Please help! Need advice on an issue with my girlfriend...

[chrisbow22]

It's kind of a long story, but I'll try to keep it brief. I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. Her and my sister have come to a recent place in their relationship where they don't particularly care for each other. I've tried helping them sort it out but things just keep getting worse. The other day, my girlfriend posted some personal conversations on facebook between her and my sister. Half of it was lies, and all of it was personal. I read it and I was enraged!! My girlfriend is friends with several of my family members who could have seen what she wrote. So, basically, my girlfriend slandered my sister's name and I am so angry at her that I haven't spoken to her in days. My gut feeling is to stick up for my family but, of course, my girlfriend is mad at ME for not taking HER side! My sister can be rude, but it doesn't justify what my girlfriend did. This has honestly pushed me over the edge and I am ready to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow! Am I overreacting?! Was I wrong to get involved and try to make peace? I can't take it anymore!

 

[Hitch]

Chances are that it will grow worse over time rather than better, and the elephant in the room is spelt 'girlfriend'. When its wife/family you man up and stand with and for her. When its friend/family ,it just dosnt compare.

My .02 based on the tiny window you provided.

 

[Chris]

chrisbow you have found yourself in a tricky predicament haven't you? the people who need to grow up are your GF and your sister. What comes to mind for you is this.
If you find a sensible godly or even just plain wise older person they can help mediate it back to sensibility. Until one of the arguing parties stops and shows maturity and consideration it will never end. It wil just keep getting more bitter.

if you have to pick between your family and a girlfriend, i would pick family, possibly take her off friends on facebook till she cools down and things blow over.- you need to protect your family until things sort themselves out. that would cut communication while tempers are flaring.

 

[handy]

Ahh, Facebook! Where every personal grievance can be posted for all to see!

I would stand with your sister for two reasons:

A: She's your sister. I agree with Hitch, wife before sister, sister before girlfriend.
B: Your girlfriend was in the wrong. Not only telling lies, but pasting them on Facebook!?!

Since you've been together for such a long time, I would try to talk with your girlfriend and give her the opportunity to try to reconcile with your sister...but if she isn't open to that...then yes, I think it would be a good idea to move on. The reason to have a girlfriend is to learn whether or not she would be a good life's mate. This one doesn't look like she's shaping up to be that.

 

[th1b.taylor]

My friend, you are a wise man for having this girlfriend for a year and a half. That said... there is a rule I never bend on, magnify what you see by ten and decide if you can live with it. You are seeing her very best right now and it always, and I repeat, always, grows larger after marriage! You do not truly know a person until ten years after the marriage and truthfully, twenty years into my marriage, I am still learning about my wife and I'm still learning how to love her.

The second rule I'm going to give you is my first rule when counseling young people on marriage. If you a man look carefully at her mother, that is who you will be married to in twenty years. Young ladies, look at his father, that is who you will be married to in twenty years. After you have the answers to these two questions you will know if you should be married to this person.

The rule you have been given about sister first is solid advise also!

 

[theLords]

If you a man look carefully at her mother, that is who you will be married to in twenty years. Young ladies, look at his father, that is who you will be married to in twenty years. After you have the answers to these two questions you will know if you should be married to this person.

I don't think this is fair. It's a stereotype, not everyone turns out to be like their parents.

As for this situation, I agree with everyone else. Family before friends. Even girlfriends. GF's come and go, family is forever.