Need advice, got a situation going on..

[destiny]

We've been friends with a couple who are new christians for a couple of months now.
We've been going out, eating, and watching movies together.
This couple seemed to be getting along good for awhile, they were receptive to what counseling my husband and I have given them (and believe me we are qualified to counsel because we've been through a lot in our marriage), but no matter how much godly advice and self experience we share with them they seem to be headed for divorce court anyway.
The thing is we all went in together and rented a cabin for summer vacation, my husband has already paid 165.00 down, and they are suppose to give us the other half soon.
We would be MORE than happy to take our vacation alone given all thats happened, but my friend (the wife) whose marriage is on the rocks, says she will go with my husband and I on vacation even if her husband doesn't go, she said she still plans on having fun....keeps bringing up and stressing the fact that she IS going :o
I am at a loss for words as to what to tell her, apart from telling a bald faced lie I don't have a clue as to how to get out of this one, all I know is I don't want to take her with us plus she won't even be able to afford her half of the trip. :-?
Help?

 

[Quath]

Is she no fun to be with unless her husband is there? Or are you closer to the husband?

You could tell her you are looking at another couple to join you and your husband to pay the other half. That way she would either need to pay her half or let you seek out someone that can pay. That may diffuse it some. It could come up again if she keeps constant tabs on your progress to get someone else to go. You could say you are transferring to a smaller 2 person only room so you don't lose your deposit.

I guess from her perspective, she is probably a little scared about the divorce and wants company.

Quath

 

[txbkldy]

I know that if I were in your situation I wouldn't want a newly single woman along on a vacation with me and my husband. Is there any way that you could show her that it wouldn't be comfortable for you or your husband having her along for that reason?

 

[Ryu]

This whole situation just smells of trouble. For one thing multiple married couples going on vacation together is never a good thing. Not to mention the fact that you have not known them long enough to really know them. As for my advice; business is business. If this other couple comes up with their share of the money and fullfills their end of the contract then allow them to come along. If they breach their contract and don't pay up then don't take them along. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO YOU ALLOW YOUR FRIEND TO COME ALONG WITHOUT HER HUSBAND. That alone has the potential to become very ugly, very quickly, especially if they are considering divorce. If you have to tell her she cannot come along I would tell her the truth and be straightforward and direct.

 

[destiny]

I was already a little apprehensive about sharing vacation time with another couple to start with because it's usually family time.
Now since one party has possibly bailed out (theres still a chance he might go) I would feel more comfortable if only my husband and I went. Thats just me, probably does sound a bit selfish but since my kids are going to be staying with my sister then I would either go as planned or just the two of us go, otherwise I had just as soon take my children with me.

I guess from her perspective, she is probably a little scared about the divorce and wants company.

Thats not it, it's more of an attitude that shes gonna show him that she can have fun without him.
I'll probably wait a little longer to see if they can work things out then decide from there, but at any rate it's probably gonna be either to go as originally planned, or just my husband and me will be going

 

[destiny]

I know that if I were in your situation I wouldn't want a newly single woman along on a vacation with me and my husband. Is there any way that you could show her that it wouldn't be comfortable for you or your husband having her along for that reason?

For reasons I won't go into I don't think I have anything to worry about in that department where this woman or my husband is concerned. It's just that if i'm going to plan a trip and make plans for my children to stay with my sister, then either the original plans will have to work out, or my husband and I go alone....otherwise my whole family goes.

Ryu...
This whole situation just smells of trouble. For one thing multiple married couples going on vacation together is never a good thing. Not to mention the fact that you have not known them long enough to really know them.

We've never taken another couple along like this, we thought it would be fun because we have a lot in common as far as liking to do the same things.
I have known the girl most of my life but only as an aquaintence, I was never close to her until recently. But the husband I only met through her.
They've only been married 7 months, we are praying they can make their marriage work. You can lead a horse to water....

 

[Nikki]

That's a tough one, but being someone that HAS vacationed with another couple, I would tell her straight out that the vacation was planned as a "COUPLES" vacation and that if her and her hubby are still having problems that you and your hubby prefer to vacation alone. We won't go on vacation with another couple unless we stay in a SEPERATE hotel room. I don't think I could ever share a cabin with another couple unless I knew them VERY well and knew their ways.

Just be upfront and honest. You're don't want your money to be wasted on a vacation that could possibly be miserable. We backed out of a big family reunion vacation this summer because my uncle was going. He beats his wife and has the mouth of a sailor, so I was just honest and told everyone that we get to go on only one vacation a year and I'm not about to chance having my money go down the drain.

 

[destiny]

We won't go on vacation with another couple unless we stay in a SEPERATE hotel room.

Just for the record, the cabin has two bedrooms! :D

 

[Nikki]

We won't go on vacation with another couple unless we stay in a SEPERATE hotel room.

Just for the record, the cabin has two bedrooms! :D

Yeah, but you're still sharing the same "home" (kitchen, tv, etc...)

 

[destiny]

Nikki I plan on getting out early and getting in late, the only problem I foresee is the bathroom priviledges. :-?

 

[Nikki]

Nikki I plan on getting out early and getting in late, the only problem I foresee is the bathroom priviledges. :-?

I hope it all works out in your favor. I really do. Vacationing with another couple CAN be fun. But it can also make your vacation miserable because if there's tension, you will be able to feel it and it's hard to act as though nothing is wrong, you know? There is one couple we know that we will vacation with. My best friend and my hubby's best friend got married....so we're pretty much all best friends. My best friend is more like a sister. She practically lived with me when we were kids. If they're doing something to get on my nerves, or if they're fighting, I have no problem telling them that they're making things miserable for me. Being upfront and honest always works, IMO. You don't have to be ugly about it....just be honest though.

 

[destiny]

Update:

God is really moving in the marriage of the couple I mentioned in this thread, they are in close relationship with Him now and they are doing so much better!!
God is faithful.

 

[Nikki]

Update:

God is really moving in the marriage of the couple I mentioned in this thread, they are in close relationship with Him now and they are doing so much better!!
God is faithful.

YAY!!!!!