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Tired of being single....what can a Christian guy do?

peter33

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im 22 year old guy, everyone my whole life has said i could be a model, and im simply looking for a nice sweet girl but have been extremly unsuccessful. the girls of fmy past......i seriously wouldnt even consider them real GF's because it didnt last even a week sometimes. its not that im a bad guy or violent or mean, obviously if i was i wouldnt be on this site asking this. but i am a Christian and a strong one all my life, sure ive got my problems but seriously i dont see what is wrong with me. sometimes i may come off as a bit anti-social simply because i look like i am. some days, i probably look like i have a chip on my shoulder but thats prolly cuz i DO, lol. its like, today for instance, im drvin around and i pass through this small busy town and i see girls with guys guys with girls, there all over the place and it just makes my heart sink, like i get that hopeless feeling like it will be forever till i find the "right" girl for me, if shes even out there. i ask God to help me through this and to continue my life without being so depressed about my situation.

i also discovered something. you know, being a kid was sooo much easier, more innocent, at least it was for me. i remember haveing little crushes on girls at times, and girls were more innocent too, they didnt know those dirty things you know when you get older, and it was so much sweeter that way. and happiness for me was getting a new toy, or getting ice cream, or going to the beach and in the waves and haveing fun with friends you made at school, even if they werent great, lifelong friends you still invited them over and had fun and you didnt care as much about things cept throwin a ball till you were pooped out.

today, its completely different. many other worries, many many worries, especially now that me and my family are in the process of moving and all the hassles with that. but when you get older, your wants and desires change. that "toy" just wont do it anymore, be it a "adult" toy or the like. ice cream isnt simple cuz you got to worry about those love handles and sugar intake (if you work out and want to look good). and going anywhere different and new, you simply see the same things you always see and are still depressed. so im just wondering, what should i do and how can i go to God to help me with this?
 
Hi,

From what you have written, it would seem that your focus is in the wrong place.

Trust God. He has your life in His hands, and He is your Lord - the one who rules your life. You run on His timetable now. There is nothing wrong with desiring to marry, but if that desire is consuming you and distracting you from serving the Lord wholeheartedly then it needs to be brought into line. If it's making you depressed, then you ought to ask yourself why that is so. Perhaps the Lord is using this time to draw you to Himself - to make Himself the focus of your life. Take it as a "nudge" from the Lord to seek and find fulfillment in Him.

Psalm 37:4: "Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart."

This does not mean that God gives you everything you want. It does mean that He gives you the things to desire in accordance with His will, and then fulfills them. The desire for a wife is a good one, but you must trust the Lord in it. Surrender that desire to Him, trusting Him that He will only do what is best for you. Rather than dwelling on your desire for a relationship, seek to become someone that is marry-able - in other words, the kind of man a Godly young woman would want to marry. For a Christian, that means making your focus the Lord and your relationship with Him. Invest in your relationship with Him, and seek opportunities to serve His people. Consider that there may be work the Lord wishes to do in your life first - qualities and attributes He wants to build and strengthen in order to make you the husband your future wife-to-be needs. Think of this time as God's training for what He wants you to do - whether that be marriage or not, it will be for your best and for His glory.

God has designed the majority of us to marry, but for us to experience His best we must be surrendered to His timetable, His way of doing things. I well remember finishing university at 22 and being somewhat disappointed that I hadn't met my future spouse. Then I did a gap year, and then went to Bible College... and still hadn't met her several years later. But the Lord was doing a work in my life through that time, teaching me to trust Him. Four months after finishing Bible College I made contact with a girl in the US... and now, 14 months later, she is my fiancée! God truly has our best interests at heart, and if we are willing to surrender to Him we will experience His will for us. I am so very thankful that the Lord is the one who arranged it all, and that He made me wait until the time He knew would be best. I couldn't have asked for a more fitting, better suited, more wonderful person that the one whom God has chosen for me. She is far beyond all that I could imagine.

So take heart. The Lord knows what He's doing! All He asks is that you trust Him with everything - your hopes, your dreams, your fears...

Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

I'm praying for you.
 
that was a great post, cannot put into words how good that was. thank you so much, i need more replies like this!
 
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