Resolve for actions to allow for marriage

[Clinton]

Ok, please be kind....

I became a christian by baptism in 2009 and truely havent know what a true christian is until recently. I am still a baby christian if you will. I am 32 years old. I met my person of intrest at a previous job I held. She was married and been trying to divorce him for several years. (She was not a practicing christian at the time nor was her husband) We fell into darkness with adultry. Two months later she was divorced and a month after that we were living in an apartment together. I was not a christain at the time either.

Since then we were together for 4ish years on and off. In which we had 1 child together out of wedlock and before 1st child was born she found christ again and really found him too! She moved through several churches landing in a new and upcoming church in a town near here. I moved out in 2007ish. I lived with friends for 2 years after hoping something would change and we would work things out. I finally settled and bought a home. At this time i still was not a christian.

In 2009 we settle on joint custody etc for our first child and before we knew it out of sin we were expecting a second child. :O Yes, this story is a tough one. All through this time we were up and down in our relationship and it was bad and resented one another but we or I still love her and still do today. I begged and pleaded to marry once I had a tiny grasp of what I was to do biblically. She said no and found that when her church she was in at the time stated that she must marry she left the church.

Her situation is now stated as and this is where I need help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She was married, she wanted the divorce due to adultry and leaving him because there was not anything for her there with him. Both at some point did however commit adultry with other person just at different times in the marriage. The husband did on numerous times and she finally did with me and that ended the marriage.

She has been led by her elders (2 men in the church) that she is to stay unmarried and a "bride of christ" by the scriptures that have been decifered from the bible.
I know I have the ability to forgive all the things I feel were wronged with me and to ask for forgiveness where I had wronged her. For my children and my chrisitanity wish to court her and ash her "Elders" for a beginning to a new relationship with her in a Godly manner.

She has stonewalled me (since she is a heavily devowed christian now) and follows what her "Elders" tell her that she is to stay single and a producer for the children. I produce 1k every month for support by the way and have visitation with my kids 3 overnights per week and am a fully participating Father in a christian home the best of my knowledge, which grows as I learn.

What im also concerned about is: Is there scripture that justifies that she stay single to what she is saying? She told me finally after 3 years that I must ask her "Elders" the 2 church leaders if I can request to talk with her in a manner fitting to the beginning of a relationship. Im doubtful and feel I will be laughed at. I feel that they will look at me like, do you know what you did, do you know what kind of crap you both went through and you "Want to marry her"? Are you serious! AND MY ANSWER IS STILL YES! I know Gods Grace can do anything and I know I have the patience to work through anything if we work together in a Godly sense.

I am prayful.

I read the book the past two weeks called "Reforming Marriage" By Dennis Wilson and feel fully I can meet those requirement of me as a father and leader of a christian home. Im very excited and am in awe in a great way to what lies ahead for me.

Please let me know if there is a biblical way we can be together in marriage or am I violating or causing sin to marry an adulterer?

I have never married and have been single for the past 3 years. I am 32 she is 40. If you have further questions please ask and i will give details.

 

[Tina]

Ok, please be kind....

Looks like people have been kind to you by not responding to your thread ..... :biglol

Both at some point did however commit adultry with other person just at different times in the marriage. The husband did on numerous times and she finally did with me and that ended the marriage.

In other words, you caused her marriage to end.. You are the marriage wrecker! 2

Is there scripture that justifies that she stay single to what she is saying?

Indeed there is ...


1 Corinthians 7:10-11
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

Please let me know if there is a biblical way we can be together in marriage or am I violating or causing sin to marry an adulterer?

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but yes, the Bible says anyone who marries a divorced woman is an adulterer.


Matthew 5:32
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.



But then again ...

If her ex-husband was an unbeliever, the Bible does make provision for separation and divorce (1 Corinthians 7:15), although that grounds may not be used as a reason for divorce in her case as both parties had committed adultery.

As for you, you had pre-marital sexual relations with a married woman, caused her marriage to break down and bore 2 kids with her out of wedlock.

But now that she is a devout Christian and so are you, and with sincere intentions of bringing up your kids in a good Christian family environment, I don't believe God is going to hold your sexual sins against either you or her.

Jesus did not even condemn the woman with 5 husbands, or the woman caught in adultery. He was instead full of compassion for them and said “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.†(John 8:11)

“He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.â€


While church elders and leaders have all the right and authority to dispense sound biblical advice regarding marriage, I don't think they have the right to stop a couple from getting married regardless of reasons and circumstances.

Adultery, divorce and remarriage are not abominable sins that God will not forgive.

 

[Blazin Bones]

Beautifully handled Tina.

I would like to add one thought. Odd are that you were already an adulterer before you met this woman. When Jesus spoke these teachings, he was making clear the absolute wickedness of man. What some people liek to ignore is that this portion of the sermon on the most was all about man's guilt. It doesn't get anywhere near the forgiveness of God.

Tina is very right that you both have sinned, and therefore the penalty would be separation. Just as when you sin, your are bound to eternal separation from God. When we repent and are made new, therefore our lives are changed, this must include the washing away of the guilt of failed marraiges.

Look at it this way. We are married to sin. We've lusted after sin our entire lives, making us adulters with sin and its wages, death. Then Jesus comes into our lives, and offers us a union with him. In this way, Jesus is described in Ephesians as the bridegroom of the church, the Pure groom coming for the adulterous bride. If we apply the theology of some to this picture, Jesus would be commiting adultry with the church. THIS CANNOT BE!

I cannot say I completely understand God's will for those left through broken marraiges, but what I do beleive is that manis not giving God's grace enough credit.