What does God want from me?

[beyondinfinity]

And I don't mean this in a "Oh my gosh, i'm so tired of God setting me up for disappointments. What the heck does this guy want?!" kind of way. I mean it in a "I'm confused. I don't know what God wants me to do and why he did this to me."

I took a test which determined whether or not I get into a specific high school. I already am in one of the "best schools", as my school says. However, I am not happy there. I am not motivated. I never want to go to school. I feel the need to sleep all the time. I have horrible anxiety. I have talked to people..but I still feel this way.

After months of horrible anticipation, I learn today that I did not get accepted. Before and after taking the test, I kept telling myself, "God knows what's right for me."
I know I didn't get into that school for a reason. But I want to know why. And I don't know if God wants me to apply to a different school or stay in my current school. I'm really upset, but I know it's for the best. I'm just confused-about everything.

 

[childeye]

Do you believe you would have been better motivated in another school? Maybe a new school is not the answer to the source of your lack of desire. Not saying your lack of desire is wrong or right. I doubt I have said anything that is helpful, but it sounds to me like you are in the right place even because you say it is for the best. Perhaps you should look at it as an adventure. I believe your answer will come eventually.

 

[beyondinfinity]

At times I'm not so sure If I would be better motivated in another school. My anxiety happened right after I started attending my current high school. I feel stupid in school and have constant nightmares about failing tests. I can never sleep. I wish God delivered answers verbally, but I know things don't tend to work this way.

 

[childeye]

Yes it does seem like it would be nice if God answered verbally. Learning to discern His voice within yourself comes with age. However there are the words of Jesus, wherein he said, "be anxious for nothing". Oftentimes our worries are about not letting down our parents. And our parents worries are for the wellbeing of the children. The stress of this world is what puts both of these loving concerns at odds with one another and makes being content impossible. How ironic that all you want for your parents is for them to be happy and all they want for you is to be happy.

 

[beyondinfinity]

This is very true. Maybe I just need to wait and listen.