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MrVersatile48
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Love to St Louis' indomitable & godly wit, Bryan Hupperts, who went thru tragedy recently & God has so clearly strengthened him even more:-
Death Takes A Holiday?
Bryan Hupperts
Sep 06, 2006
September 6, 2006
The Sludge Report:
Death Takes A Holiday?
Our long awaited tabloid is live and working. Forward these pop culture parables to friends and enemies. Click here: http://www.sheeptrax.com You gotta see this!
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Weird reports were coming into the Sludge Report; Grim Reaper sightings. Bigfoot rumors bring a mere yawn to the jaded lips of investigative reporters; right along with Neisse, the Yeti and even little Green Men with Pyramid blueprints - but when the cell phone photos of old Death himself on skies and sporting a tennis racket start clogging up my email box, it’s time to either have my plumbing tested for lead… or to launch a full fledged investigation.
An ugly rumor was circulating through tabloid land like flu germs through a dirty preschool: Death was taking a holiday.
I had my people call his... ahem... ex-people and soon I caught up with Death in Aspen, mountain playground of the rich and famous. Death was indeed toting some impressive skies. “Only cost me a few bones,†smirked Death, who seemed in an oddly cheery mood. While using his Scythe for a ski pole, other revelers kept a respectful distance as the Grave one took to the powder.
I was (understandably) apprehensive about interviewing Death. I was hoping that our inevitable one on one meeting would occur in the far, far future. Alas, the journalist in me had to know now: Was Death taking a holiday?
Humming a tune called, “The Post-Mortem Blue s,†which had something to do with trees and skis being good for his business, Death agreed to meet with me in the chalet café. My heart was pounding – all things considered, a good sign – when in walked the Grim Reaper live and in person. The bar took a collective gasp as He walked straight up to me and said, “We have an appointment. I ALWAYS keep my appointments.â€Â
I fumbled with my notebook while the English minor in me wondering if “live†was the correct choice of euphemism for my imposing guest. So I nervously asked, “What do you do with all those people you’ve taken? Do you hold them forever?â€Â
Death sighed. “I see Bible illiteracy is on the rise. OK, according to the Bible, in Revelation 20:13, I will not hold everyone for all eternity. (He quoted) ‘The sea gave up the dead that were in it. And Death and Hell gave up their dead. Each of the dead was judged by what he had done.& rsquo; Once I have reaped my last soul, according to Revelation 20:14, I get down-scythed: demoted. ‘Then Death and Hell were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death.’â€Â
I was incredulous. “So you mean to tell me that Death finally dies?â€Â
“Yep,†he replied. “I lose my victory and my sting - over those who know and love God, anyway. Everybody else gets what was intended originally to be an exclusive for the devil and his angels.â€Â
My blank look prompted his explanation on what is means to be dead. “To be dead is not to cease to be but is to be eternally separated from God who is the Life.â€Â
Oh...
I asked him, “Is that why you’re here in Aspen skiing on an apparent holiday? Are you trying to make some good memories?†He cocked his head and (maybe it was the light) slyly grimaced. Feeling suddenly embolden, with my curiosity overcoming my terror, I looked right into his skeletal sockets and asked, “So, is the rumor true? Is Death taking a holiday?â€Â
Faster than a bolt of lightning flashing from a storm cloud, he whipped his scythe around and an overweight guy behind me who had been stuffing his face with Jumbo Shrimp gagged suddenly and fell forward, convulsed, and then went absolutely still.
“Death taking a holiday? No,†he said, “Just a few holidayers.†With that, he slammed down his hot chocolate, wiped his mouth with his ghastly shroud sleeve as he then leaned uncomfortably close to me and whispered, “Be seeing you.â€Â
This Intrepid Reporter can assure my reading public: Death is not, I repeat, NOT taking a holiday.
Bryan Hupperts
Copyright 2006
SheepTrax Media
bryanhupperts@hotmail.com
http://www.sheeptrax.injesus.com
http://www.SheepTrax.com
Duplication and re-transmission of this writing is permitted provided that complete source and website information for SheepTrax Media is included.
