[__ Prayer __] Stage 4 Cancer

[NinaMMitchell]

Some of you may remember a thread I started several months ago about extremely harsh feelings I had for my father-in-law, and how miserable my husband and I were/are living in my in-law's home. Well, we just found out that my f-i-l has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. They did a biopsy last Tuesday, and he has yet to wake up from the anesthesia. For a couple of weeks before he went into the hospital he was very confused and lethargic. The drs. said the confusion was probably dementia (he's 72), but they can't explain the lethargy. Since the biopsy last tuesday, he'll open his eyes very briefly, but it's rare, and occasionally he'll mumble something. Also, because of his age and the fact that he's not alert, they say he's not a candidate for cancer treatment, and that we should consider just letting him live as long as he can without treatment, which will probably be 6 months to 2 years. Another problem, my mother in law is 100% unwilling to put him in a rest home. I can understand that, but I can also see the upside to doing it because he weighs over 300 lbs, is total dead weight, incontinent (which means we have to constantly change his sheets because medicaid won't pay for adult diapers, and they're too expensive other wise) and is not able to eat because he's not awake. Then there's the biggest problem, once he's gone, it won't be long before we will have nowhere to live because they won't get his check anymore, and won't be able to pay the mortgage. They can barally pay it now. This morning I wrote down this verse, I THINK it's John 8:13 "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. In this world you will have many troubles and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world". It's my favorite verse, and I gave it to my mother in law and told her to keep it with her. She told me she's kept it in her pocket and has been reading it off and on all day. Please keep us in your prayers.

 

[AirDancer]

Nina, I'm so sorry for you & your husband, and for your in-laws. Of course, you are all in my prayers.

I understand about Medicare not paying for everything. What you might consider doing: writing an actual letter to the manufacturers of adult diapers, explain the situation .... they might be able to assist with some of the costs so those won't be such a burden. No guarantees...but it's worth a try.

Medicare might cover the cost for a visiting nurse ... but it will take some investigating to see what they will or won't pay.

Blessings to you & your family

 

[roger_dodger]

That's so difficult for everyone involved. I express my sympathies and will pray for your entire family.

Our loving Father in Heaven, I pray for the family of Nina whose father in law has cancer. I pray that You will be with them in this time of sadness and grief that they may be comforted even as Jesus told us "Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted." I pray, Lord God, that You would strengthen them and sustain their faith at this time of hurt and anguish. I pray, merciful Lord, that You would help them as a family, giving wisdom in making decisions and that You would financially provide for them in this time of need. I ask this in Jesus' Holy Name. Amen.

 

[NinaMMitchell]

Thank you both very much.

 

[God's_gift]

Some of you may remember a thread I started several months ago about extremely harsh feelings I had for my father-in-law, and how miserable my husband and I were/are living in my in-law's home. Well, we just found out that my f-i-l has stage 4 pancreatic cancer. They did a biopsy last Tuesday, and he has yet to wake up from the anesthesia. For a couple of weeks before he went into the hospital he was very confused and lethargic. The drs. said the confusion was probably dementia (he's 72), but they can't explain the lethargy. Since the biopsy last tuesday, he'll open his eyes very briefly, but it's rare, and occasionally he'll mumble something. Also, because of his age and the fact that he's not alert, they say he's not a candidate for cancer treatment, and that we should consider just letting him live as long as he can without treatment, which will probably be 6 months to 2 years. Another problem, my mother in law is 100% unwilling to put him in a rest home. I can understand that, but I can also see the upside to doing it because he weighs over 300 lbs, is total dead weight, incontinent (which means we have to constantly change his sheets because medicaid won't pay for adult diapers, and they're too expensive other wise) and is not able to eat because he's not awake. Then there's the biggest problem, once he's gone, it won't be long before we will have nowhere to live because they won't get his check anymore, and won't be able to pay the mortgage. They can barally pay it now. This morning I wrote down this verse, I THINK it's John 8:13 "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. In this world you will have many troubles and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world". It's my favorite verse, and I gave it to my mother in law and told her to keep it with her. She told me she's kept it in her pocket and has been reading it off and on all day. Please keep us in your prayers.

honestly...i'm teary while reading this Nina. You will certainly be in my prayers. I pray that the Lord will heal your f-i-l compeletely and if it's really his time i pray that the Lord will not prolong his pain and agony in that sickness. I pray that the Lord will comfort you and give you peace. I also pray for financial provision for your daily needs. In Jesus Christ Name , Amen.
The Lord will never abandon you , always remember that.
Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

 

[NinaMMitchell]

He died today. I'm so thankful he's not suffering anymore, and I'm not really worried about the financial aspect because I know the Lord will provide. What I am worried about is my mother in law. My husband and I were not there when it happened, but when we did get home, she was in hysterics. She was sitting on a chair shaking like a leaf, hot as fire, and she kept saying he was coming back, he's got to come back, he'll come back, he told me he was coming back, and things like that. There were a bunch of other people there with her, and my husband could not see her that way, so he left the room. Well she calmed down eventually because we gave her a nerve pill prescribed by the doctor. But I'm truely worried about her. It broke my heart when she went to bed tonight. She's sleeping in a little cot in the room with her oldest son and when she laid down, she curled up and put the covers over her and she just looked like she felt like her life was over. Imagine losing your husband earlier in the day and then going to bed that night knowing he's gone and he's not coming back. All I can hope for is that God takes me and my husband together, because I couldn't go through what she is now, and I know my husband couldn't stand losing me either. I know what I said about my father in law in my other thread, but he wasn't always that way. There was a time, before he came home from the nursing home, less than a year ago, when I loved him like he was my own father, and I love him now.

There was one time when he was still at the nursing home for rehab, and he was in his wheelchair but he wanted to lay down. And he was telling his wife, "I want to lay down, my a*& hurts," and she said, "It doesn't hurt that much", and he said "You think I'm lying? You ask the Lord, 'Lord does his a&^ hurt?' and she was He says" (pause) "Go on, ask him". I guess you had to be there, but it was hilarious at the time.

I was telling my husband today that I could just imagine what his dad said when he met Jesus, "Well hey there Lord". And it's funny because that's how he greeted everyone.

Anyway, we didn't expect it to happen this quick, but it did and hopefully we'll be able to move on. But I sure do miss him.