Seeking God’s Guidance in Love and Relationships

[Tobiasnaceste]

Hello everyone,

I’m 18 years old, and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I really desire to find someone who loves God, follows Him wholeheartedly, and will love me and be loyal. My dream is to have a relationship that lasts for a lifetime, centered on faith. I’ve had the chance to talk to two girls who claimed to be Christian—they read the Bible and presented themselves as believers—but unfortunately, things didn’t work out with either of them.

I’m at a point in my life where I feel a bit lost. I’m trying my best to grow closer to Jesus and live according to His teachings, but when it comes to love and relationships, I’m full of questions. I really want to know what the Bible says about these things. How should I approach finding a partner? What should I do or not do? Is it okay to pray for a partner who looks or acts like someone I know, or is that wrong? I know that sounds like it might be, but I’m asking out of curiosity.

I also wonder if I’m even ready for a relationship yet. I’ve heard people say that maybe I don’t have a godly woman in my life because I’m not yet worthy of one. If that’s the case, how do I prepare myself? How do I know if I’ve met the right person or if there’s someone out there who is my “soulmate”? Should I even be thinking about this at my age, or should I focus on other things?

There are so many questions I have about love, marriage, and God’s plan for my future. I want to have a beautiful Christian family one day, but I also want to walk according to God’s will. What advice do you have for me, and how can I trust God’s timing and purpose for my life in this area?

I’m grateful for any wisdom you can share with me.

Thank you!

 

[Who Me]

also wonder if I’m even ready for a relationship yet. I’ve heard people say that maybe I don’t have a godly woman in my life because I’m not yet worthy of one

That is a cruel thing to say to anyone.
May I suggest that the next time you hear it, that you throw it back asking ' What should I be doing to be worthy of a " godly " woman? '

Two links for you to look at :-https://winteryknight.com/2018/12/15/william-lane-craig-offers-advice-to-christians-considering-marriage-3/

This is the Christian philosopher professors view how Christians should prepare for marriage.
Read it or listen to it and discuss with your churches youth worker.

Try this link:-https://winteryknight.com/2020/08/16/a-lesson-about-men-for-marriage-minded-women-from-the-movie-high-noon-5/

Watching the western ' High Noon ' a preparation for marriage!
Well do watch it and note the reactions of the heroine and the reaction of the X girlfriend.
Any girl who can identify with the X is worthy pursuing, but have nothing to do with those who identify with the selfish shortsighted heroine.

General advice, try to relax and just talk to girls, don't go into a conversation looking to arrange a date, just chat.
You will find that some girls will start looking for you as they enjoy talking with you.
They are the ones that can be asked if they would like to go for a coffee and depending how that goes to another for a date.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

It is a blessing to have a partner in Christ by your side, but if there's none available, and you still have determined to devote your life to God, abandon all thoughts of dating, marriage and children, take a vow of celibacy, and pray to God for discipline and concentration to guard you from temptation. "Celibacy" is not an ugly, antiquated word, singleness is not a shame either, but rather a badge of honor. You can admire a woman for her charm, beauty or wit, but keep your distance, act in a professional and respectful way with good manners, don't get personally involved. The best example of this I can demonstrate to you is the kind of relationship between an artist and his muse, where the woman serves as the source of inspiration and imagination, he loves her, adores her, and creates amazing artworks about her, but never seeks to possess her as his own, because she comes and goes like a wave, she doesn't belong to him, nor him her.

This point of life where you feel lost and clueless is an experience we're all familiar with, it's dubbed "quarter life crisis", and it's a unique modern day challenge of this vascillation between relationship, career and other non-profit personal pursuits of passion. It is written Genesis that "man shall join his wife and the two shall become one flesh", and a common misconception is taking it as mandate instead of a general design, and consequnetly, relationship, marriage, kids, white picket fence, the whole bourgeois shebang becomes an idol. Now it is the center piece of the "prosperity gospel", you've got pastors flaunting their happy family, Christian influencers doling out relationship advice, piles of self help books with a Christian label. These are certain blessings of God, but NOT what our salvation and sanctification rely upon. We're a holy priesthood, called out of this world to serve our Lord and Savior, our ultimate reward is an everlasting life with God in heaven. All these fleeting worldly pleasures and prosperities, especially "love life" are nothing but a distraction. The only relationship we ought to pursue, develop and cherish is the one with God though Jesus.

So my advice is to let the Holy Spirit guide, let Him unveil God's plan for you, concentrate on him and follow through, and in it you'll find joie de vivre - buoyant enjoyment of life. Join a bible study, meditate on God's words, discuss with your peers, pray to God regularly especially before meal, and aslo build a habit of exercise, even just a simple jog or a bike ride. And if you're artistic, listen to some classical music and try to learn playing an instrument, let your soul take flight with the melody. God has so much in store for us, all it takes is a keen eye to discover. Don't dwell on the vile passion from your nether region and let it blind you. You're not a slave of your fleshly desire, Lord Jesus has set you free!