Pizza
Member
- Feb 25, 2014
- 3,452
- 844
So yesterday, I went in for my 'nose job'. The doctor wanted to open up my left nostril's airway so that when I sleep, I don't dry out the membrane so much. See, I was born with a narrow passageway up in the left side of my nose in the area (I guess, judging from where it hurts) about 3/8 inch in. As I've aged, the drying of the membrane has allowed virus and bacteria to attach easily - so I've been sick a LOT in the last 5 years.
I was an easy sell - I've had four surgeries before this one and once I healed from my surgery, my original problem has always been gone.
But, messing with my nose bothers me. AND, I started to get worried about waking up in pain and just how uncomfortable this was going to be. So, as I was laying in my bed in my room, I did tell the doctor that I was trying to calm down. He told me I was his second operation like this today and that he got the first one done in 11 minutes, and that this is really nothing, simple, like he told me in his office weeks ago.
I told him I needed about three rum and cokes. The nurse said, "Oh, I"m putting something in your I.V. that will take care of YOU!" (I saw the clock in my room and it was 12:31pm)
In under 2 minutes, they started to roll me into the hallway. I said, "Wow..."
You feel it don't you?
Yea, it's like my whole body is happy and warm - like I've had five rum and cokes - without the coke." By the time they rolled me into the O.R. I thought, "This is SO much FUN!"
I told them the O.R. "doesn't look ANYTHING like the O.R. on MASH....
I said something about the lights on the ceiling - I did not see the doctor, the anesthesiologist never came to give me the IV injection OR the gas that he'd said he'd give me - yes, he said they had to give me BOTH for THIS operation. None of that -
- and then I was COUGHING as I choked on an airway they'd left in me. I was paralyzed and blind, and in the recovery theater. Someone took the airway out right away. Next thing I knew I was awake and asking the black man walking toward me if he was a nurse or a doctor. He said he was a nurse. I then started to tell him how I felt - euphoric and relaxed and that I could feel something in my nose - he said that was the bruising of the surgery and that there wasn't really anything in there. I noticed the clock, it was 1:07pm or so.
Next thing I know, I'm back in my room and talking to the pony-tailed nurse. Cindy, the only Brunette Cindy I've ever known. She was only a LITTLE younger than me, maybe 45? She reminded me of Kelly in 9th grade, brunette, and only girl I ever knew who looked more adorable in a pony tail than glamoured up for the Prom. I remember thinking, "not many ladies of her age are that attractive". Apparently, I did more than think that - read on!
As I sit here at 6am, not able to get back to sleep (I'm still bleeding some and can't use my CPAP effectively so it's hard to sleep) I think about just how far we've come in medical care and treatment.
The doctor cut out parts of my flesh in my nose, as he says it, "It's a simple plumbing job that cures a medical Achilles heal you have." In the course of this treatment, they were able to not only take my consciousness away so they could do their job without me thrashing about, they also used drugs that totally relaxed me and made the whole thing pass like the night passes as we naturally sleep. I strongly suspect that, like my cardio conversion, they probably had me at a level where I was talking to them and cooperating to some extent - yet do not remember it.
Yea, during the conversion two years ago, my Cardiologist had me swallowing a huge transducer so he could image my heart from the view in my esophagus! (They do this JUST BEFORE they shock you, it's a last minute check to see that there are no blood clots in the heart.) I FREAKED OUT when he told me I had to swallow that, and the spray he gave me did little to help. He said "I need you awake to swallow this." I almost jumped off the table when I saw him holding it! The anesthesiologist said, "Let me do this, Doctor, I can get him to cooperate, we do it in the gastro lab all the time." He later told me that the anesthesiologist gave me only enough propynol (?) so that I was still "awake" and able to do as I was told - but also enough that I have no memory of doing so. They pumped the stuff in, I went deaf, then I went OUT. But I was not really OUT - I apparently swallowed the probe on command, communicated with the cardiologist and watched the whole thing on the monitor. THAT was WEIRD - zombies are real and I was one for about five minutes. The anesthesiologist then really put me under and my doctor hit me with the paddles twice. First time stopped my heart. Second one restarted it, but it came back in normal rhythm without the irregular beat and arrhythmia. All in all, I was out 14 minutes that time.
Well, anyway, apparently, I was a zombie for a time when Cindy was tending to me. I can't remember what was said, but she said something to me and I asked, "What do you mean?" She told me that I told her, "You sure have a cute butt for a lady your age."
I managed to compliment her, sexually harass her and make an issue of her age all at once. She really got whole "Pizza" treatment. At least THIS time, I can blame it all on the cool drugs.
I was an easy sell - I've had four surgeries before this one and once I healed from my surgery, my original problem has always been gone.
But, messing with my nose bothers me. AND, I started to get worried about waking up in pain and just how uncomfortable this was going to be. So, as I was laying in my bed in my room, I did tell the doctor that I was trying to calm down. He told me I was his second operation like this today and that he got the first one done in 11 minutes, and that this is really nothing, simple, like he told me in his office weeks ago.
I told him I needed about three rum and cokes. The nurse said, "Oh, I"m putting something in your I.V. that will take care of YOU!" (I saw the clock in my room and it was 12:31pm)
In under 2 minutes, they started to roll me into the hallway. I said, "Wow..."
You feel it don't you?
Yea, it's like my whole body is happy and warm - like I've had five rum and cokes - without the coke." By the time they rolled me into the O.R. I thought, "This is SO much FUN!"
I told them the O.R. "doesn't look ANYTHING like the O.R. on MASH....
I said something about the lights on the ceiling - I did not see the doctor, the anesthesiologist never came to give me the IV injection OR the gas that he'd said he'd give me - yes, he said they had to give me BOTH for THIS operation. None of that -
- and then I was COUGHING as I choked on an airway they'd left in me. I was paralyzed and blind, and in the recovery theater. Someone took the airway out right away. Next thing I knew I was awake and asking the black man walking toward me if he was a nurse or a doctor. He said he was a nurse. I then started to tell him how I felt - euphoric and relaxed and that I could feel something in my nose - he said that was the bruising of the surgery and that there wasn't really anything in there. I noticed the clock, it was 1:07pm or so.
Next thing I know, I'm back in my room and talking to the pony-tailed nurse. Cindy, the only Brunette Cindy I've ever known. She was only a LITTLE younger than me, maybe 45? She reminded me of Kelly in 9th grade, brunette, and only girl I ever knew who looked more adorable in a pony tail than glamoured up for the Prom. I remember thinking, "not many ladies of her age are that attractive". Apparently, I did more than think that - read on!
As I sit here at 6am, not able to get back to sleep (I'm still bleeding some and can't use my CPAP effectively so it's hard to sleep) I think about just how far we've come in medical care and treatment.
The doctor cut out parts of my flesh in my nose, as he says it, "It's a simple plumbing job that cures a medical Achilles heal you have." In the course of this treatment, they were able to not only take my consciousness away so they could do their job without me thrashing about, they also used drugs that totally relaxed me and made the whole thing pass like the night passes as we naturally sleep. I strongly suspect that, like my cardio conversion, they probably had me at a level where I was talking to them and cooperating to some extent - yet do not remember it.
Yea, during the conversion two years ago, my Cardiologist had me swallowing a huge transducer so he could image my heart from the view in my esophagus! (They do this JUST BEFORE they shock you, it's a last minute check to see that there are no blood clots in the heart.) I FREAKED OUT when he told me I had to swallow that, and the spray he gave me did little to help. He said "I need you awake to swallow this." I almost jumped off the table when I saw him holding it! The anesthesiologist said, "Let me do this, Doctor, I can get him to cooperate, we do it in the gastro lab all the time." He later told me that the anesthesiologist gave me only enough propynol (?) so that I was still "awake" and able to do as I was told - but also enough that I have no memory of doing so. They pumped the stuff in, I went deaf, then I went OUT. But I was not really OUT - I apparently swallowed the probe on command, communicated with the cardiologist and watched the whole thing on the monitor. THAT was WEIRD - zombies are real and I was one for about five minutes. The anesthesiologist then really put me under and my doctor hit me with the paddles twice. First time stopped my heart. Second one restarted it, but it came back in normal rhythm without the irregular beat and arrhythmia. All in all, I was out 14 minutes that time.
Well, anyway, apparently, I was a zombie for a time when Cindy was tending to me. I can't remember what was said, but she said something to me and I asked, "What do you mean?" She told me that I told her, "You sure have a cute butt for a lady your age."
I managed to compliment her, sexually harass her and make an issue of her age all at once. She really got whole "Pizza" treatment. At least THIS time, I can blame it all on the cool drugs.
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