
Portsmouth, Ohio

I didn't think they'd mind.

So, any other words of maternal wisdom out there that you would like to share with us?

Your mother and mine were related?

 

[JohnDB]

My mother was a student of Dr Doolittle...some little birdie kept telling on me.