[__ Prayer __] Self Destruction

[Dyna]

This prayer request is for myself.

I got into this 2 year relationship with a boy (obviously lol) and he's a believer ... heck, he was the one who brought me to salvation. And well ... we broke up because we just had so many things going on, and the main one I was struggling with the most was my jealousy.

For the past 4 .. 5 months now, I've been constantly getting jealous. I feel almost my brain go haywire even if he looks at a girl, I don't know if anybody else has been through this, hopefully I'm not sounding crazy but I know how crazy it is.

His father is a pastor, and my ex and his father are doing a tremendous job on helping me through this. But they keep telling me how simple it is to just give up my jealousy, and of course they'd always tell me, "Give it to God, pray about it." And I have, HARD.

Nothing's happening, nothing's changed. Is it just me? Am I praying improperly? I feel like I've given my all to God, but why hasn't this been taken away? I feel almost trapped in my jealousy and insecurities that it's slowly driving me insane. He doesn't deserve all this jealousy crap I've been giving him and I'm always tremendously guilty the day after.

So I've come to my knees, and only hope that you guys will pray for me. I'm at my last end and I'm desperate. And if anybody's got any experiences to share with me or advice, the better :-D

Thank you all so much, God bless you all :D

 

[Caroline H]

Dyna, welcome to 123! I'm sorry that you are going through such a time of insecurity, it can be maddening to be consumed with jelousy. I will pray for you and your ex.

You mentioned that you have prayed about it and given the issue to God, but I would take it a step further and ask you this...Is Jesus the first desire of your heart? The reason I ask is because until I decided that no person on this earth can fill my heart like Jesus, I was never satisfied. My sense of security now comes from knowing that I am His and He is mine, and that nothing can ever separate me from Him and that He is always with me. I think that if you can get to the point of making Him the desire of your heart, then jelousy will have a hard time being of any importance. Not to say that you won't love your boyfriend, but that you will have the assurance that no matter what happens, Jesus is still there.

Hope this helps some

 

[Dyna]

Dyna, welcome to 123! I'm sorry that you are going through such a time of insecurity, it can be maddening to be consumed with jelousy. I will pray for you and your ex.

You mentioned that you have prayed about it and given the issue to God, but I would take it a step further and ask you this...Is Jesus the first desire of your heart? The reason I ask is because until I decided that no person on this earth can fill my heart like Jesus, I was never satisfied. My sense of security now comes from knowing that I am His and He is mine, and that nothing can ever separate me from Him and that He is always with me. I think that if you can get to the point of making Him the desire of your heart, then jelousy will have a hard time being of any importance. Not to say that you won't love your boyfriend, but that you will have the assurance that no matter what happens, Jesus is still there.

Hope this helps some

Hmm, you know what?? People were always asking me that ... "Is Jesus the first desire of my heart?" I would say yes, but then I know you'd rebuttal back that I wouldn't be jealous anymore. But .... how do you make Jesus the first desire of your heart? Maybe that'll be something I'll pray for.

 

[Blazin Bones]

Hello again, Dyna.

I know a thing or two about Jealousy just from the last 7 months or so that caromurp and I have been together. I refrained from dating for several years, and at first, I wanted to do everything I could to proect Caroline frompeople I didn't trust or respect. Prayer helped, but learning to overcome jealousy takes a personal change on our behalf as well. Caroline made it very clear that she did not want to have to worry about a jealous/controling boyfriend. After some talking, I came down to two things which made sense to me.

First, Jealousy comes from a lack of trust. It's hard to trust anyone in todays world, but if we are looking to pursue someone, we as Christians need to not only trust the character of the one we are with, but we should be able to trust in God's sovereignty in bringing two people together. I knew for sure that God had brought Caroline and I together. I know I can trust God, and so I also know I can trust Caroline because she was brought to me by God.

Secondly, I let my past determine how i was going to trust Caroline in the future. Growing up, I had few people I could trust, and when I did learn to trust someone, they always seemed to leave me. It wasn't until several years after I had moved on from these things that I came to realize how this was still affecting me. Part of me was waiting to be disappointed. Expecting caroline to disappoint me wasn't fair to her. She wasn't part of my past, I was loking for her to be a part of my future. It's not right when I box her in with other people who have let me down, because she hadn't even been a part of my life yet.

Perhaps something of this helps with some perspective. I believe God can remove jealousy from a person, but it doesn't hurt to evaluate your life to find why you might be jealous in the first place either.

 

[Dyna]

Hello again, Dyna.

I know a thing or two about Jealousy just from the last 7 months or so that caromurp and I have been together. I refrained from dating for several years, and at first, I wanted to do everything I could to proect Caroline frompeople I didn't trust or respect. Prayer helped, but learning to overcome jealousy takes a personal change on our behalf as well. Caroline made it very clear that she did not want to have to worry about a jealous/controling boyfriend. After some talking, I came down to two things which made sense to me.

First, Jealousy comes from a lack of trust. It's hard to trust anyone in todays world, but if we are looking to pursue someone, we as Christians need to not only trust the character of the one we are with, but we should be able to trust in God's sovereignty in bringing two people together. I knew for sure that God had brought Caroline and I together. I know I can trust God, and so I also know I can trust Caroline because she was brought to me by God.

Secondly, I let my past determine how i was going to trust Caroline in the future. Growing up, I had few people I could trust, and when I did learn to trust someone, they always seemed to leave me. It wasn't until several years after I had moved on from these things that I came to realize how this was still affecting me. Part of me was waiting to be disappointed. Expecting caroline to disappoint me wasn't fair to her. She wasn't part of my past, I was loking for her to be a part of my future. It's not right when I box her in with other people who have let me down, because she hadn't even been a part of my life yet.

Perhaps something of this helps with some perspective. I believe God can remove jealousy from a person, but it doesn't hurt to evaluate your life to find why you might be jealous in the first place either.

Thanks so much for sharing your experience! It's good to know that I'm not alone with this annoying struggle. :crazyeyes: And I totally agree, trust is a huge factor. Because it's no secret that you can't trust anyone in our crazy society .... and if you do find trust, hold onto that person. And I never thought of relationships like that, where God brings two people together. That weirdly brings comfort to my heart haha.


And oh man, the past. Yeah, I feel like that's dragging me down as well.

I hope my prayers and other people's prayers will help me, and hopefully to learn to develop my sense of character as well. Did it take you a while to get rid of your jealousy? And ... are you still jealous to this day?

Thanks once again

 

[herryjohn]

do

do it better

 

[Irishman]

I have found that, when we try to give everything to God, we hold back. We reach that break down point, we (literally) get on our knees. We beg and plead with God to take this from us. And right when we start to feel Him take it, we draw back some part of it. We think ,OK I've got this. Then we start the cycle over again. Each time we cry out "Take it Lord", then he opens his arms and takes it, and we draw it back and say"Ive got it now".
What you have to realize, is that, when we draw it back, God doesnt draw away. He keeps his arms outstreched to us, in support, Love, and adoration. When you finally let it go, you'll know. You'll feel His love filling you up, chasing away the jealousy, and leaving an imprint of His love. Then you'll be able to see your friend, through God's eyes. And you won't be jealous anymore. You'll want to share him with everyone

 

[adam k]

i know jeolousy can be a hard thing to deal with, i mean it sucks. But don't worry it's normal. Just ask God to rid you of it. God is bigger than any problem that we have and i assure you he's bigger than jeoulousy. Just trust God (even though that's hard to do sometimes) and he'll show you just how big he is. :D