Overcoming Negative Thoughts

[Focus on the Family]

The ant is one of the most annoying bugs by far. One ant I can handle. But ants tend to have friends. One tiny ant can quickly become a whole army swarming the banana on my kitchen counter. So as I prepare for the Great Ant War that happens in my home, I would like to talk about a different ant war we all face.

ANT is an acronym for an automatic negative thought.* When things don’t go our way or we’re caught off guard, we tend to overreact and imagine the worst. In challenging or stressful moments, an ANT can pop into our minds, which can trigger another ANT, till our brains are swarming with unwanted thoughts.

Identifying ANTs​

There are four main types of ANTs:

• All or nothing

• Predicting and mind reading

• Minimizing or catastrophizing

• Always me or never me

Let’s look at an example of each type.

Imagine seeing a friend at church. She briefly makes eye contact with you but then looks away with a scowl on her face.

Her expression catches you off guard, and you begin to think the worst: Whoa, what did I do to her? Then your first ANT pops up: She’s upset with me (predicting and mind reading). That first ANT may lead to an invasion of ANTs: That’s the end of our friendship (minimizing or catastrophizing). There’s nothing I can do to fix this (all or nothing). I always end up losing friends (always me or never me).

Panic and anxiety mount as these ANTs overwhelm your mind. But your friend never said what was upsetting her.

Our brains are prone to automatically focus on the negatives in an attempt to quickly resolve problems in our lives. But just because we perceive a problem doesn’t mean our interpretation or reaction is always accurate.

Conquering the ANTs​

We’ve all dealt with ANTs. But as Christians, we have the Holy Spirit living in us so we don’t have to resign ourselves to overreactions and worst-case scenarios. The Spirit fills us with His power to “destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).

There are simple steps we can take in partnership with God to evaluate and renew our thoughts. I call them the 5 R’s for renewing your mind.

Recognize​

Throughout your day, be intentional about checking in with yourself. During your check-in, notice if you’re feeling off. Do your best to relax your body, and take a few slow, deep breaths. Try not to beat yourself up if your day isn’t going as planned. Once you feel more settled, identify any specific, unhelpful thoughts.

Record​

Mentally review or record in writing a situation that’s bothering you, along with your thoughts about it. Choose one thought that is most concerning to you. I recommend writing your thoughts on paper, since it can help you get out of your head and observe what you’re thinking with more clarity. The worksheet on page 52 is a great place to start.

Request​

You don’t have to deal with these thoughts alone. Invite Jesus into your struggle, and give Him permission to work more freely in your life. Ask a parent, mentor or friend to help you sort through your thoughts.

Rationalize​

By asking good questions, you can identify ANTs and challenge your negative thoughts. Start by identifying one ANT. Then ask yourself these questions:

• Do I recognize any of the four types of ANTs in this thought?

• Is there any evidence for or against this thought?

• What would I say to a friend who was having this thought?

• What are the pros and cons of thinking this way?

• How might I feel about this thought in a day, week or month?

• Is there another way to look at the situation surrounding this thought?

Replace​

Based on the answers to these questions, you can begin replacing ANTs with more positive thoughts. The goal isn’t to cover up concerns but to deal with problems in a more helpful way that avoids spiraling reactions.

Let’s go back to the earlier example of your friend scowling. Instead of assuming she’s angry with you and you’ll likely lose her friendship, replace those extreme negative thoughts with a more balanced thought like this: Whoa. Why did she make that face? She looks upset. I need to check in with her so I know how to support her.

Learning to implement the 5 R’s will likely feel challenging and time-consuming at first. But the more you practice, the easier it will be to stop your spiraling thoughts. When you learn to take your negative thoughts captive and give them to God, then “the peace of God . . . will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7). Peace and a sound mind await you in Christ. So be patient and face all your ANTs, knowing their days of swarming are numbered because you don’t have to face them alone.

Renewing Your Mind Worksheet​

Recognize​

On a scale of 1 to 4, how do I feel?

1 Amazing 2 ok 3 I’ve Been Better 4 Rough

Take a moment to slowly scan your body, working your way from your head to your toes. Ask yourself, Do my muscles feel relaxed or tense? Pay special attention to how fast or slow you’re breathing.

Take a moment to relax areas of discomfort (try stretching and unclenching), and take several deep breaths.

Record​

Think of your situation.

Write down what happened.

How did the situation make me feel?

Circle all that apply:

Angry

Annoyed

Closed off

Concerned

Confused

Defensive

Distressed

Helpless

Indifferent

Sad

Uncomfortable

Worried

What unhelpful thoughts did I have?

Request​

Invite Jesus into your struggle.

Write your prayer here:

Rationalize​

Use the “rationalize” questions in the article to break down one negative thought at a time. Start with the one that’s most concerning to you.

Replace​

Look back at the negative thoughts you had. What are a few balanced and helpful thoughts that could replace your unhelpful thought? Try to come up with more than one option.

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