renee1987 I'll pray for you. Your councilor be it a professional, or a pastor should hear both sides. Should act as a neutral type party tring to get both of you to set goals to 1) understand what you are doing to each other 2) understand where you want to go in the marriage and 3) what is needed on both parts to figure out how to get there. If your partner is doing there part and your not doing your part it may feel at times as thou the pastor is not neutral anymore, that's ok as long as once you've made the decisions needed and your doing it the pastor goes back to the neutral role. He should do the same to your husband if he's not doing his part.. If you feel that he's only hearing your husband's story and the 2 are going against you then maybe time to find a different councilor. That being said if it's that you are not doing your part, finding a new councilor isn't going to help. Right now I wouldn't be looking for someone else. I know it feels as thou your missing something but honestly you need to take care of what you are doing now and not put someone else in the middle of your situation. If it comes to divorce, not saying it should, then first you need to have your divorce final, then heal from the ordeal, then figure out what went wrong on your side, then understand that and try not to bring that into a new relationship.. then you maybe ready to look again.. at this stage none of that can happen because your not sure where to go here. I wouldn't just run for the divorce thou, or you could be finding yourself doing this again and again.