Sex before marriage

[doubleheman]

What are your views on this subject?

I have already had sex before marriage I was in a relationship with a girl and I thought that it was true love, it was not. It was a short relationship (1 year) and I dunno what to think do you think god put this girl in my life for a reason? Or was it more of a test that I failed.

Then again god forgives us if we ask for forgiveness?

I'm so confused.

 

[abide]

What are your views on this subject?

I have already had sex before marriage I was in a relationship with a girl and I thought that it was true love, it was not. It was a short relationship (1 year) and I dunno what to think do you think god put this girl in my life for a reason? Or was it more of a test that I failed.



I'm so confused.

Then again god forgives us if we ask for forgiveness? God is a forgiving God. Once you ask for forgiveness he will grant it. In future, seek God's guidance when it comes to a choice of a mate and he will guide you. Be patient. Don't be confused, we all have sin...

 

[WIP]

Forgiveness is not a license to continue in sin. We are called to repentance. As He told the woman accused of adultery, "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more."

 

[iLOVE]

"Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12

"Everything is permissible for me"--(refers to the fact Christianity is not a religion which consists of rules, etc.) but not everything is beneficial (not profitable)."Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything (Grace does not give a license to sin, but rather liberty to live a Holy Life).

 

[Matthew G]

I don't think I can say it any better than has already been said. Unfortunately, I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt and sent it back. In all honesty, even with my wife, it's something today I wish I hadn't done. Sex changes a relationship in a way that's difficult to describe. And maybe this doesn't make sense, but my wife and I had both had a few (literally, not a sugar-coat) partners before we met, and we had intercourse before being married, also. We had more fights when we first got married over the people we had been with prior to even knowing each other existed than we did anything else.

Like I said, probably doesn't make sense, but looking back almost a decade later I think it's because often it doesn't take much for jealousy to rear its ugly head. Even if the only person you've ever been with (before marriage) is your spouse, that can lead down a path of "Maybe if we wouldn't have been so stupid" or "If we would've waited I could've seen how you really are" or a plethora of other paths that don't lead anywhere good when a disagreement crops up.

I hope I'm not losing you, and that I'm at least making a little bit of sense. As I've said before on this site, I'm not a psychiatrist, and I don't understand all the inner workings of the human brain. But I can tell you from experience that resisting that temptation is a necessity. I'm the father of two daughters and a son, and when they're old enough, I'm going to have "the talk" with them, and include the issues it caused in our marriage when we first started.

And I would like to echo the previous posts that, even though we are under grace, that's not an excuse to continue in sin.

"Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

"What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?" - Romans 5:20 - 6:2 (ESV)

 

[Carolyn]

Matthew, I have seen morè kids who think, :well yòu did it and yòu turned out OK. It would better to say that it happened to one òf your best friends (who happened to be your wife) and not tell them who it was. I don't know why kids thinks that way, but no matter how muçh you tell them about the pain it caused they think that they want to learn their own lessons and that it won't happen to them.
God can use our mistakes for His glory, but we still must suffer the çonsequenses. David's son born out of wedlock died. But God used Bathsheba in the linage of Christ through Solomon on Mary's genealogy. David just suffered horribly for the mistakes he made as a husband and father.
Gò and do not sin again is the admonition of Jesus because over and over we are told by Peter, Paul and 2 other writers in the New Testament that there will be no fornicators in heaven! (those who are having sex outside of marriage) . The stress in the Greek is that those who continue to practice these evil things shall not be found in heaven. Stive instead to follow the Holy Spirit and to walk with Him, practicing good.

 

[Matthew G]

Matthew, I have seen morè kids who think, :well yòu did it and yòu turned out OK. It would better to say that it happened to one òf your best friends (who happened to be your wife) and not tell them who it was. I don't know why kids thinks that way, but no matter how muçh you tell them about the pain it caused they think that they want to learn their own lessons and that it won't happen to them.

I can see your point in saying so, but I have to disagree. I don't think that, when we are being asked for advice (particularly scriptural advice), that we should begin giving that advice under false pretenses.