[ Testimony ] My Personal Testimony

[Vanguard]

I grew up as a Southern Baptist, attending church with my parents. I was saved at the age of 12, on Mother's Day, and baptized shortly thereafter. I was the youngest of three children, and lived through a happy childhood. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I started recognizing that my family was not the "all American" family that I thought it was (I was naive).

My father had a massive gambling addiction. He would lose entire paychecks on the ballgames playing over the weekend. When the bills would fall behind, he and my mother would get into yelling matches. He probably threw away over $50k by the time I was 18. He was a pipe and cigar smoker, he drank at night, and I am fairly certain he cheated on her once. Through it all, she never divorced him. Fortunately I learned through him what not to do. I do not smoke, drink, gamble, or cheat on my wife.

In school, I was that kid who never studied but made straight A's anyway. I have a semi-photographic memory, and could recall my teachers' lectures during test time. I would blaze through the tests, often finishing 10-15 minutes ahead of everyone else. I was labeled a nerd by my peers.

By the time I was in junior high, I wanted to fit in. I let my grades slide, started listening to heavy metal music, wore black concert t-shirts, grew my hair long, got an earring, and hung out with the "metal heads." I witnessed drug use, shoplifting, premarital sex, etc. My disguise was a facade. Through it all, I never touched alcohol or drugs. By the time I was a senior, my grades came back up, and I was known as one of the best literary writers in my school (my class graduated 300). I was a band member from 7th - 12th grade, having played the drums (still do).

After high school I enlisted in the US Army. I was 11 Bravo (infantry) but never went anywhere. From there I started college and dabbled with my core classes while trying to decide on a major. I was originally headed for sports medicine, but opted for criminal justice instead. I finished my degree in CRJ/Law and played around for several more years before going to police academy.

As a cop, I have seen the evils of the world. Most will never have to go through what I have experienced. My job makes you question God.

I met my wife in 2000 and have been with her since. We have a four year old son who is my spitting image (even his attitude). Everything I do is for the love of my family.

I always identified myself as a Christian, though I often wondered why. Yes I had my early upbringing in the church, but as I gained in knowledge and wisdom, I began to see faults. I have a naturally inquisitive mind, so I asked questions, looked for answers, and broke out of the "KJV only SB" mold.

Research is a BIG hobby of mine. If I take an interest in a subject, I dive headlong into it and don't come up for air too often. I never take things for granted or at face value. Every coin has an opposite side. Every story has alternate renditions. There is dark and light in everything.

Without trying to sound arrogant, I have a gift. When I write, the words flow from my mind onto the page with ease. I've always been able to do that. I've always been able to express myself, convey ideas or illustrate a point on paper quite easily. I sincerely believe I missed my calling as a professional writer. However, it is never too late to start.

People often ask me, "why do you think or believe the way you do"? I am an outside-of-the-box type of thinker. I try to look at the bigger picture. I don't settle for vague, cop-out answers. I want to KNOW!

As a student of history, I look at numerous different factors that might govern an outcome. With regard to biblical history, there is so much more to the 4,000 BC - 200 AD era than what is written in the Bible. I look at political factors between the people. I look at wars and conflicts. I design psychological profiles (it's part of what I do as a CSI cop) of interesting figures. Whether it is 2,000 BC or 2,000 AD, humans act the same at the basic levels.

Am I a Christian? Yes.
Do I believe in God? Yes.
Do I believe that Jesus is God's son, and that He died for our sins, and that by asking Him to save us we are granted salvation? Yes.

Everything else is subjective, contextual, and argumentative. Did the early and middle Christian writers claim that they were anointed and divinely inspired? Yes. So did the translators for the NWT, yet we quickly shun them. Who are we to judge? I personally do not think they "have it right," but I remain civil toward them.

My posts are designed to be thought provoking. I engage with people to get them to actually read and understand what is in the Bible. If someone is stuck on the KJV only, they will fall behind on my threads. I use no less than 8 different translations, 2 concordances, and study the Hebrew and Greek.

I speak my mind, I don't sugarcoat things, and here's the kicker...what I say in my threads when talking about a subject, may NOT be my actual belief on that subject! However, in the interest of study, I often present material that is subjective and assume the role of devil's advocate. I want people to think for themselves, break out of their safe little shells, and really get into the heart of religion.

I get aggravated at those that keep spitting the same info over and over, even after they have been proven wrong or shown an alternate reading. I have no problems with the KJV, but those who swear by it as the only version, can't grasp or rationalize on the same level as me. They are blinded by it. It's like talking to a brick wall. However, I try to refrain from making anything personal. Sometimes you just have to shake your head and walk away.

I also believe that science can explain a lot of the events in the Bible. People back then would turn to the supernatural when they did not understand something. Not everything has to be a miracle. It could simply be an act of nature. However, God formulated the laws of nature, so that in the end, it is still His work.

I say all of that to lead to this...I know I am being called to the ministry. I always have that "little voice" in my head, guiding me and shaping my thoughts. I believe in guardian angels, because there have been too many times that I have been spared, for it to be coincidental. I also believe in ESP and its various studies. As a child I would dream about things, and within a short amount of time those things would happen, triggering de javu. Jesus speaks of gifts...mine might be prophecy. This country; this world needs a spiritual revolution with Christianity. I pray I am a part of it.

It is for the above reason that I am now studying theology, and working my way toward a PhD in the field.

Anyway, there it is. Nothing fancy, just honest.

 

[reba]

Thanks Van it is nice to get to know folks a bit.

 

[P31Woman]

Now that you are older why not give a good Christian Church a shot again?

 

[Gordon]

Hi Vanguard. I enjoyed learning about you. I was most interested in the end and you feeling being called to the ministry. I would be interested in hearing about your relationship with God throughout your testimony. It would tie things together and glorify God in you coming to this point.

 

[Vanguard]

Now that you are older why not give a good Christian Church a shot again?

I have.

Many of them are...shall we say...biased and stuck in a narrow minded mentality. I often find that the "members of the board" happen to be the biggest $$$ contributors. I also take notice when the pastor uses verses out of context and applies them to something totally different. I just shake my head what it happens.

However, there is a Baptist church that I am liking. The assoc. pastor is my next door neighbor, has a PhD in Divinity, is my age, and we talk about theology/philosophy quite often. He and I see eye to eye. They are not free from being biased, but at least it is not as great as some of the others. Churches and their members get wrapped up in their status and size.

 

[P31Woman]

I have.

Many of them are...shall we say...biased and stuck in a narrow minded mentality. I often find that the "members of the board" happen to be the biggest $$$ contributors. I also take notice when the pastor uses verses out of context and applies them to something totally different. I just shake my head what it happens.

However, there is a Baptist church that I am liking. The assoc. pastor is my next door neighbor, has a PhD in Divinity, is my age, and we talk about theology/philosophy quite often. He and I see eye to eye. They are not free from being biased, but at least it is not as great as some of the others. Churches and their members get wrapped up in their status and size.

Hey it sounds to me like your may have found a place you can fit in. I like educated preachers and teachers in Churches. You may discover that in smaller group settings your questions, challanges, etc to the faith are more than welcome! Some of us LOVE it when people like you join our group. Iron Sharpens Iron.

Strong faith can stand up to examination! In fact it demands it. You go!

 

[Vanguard]

Hi Vanguard. I enjoyed learning about you. I was most interested in the end and you feeling being called to the ministry. I would be interested in hearing about your relationship with God throughout your testimony. It would tie things together and glorify God in you coming to this point.

Thanks!

My relationship with God is a work in progress. I know that He wants me to minister to people, but I am unsure in what capacity, when, where, etc. I have always heard Him speaking to me, and it is probably why I never caved under peer pressure to do drugs, alcohol, etc., while it was all around me. When I question the sights I have to witness as a CSI cop, I often ask "why" that had to happen, especially to a child. Internally, I am reassured that God did not cause the incident as He does not want to see any of His children suffer. He gives me insight into free will and what it means to allow it to continue. The good, the bad, all because of choices made. In the end He wants us to come home to Him, but some refuse the calling and live in darkness. Thus the price of His greatest gift: free will.

I often ask myself, "what can I do about it"? Well, sitting around doing nothing won't help. You have to get involved. Write a book. Start teaching. Reach out to those in need. You have to take that first step.

Stop and ask yourself why 20% of Americans now consider themselves atheists or agnostic. What went wrong? Why are so many leaving the church and God? Maybe, just maybe, the "old ways" of doing things and thinking aren't cutting it anymore. Perhaps God wants to use people like me to get out in the world, grab the bull by the horns, and redirect people, the church, and the Christian society into the next phase in preparation of the rapture. I don't know. I don't have all the answers. I just try to follow what He puts in my heart.

Edit: when I speak my mind (or heart) I am usually received in one of two ways: a man of God, or a false prophet. I have never made the claim to be a prophet, but some of my thoughts lend suspicion to some, usually because it rubs them the wrong way.

 

[Gordon]

Thanks Vanguard. You seem like a gifted high achiever. I think when you minister it might be helpful to really get into how much God has been with you and even those doubts as a cop. A lot of people might have a hard time relating to the photographic memory and the outside the box thinking. Maybe you have a unique style of ministry and are well aware of this and adjust well to your audience. Also high intelligence can cause people to become distrustful. You might want to not want to highlight the gift as you do before people know you. Though you probably are aware of this kind of stuff being a cop. Maybe your target audience here is those well versed in the Word already. Thanks for expanding on your testimony and your relationship with God is my favorite part.

 

[Vanguard]

A lot of people might have a hard time relating to the photographic memory and the outside the box thinking.

Also high intelligence can cause people to become distrustful.

You might want to not want to highlight the gift as you do before people know you.

Maybe your target audience here is those well versed in the Word already.

For these reasons, I try to keep my deepest posts confined to Apologetics. I don't speak of personal gifts or imply them (they can be a very big turnoff and cause instant distrust). I also have to remember to speak not as if I am preparing a doctoral thesis, but in every day language that people can understand (especially as a cop). I have to remember that people are entitled to their own opinions, and if they differ (or they are not grasping a concept) I can't attack or rebuke them. Thanks for your kind words!

 

[P31Woman]

Everything else is subjective, contextual, and argumentative. Did the early
and middle Christian writers claim that they were anointed and divinely
inspired? Yes. So did the translators for the NWT, yet we quickly shun them. Who
are we to judge? I personally do not think they "have it right," but I remain
civil toward them.

The Bible writters did not claim to be inspired. Scritpure teaches us it's the word of scripture that was inspired.

Who is the body of Christ to judge doctrine? Only fools don't judge doctrine.

 

[P31Woman]

For these reasons, I try to keep my deepest posts confined to Apologetics. I don't speak of personal gifts or imply them (they can be a very big turnoff and cause instant distrust). I also have to remember to speak not as if I am preparing a doctoral thesis, but in every day language that people can understand (especially as a cop). I have to remember that people are entitled to their own opinions, and if they differ (or they are not grasping a concept) I can't attack or rebuke them. Thanks for your kind words!

Christians are called to rebuke false doctrine. We are called to only teach sound doctrine.

 

[Vanguard]

Thanks to all for the reads and replies!

God bless.