- Dec 20, 2019
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When Erin and I speak at events or record podcasts, we get a lot of questions about the topics we discuss. One question that seems to pop up a lot is this: “What does the Bible say about emotions?”
We’re both counselors, and we love talking about emotions! We also enjoy searching God’s Word for His insights on how we should live and how we should love those He’s placed in our lives. We’ve found that as we apply what God’s Word teaches, we grow closer together as a couple. So, with that as background, let’s look at the questions people ask about emotions and line them up with the answers in God’s Word.
The Bible shows that God has a wide range of emotions, which are consistently expressed in ways that reflect His perfect and unchanging nature. God is love (1 John 4:8). He loves us with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). He experienced anger and wrath (Psalm 7:11, Deuteronomy 9:22). He feels compassion (Psalm 135:14). He experiences grief, regret, and sorrow (Genesis 6:6). He hates (Proverbs 6:16-19) and is jealous (Exodus 20:5). But he also feels joy and delight (Zephaniah 3:17).
God’s emotional range also includes the “Fruits of the Spirit” – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22). He also experiences what we call “troublesome emotions” like anger, wrath, grief, sorrow, hatred and jealousy. We’ll talk about “troublesome emotions” in a bit. For now, let’s keep looking at what the Bible says about God’s emotions.
The Gospel writers paint Jesus in a kaleidoscope of brilliant “emotional colors.” Jesus felt compassion. He was sometimes angry, indignant, or consumed with zeal. He felt troubled, greatly distressed, sorrowful, deeply moved and grieved. He sighed. He wept. He groaned. He was in agony. He was surprised and amazed. He rejoiced greatly and was full of joy; he greatly desired, and he loved.
Does it surprise you that God experiences such a wide range of emotions? Have you ever explored the stories behind His emotions? What’s happening in those stories? Why is He angry. Why is He loving? When you learn that God experiences emotions, you’ll also learn that God isn’t the distant, angry figure who throws lightning bolts at weak humans. He understands our emotions, cares deeply for us (1 Peter 5:7), and sympathizes with us (Hebrews 4:15).
Now that you know God shows emotions, let’s look at His creation – you and me. The Bible says this in Genesis 1:26 (ESV), “God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.” It then explains in Genesis 1:27 (ESV), “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”
When God – Father, Son, and Spirit – created humanity, He made us in His image. That includes emotions. It’s not an accident that you and I experience emotions. They’re hardwired. They’re part of the plan.
If God experiences emotions – even the “troublesome” ones – but always acts with unchanging righteousness and holiness, then the emotion itself isn’t the problem … it’s what we do with it that makes it good or bad.
We’re not trying to be tricky or slip in a bit of psychobabble. What we’re saying is that emotions are like the dash lights in your car. They’re not the problem; they’re simply trying to tell you something. The red fuel light flashes to say you’re nearly out of gas. Telling the light to stop flashing — or ignoring it — won’t fix the problem. The solution is to stop at a gas station and refuel.
It’s the same thing with your emotions. When you realize you’re angry, you have a choice: you can act out or you can find out what’s going on in your heart and then deal with it. Emotions are a God-given “dash light” to tell you something needs attention.
In the past, we’ve told audiences something like this: “emotions are morally neutral data.” People often come up to tell us we’re wrong. That emotions are sinful. But if you think of emotions as “dash lights” that tell you something is happening in your heart, you can acknowledge the emotion and find a healthy way to deal with the underlying issue.
We’re glad that people challenge us and ask questions about emotions. Sometimes, people just want to prove a point, but they usually ask questions because they want to know what the Bible says about emotions; and they want to have a marriage that honors both God and their spouse. Here are some of the questions we hear over and over.
You’ve probably heard this answer in church or online: “Don’t trust your emotions because the Bible says your heart is deceitful.”
The human heart is deceitful. Jeremiah 17:9 pulls no punches when talking about the state of our hearts: “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who can know it” (NIV).
You’ll hear no argument from us. Like I said, we’re counselors, so we’ve heard and seen just how deceitful the human heart can be. But when Jeremiah 17:9 talks about our heart, it’s talking about something bigger than just our emotions. In this context, it refers to our “inner being” which includes our thoughts, desires, intentions, motivations, morals, identity, and emotions. It’s what King Solomon talks about in Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (NIV). God (through Solomon) warns us against trusting our own understanding and emotions.
Here’s how to live out the truths of Jeremiah 17:9 and Proverbs 4:23: Pay attention to your emotions but never trust solely in how you feel because emotions can be unreliable and influenced by sin. So, when that emotional “dash light” flashes, take your emotions to God and ask for His truth and guidance.
Here’s a good prayer to pray when you notice your emotional dash lights are flashing: “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24, ESV).
You can also explode, but that’s not a wise choice. Seeking to marginalize emotions or do away with them isn’t the answer. We need to recognize God has given us emotions to use as information. While we never blindly “follow our hearts” (the heart can be deceitful), we acknowledge the flashing “dash lights,” evaluate them against what God says in His Word and ask Him (and sometimes also our spouse, a godly friend, or a counselor) to help us deal wisely with those feelings.
You’re absolutely right. Anger doesn’t make the list. But remember what we said earlier: God experiences emotions – even anger. He created us in His image – which includes our emotions. Emotions are a dash light that tells us something is happening in our heart.
So, what should you do when your “heart light” tells you you’re angry?
Let’s see what the Bible says!
In 2 Corinthians 10:5, the Apostle Paul tells us how to deal with our thoughts. “We destroy arguments, and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ” (ESV).
When Paul talks about taking our thoughts captive, he’s using military terms to describe those actions. The Corinthian believers to whom Paul wrote knew exactly what he was talking about. In 146 BC, Roman General Lucius Mummius destroyed the fortress of Acrocorinth and defeated the city. The ruins were still visible when Paul wrote his letters to the Corinthian church. His readers knew the story of how Rome crushed the city, razed it to the ground, and took its people into slavery. Paul tells us do the same with sinful thoughts. If that sounds brutal, then think about what happens in your heart and your relationships when your heart light flashes, and you blindly react to your spouse or coworkers. Those thoughts and actions need to be brought under God’s control. Quickly.
So, when your heart light signals you’re feeling angry … and you’re tempted to respond in a sinful way, God says it’s time to call in the army. He’s even given you the weapons to get things under control. Get the weapons checklist in Ephesians 6. Read the battle plan in Romans 12:1-2.
The other day, I (Greg) was working on some high-pressure projects. I keep a stash of snacks in my office and realized I was raiding it repeatedly. I had to stop and ask myself, “Why am I on my second bag of chips? What’s going on?” I stopped munching and thought about was I was feeling. I’m feeling anxious. As soon as I put a name to the emotion, I was able to deal with the issue. “I’m overwhelmed,” I told myself, “What I want is some calm in the chaos.” Now that I knew what was going on and why, I was able to deal with the emotion, which for me, meant saying a quick prayer for peace in my heart. God answered.
Maybe you’re going through something similar, and the stress is too much. Maybe you feel angry about a recent decision, or sad about a situation at home. Here’s what to do when you see a “heart light” flashing:
God experiences emotions and always expresses His emotions in a way that reflects His perfect, unchanging nature. He created us in His image. Psalm 139:14 tells us we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (ESV) and that includes our emotions.
God gave us emotions for a reason. They’re “dash lights” that tell us to pay attention to something in our hearts. We choose how to react to our emotional dash lights. Will we give in to the sinful desires of our hearts and act out in ways that dishonor Christ and our spouse? Or will we take those thoughts captive and bring them under Christ’s control?
If you’re dealing with difficult emotions and you’re not sure what they’re telling you, we’ve developed a test to help you name those emotions and identify what’s really going on in your heart. The Reactive Cycle test is a free assessment for you and your spouse. We invite you to take it and then prayerfully evaluate the results.
Maybe you know what’s causing painful emotions and you’d like help dealing with the issue. Maybe you’re dealing with an old wound or trying to make sense of a painful situation. We’re here for you. Contact Focus on the Family for a free phone consultation. We can point you to a qualified Christian counselor in your area.
Finally, never hesitate to bring your emotions, actions, fears, frustrations, and questions to God. He’s never threatened by your questions or bothered by your doubts. You can bring all your problems to Him. He cares about you and your emotions.
The post What Does the Bible Say About Emotions? appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...
We’re both counselors, and we love talking about emotions! We also enjoy searching God’s Word for His insights on how we should live and how we should love those He’s placed in our lives. We’ve found that as we apply what God’s Word teaches, we grow closer together as a couple. So, with that as background, let’s look at the questions people ask about emotions and line them up with the answers in God’s Word.
The Bible Says God Experiences Emotions
The Bible shows that God has a wide range of emotions, which are consistently expressed in ways that reflect His perfect and unchanging nature. God is love (1 John 4:8). He loves us with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). He experienced anger and wrath (Psalm 7:11, Deuteronomy 9:22). He feels compassion (Psalm 135:14). He experiences grief, regret, and sorrow (Genesis 6:6). He hates (Proverbs 6:16-19) and is jealous (Exodus 20:5). But he also feels joy and delight (Zephaniah 3:17).
God’s emotional range also includes the “Fruits of the Spirit” – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22). He also experiences what we call “troublesome emotions” like anger, wrath, grief, sorrow, hatred and jealousy. We’ll talk about “troublesome emotions” in a bit. For now, let’s keep looking at what the Bible says about God’s emotions.
The Gospel writers paint Jesus in a kaleidoscope of brilliant “emotional colors.” Jesus felt compassion. He was sometimes angry, indignant, or consumed with zeal. He felt troubled, greatly distressed, sorrowful, deeply moved and grieved. He sighed. He wept. He groaned. He was in agony. He was surprised and amazed. He rejoiced greatly and was full of joy; he greatly desired, and he loved.
Does it surprise you that God experiences such a wide range of emotions? Have you ever explored the stories behind His emotions? What’s happening in those stories? Why is He angry. Why is He loving? When you learn that God experiences emotions, you’ll also learn that God isn’t the distant, angry figure who throws lightning bolts at weak humans. He understands our emotions, cares deeply for us (1 Peter 5:7), and sympathizes with us (Hebrews 4:15).
The Bible Says God Created Us With Emotions
Now that you know God shows emotions, let’s look at His creation – you and me. The Bible says this in Genesis 1:26 (ESV), “God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.” It then explains in Genesis 1:27 (ESV), “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”
When God – Father, Son, and Spirit – created humanity, He made us in His image. That includes emotions. It’s not an accident that you and I experience emotions. They’re hardwired. They’re part of the plan.
Let’s Talk About “Troublesome Emotions”
If God experiences emotions – even the “troublesome” ones – but always acts with unchanging righteousness and holiness, then the emotion itself isn’t the problem … it’s what we do with it that makes it good or bad.
We’re not trying to be tricky or slip in a bit of psychobabble. What we’re saying is that emotions are like the dash lights in your car. They’re not the problem; they’re simply trying to tell you something. The red fuel light flashes to say you’re nearly out of gas. Telling the light to stop flashing — or ignoring it — won’t fix the problem. The solution is to stop at a gas station and refuel.
It’s the same thing with your emotions. When you realize you’re angry, you have a choice: you can act out or you can find out what’s going on in your heart and then deal with it. Emotions are a God-given “dash light” to tell you something needs attention.
In the past, we’ve told audiences something like this: “emotions are morally neutral data.” People often come up to tell us we’re wrong. That emotions are sinful. But if you think of emotions as “dash lights” that tell you something is happening in your heart, you can acknowledge the emotion and find a healthy way to deal with the underlying issue.
Things Christians Say About Emotions
We’re glad that people challenge us and ask questions about emotions. Sometimes, people just want to prove a point, but they usually ask questions because they want to know what the Bible says about emotions; and they want to have a marriage that honors both God and their spouse. Here are some of the questions we hear over and over.
The Bible says our heart is deceitful, so emotions must be a lie.
You’ve probably heard this answer in church or online: “Don’t trust your emotions because the Bible says your heart is deceitful.”
The human heart is deceitful. Jeremiah 17:9 pulls no punches when talking about the state of our hearts: “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, who can know it” (NIV).
You’ll hear no argument from us. Like I said, we’re counselors, so we’ve heard and seen just how deceitful the human heart can be. But when Jeremiah 17:9 talks about our heart, it’s talking about something bigger than just our emotions. In this context, it refers to our “inner being” which includes our thoughts, desires, intentions, motivations, morals, identity, and emotions. It’s what King Solomon talks about in Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (NIV). God (through Solomon) warns us against trusting our own understanding and emotions.
Here’s how to live out the truths of Jeremiah 17:9 and Proverbs 4:23: Pay attention to your emotions but never trust solely in how you feel because emotions can be unreliable and influenced by sin. So, when that emotional “dash light” flashes, take your emotions to God and ask for His truth and guidance.
Here’s a good prayer to pray when you notice your emotional dash lights are flashing: “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Psalm 139:23-24, ESV).
I can suppress my emotions and not act on them.
You can also explode, but that’s not a wise choice. Seeking to marginalize emotions or do away with them isn’t the answer. We need to recognize God has given us emotions to use as information. While we never blindly “follow our hearts” (the heart can be deceitful), we acknowledge the flashing “dash lights,” evaluate them against what God says in His Word and ask Him (and sometimes also our spouse, a godly friend, or a counselor) to help us deal wisely with those feelings.
Some emotions – like anger – aren’t part of the Fruits of the Spirit
You’re absolutely right. Anger doesn’t make the list. But remember what we said earlier: God experiences emotions – even anger. He created us in His image – which includes our emotions. Emotions are a dash light that tells us something is happening in our heart.
So, what should you do when your “heart light” tells you you’re angry?
Let’s see what the Bible says!
In 2 Corinthians 10:5, the Apostle Paul tells us how to deal with our thoughts. “We destroy arguments, and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ” (ESV).
When Paul talks about taking our thoughts captive, he’s using military terms to describe those actions. The Corinthian believers to whom Paul wrote knew exactly what he was talking about. In 146 BC, Roman General Lucius Mummius destroyed the fortress of Acrocorinth and defeated the city. The ruins were still visible when Paul wrote his letters to the Corinthian church. His readers knew the story of how Rome crushed the city, razed it to the ground, and took its people into slavery. Paul tells us do the same with sinful thoughts. If that sounds brutal, then think about what happens in your heart and your relationships when your heart light flashes, and you blindly react to your spouse or coworkers. Those thoughts and actions need to be brought under God’s control. Quickly.
So, when your heart light signals you’re feeling angry … and you’re tempted to respond in a sinful way, God says it’s time to call in the army. He’s even given you the weapons to get things under control. Get the weapons checklist in Ephesians 6. Read the battle plan in Romans 12:1-2.
I’m “Armored Up” and Have the Battle Plans. Now What?
The other day, I (Greg) was working on some high-pressure projects. I keep a stash of snacks in my office and realized I was raiding it repeatedly. I had to stop and ask myself, “Why am I on my second bag of chips? What’s going on?” I stopped munching and thought about was I was feeling. I’m feeling anxious. As soon as I put a name to the emotion, I was able to deal with the issue. “I’m overwhelmed,” I told myself, “What I want is some calm in the chaos.” Now that I knew what was going on and why, I was able to deal with the emotion, which for me, meant saying a quick prayer for peace in my heart. God answered.
Maybe you’re going through something similar, and the stress is too much. Maybe you feel angry about a recent decision, or sad about a situation at home. Here’s what to do when you see a “heart light” flashing:
- Name the emotion. If you have trouble naming it, take the free Reactive Cycle assessment from Focus on the Family. It will help you put a name to what you’re feeling. And get this: Naming the emotion takes your brain out of “fight or flight” mode and then puts you on a path to de-escalate the situation.
- Manage the emotion. After you recognize you’re dealing with an emotion (the “heart light” is flashing), and you’ve named the emotion (I’m feeling anxious), then it’s time to act. Managing your emotions starts with asking these questions:
- What’s going on? What do I want? What’s causing that heart light to flash? When I turned to the bag of chips in my office, what I really wanted was comfort and calm.
- What do I do with this emotion? Now we’re talking about your behavior. In the case of the bag of chips, I could have kept munching. It’s not a healthy option, but it was comforting. Instead, I took my anxiety to the Lord in prayer. Maybe your “action” involves praying, walking, listening to praise music, or talking to a friend.
- What’s going on? What do I want? What’s causing that heart light to flash? When I turned to the bag of chips in my office, what I really wanted was comfort and calm.
- Make a choice. You’ve noticed the “heart light.” You’ve named the emotion. You’ve asked what’s fueling the emotion. Now, you have the “data” to make a choice. Will you honor God and respond in a way consistent with His word?
The Bible Says You Are “Fearfully and Wonderfully Made”
God experiences emotions and always expresses His emotions in a way that reflects His perfect, unchanging nature. He created us in His image. Psalm 139:14 tells us we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (ESV) and that includes our emotions.
God gave us emotions for a reason. They’re “dash lights” that tell us to pay attention to something in our hearts. We choose how to react to our emotional dash lights. Will we give in to the sinful desires of our hearts and act out in ways that dishonor Christ and our spouse? Or will we take those thoughts captive and bring them under Christ’s control?
If you’re dealing with difficult emotions and you’re not sure what they’re telling you, we’ve developed a test to help you name those emotions and identify what’s really going on in your heart. The Reactive Cycle test is a free assessment for you and your spouse. We invite you to take it and then prayerfully evaluate the results.
Maybe you know what’s causing painful emotions and you’d like help dealing with the issue. Maybe you’re dealing with an old wound or trying to make sense of a painful situation. We’re here for you. Contact Focus on the Family for a free phone consultation. We can point you to a qualified Christian counselor in your area.
Finally, never hesitate to bring your emotions, actions, fears, frustrations, and questions to God. He’s never threatened by your questions or bothered by your doubts. You can bring all your problems to Him. He cares about you and your emotions.
The post What Does the Bible Say About Emotions? appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...
