[__ Prayer __] Terrified of my dad's temper

[southern_lady]

This is my first post. I would like to request prayer for my father. This is very hard for me, but I don't know where else to turn... I was raised in a Christian home. My dad was raised Catholic. He cannot give me a clear testimony of how he was saved, so I do suspect this may be the root of his trouble. Long story short, my father has an extremely bad temper. As a child, I remember several holes in the wall from where he punched them over little things. My mother rarely left me or my younger sister home alone with our father because of it. I have very vivid memories of playing with my sister as a 5-year-old and my dad would yank me off the floor, spank me out of anger for "playing too loud" or some other thing children do. Now, I agree with spanking, but this was not done in love nor was it controlled. All through my childhood my father's anger would be directed at me for unknown reasons. My entire family learned never to disagree with him lest we have to endure his fits of yelling, profanity, and throwing. We became scared of him when he was mad. The last time he ever hit me I was 19. My sister needed a black skirt, and I lent her one of mine. When I hung it on her door, he saw it, yelled for me to come in the room, flung me over the bed, and began hitting my backside out of anger, holding me down. He said he was sick of me forcing things on my sister. I told him if he ever struck me again, I would make sure he never did it again as I would report it.

His anger mostly comes through strings of shouting, profanity, and hitting objects. He had a massive heart attack three years ago, and since then he has bad spells of depression, pouting, and mood swings. I took the situation to my pastor and an evangelist friend last year. They told me they felt he was trying to live a lie, due to various things they had observed. This past summer, I accidentally caught my dad viewing porn on his computer. My family always suspected it. I walked in on him as I was preparing to leave for work. I ended up telling my mother because of some things that happened. I haven't told my sister as she is away in college and I am afraid what it would do to her. I feel it is wrong, but I cannot stand to hug him, ect. now. I keep my bedroom for locked. I have no reason to believe he would harm me in that way, bit I cannot help but sickened at the possibility he may view me as that garbage... I am 25, and the woman I saw was younger than I.

Sunday, my father hit a deer on the way to church, possibly totaling his car. When I got home from work tonight, my mother warned me to stay away from my dad as he was in a mood over he car, having cried half the way home from choir practice. I went to bed. Mom stayed up as she couldn't sleep because she is worried about dad. Around 2 am, I was awakened to my dad stomping down the hallway to the kitchen where mom was. Soon he stomped back to the bedroom, slammed the door, raises his voice and called my mother a bad word, took God's Name in vain on the worst possible manner and called my mother that word again. I heard him hit the matress several times and he stared a string of profanity again. I began shaking from fear. When he is like that there is no telling what he would do... I waited until he calmed down then slipped out of my room to check on my mom. She said he was angry she was still awake and told me to lock my door. I told her if he started up again we were going to leave and get a room somewhere. She said to just ignore it.

I feel ashamed to talk to anyone about this... I attend and am the secretary of a well-known church in my area. I am very active with our ministries and many know andvlike my dad. He is a Jeckel and Hyde from church to home. I have an apartment lined up to move to after new year, but I hate to leave my mom

I apologize for such a long post; I feel it is rude of me to do. Please pray for my dad. I do not see how he can truly be saved and be like this...

 

[Nacho]

I can relate to your situation as my father was a very angry man growing up an he also had a very horrible temper. My brothers and I grew up afraid of our own father and I can honestly say that at the time I hated my father and I could of cared less if I even saw him again. He would hit us and my mom sometimes and he would always be yelling and cursing. He was the same way as your father...he put on a good show at church and everyone liked and respected him and he was a totally different person at home.

One weekend I came home from college and he was a different man...I am not sure what happened, but he has changed to be a lot more calm and collected. I didn't even recognize him for the longest time. I think God made him realize how he treated us and it has humbled him greatly. He is a different man now and I love him very much. He is far from perfect and I still see some of those old habits pop up every once in awhile, but he has decided to change and I am very happy about that.

He is now a grandpa and I am so glad that my daughter won't ever have to see the man I grew up with. It is such a blessing to see my father interact with my daughter and see that he truly cares about her.


My advice for you is to pray for your father and show him love even though he obviously is showing you and your family very little. He can change....no matter how impossible it seems he can change. He cannot do it on his own though....only through Jesus will he truly change.

I won't lie my first reaction to your post made me want to drive to were you live and punch this guy square in the teeth, but that is because I have a really hard time with a man that hits or abuses women. That is not the answer though and sometimes it takes a second for us as humans to control our emotions and let God lead us. Love is the answer....God is Love!!!

I will be praying for you and your family.

God Bless

 

[Brad Smith]

A prayer of Gods peace for you and your family.