mattbraunlin
Member
- Nov 1, 2023
- 84
- 83
What You Need
As I write, it is 3:02 AM. I have been awake for about five hours. I went to bed a little after 4PM. I work at six and if all goes well I will head to work in about forty minutes, where I will chill for another hour before going in.
Yep. Today, my day started yesterday. This is pretty normal for me at this point in my life. Why?
Because it's what I need. It's how I function. I feel an incomparable peace and focus in these dark and quiet hours. I have no expectations upon me, no distractions; I can sit alone with my cat like the introvert that I am, and be productive. It's heavenly.
I get a certain amount of flak from my peers for what I admit is an odd way of life. People say it's strange, unhealthy. I have often lied about what time I wake up, just to avoid the predictable reactions and reprimands that inevitably follow when I don't.
But as long as my life remains the way it is, I will continue to embrace the night. It's when I hear God’s voice most clearly, and that is all the justification I need.
Did you know that it's okay to be eccentric? That if you are an oddball who functions differently from others, you don't have to be ashamed of the fact?
It's the weirdos who shape our world, who see things that others do not, and who are the pathfinders God chooses to use to reveal new things to his people.
This is not to say that I cut myself off from the world. We must not do that. I am very interactive with my coworkers, and on the weekends I shift gears and lead a relatively normal life, being social where I can. I like people very much, and to delve too deeply into oneself and leave others out of the picture is unhealthy and never a part of God's plan.
But I am also a weirdo. I am not a normal person (I rather pity them actually) and I have had to find my own ways to cope in a world where the rules are written by round pegs. I have searched for peace most of my life, and now that I have located it in these early morning hours, it would take a lot more to make me give it up than a few shaken heads and incredulous comments from those who cannot understand.
To serve God is to be weird by definition. To serve God is to be set apart, to fight giants, to marry prostitutes, to rejoice at suffering. To serve God is to be gawked at, scorned and ridiculed. The greater the faith, the more ferocious the skeptic.
It is in these beautiful dark hours that I hear God's voice most clearly. It is here that I feel most intimately close to him. It is here, as you slept, that this blurb itself was born. And that is more than worth the incredulity of those who would object. So to all my fellow weirdos, I say now to you exclusively:
Keep it up. Enjoy your strangeness. Stray from the beaten path and delight at what Jesus Christ will show you.
Amen.
As I write, it is 3:02 AM. I have been awake for about five hours. I went to bed a little after 4PM. I work at six and if all goes well I will head to work in about forty minutes, where I will chill for another hour before going in.
Yep. Today, my day started yesterday. This is pretty normal for me at this point in my life. Why?
Because it's what I need. It's how I function. I feel an incomparable peace and focus in these dark and quiet hours. I have no expectations upon me, no distractions; I can sit alone with my cat like the introvert that I am, and be productive. It's heavenly.
I get a certain amount of flak from my peers for what I admit is an odd way of life. People say it's strange, unhealthy. I have often lied about what time I wake up, just to avoid the predictable reactions and reprimands that inevitably follow when I don't.
But as long as my life remains the way it is, I will continue to embrace the night. It's when I hear God’s voice most clearly, and that is all the justification I need.
Did you know that it's okay to be eccentric? That if you are an oddball who functions differently from others, you don't have to be ashamed of the fact?
It's the weirdos who shape our world, who see things that others do not, and who are the pathfinders God chooses to use to reveal new things to his people.
This is not to say that I cut myself off from the world. We must not do that. I am very interactive with my coworkers, and on the weekends I shift gears and lead a relatively normal life, being social where I can. I like people very much, and to delve too deeply into oneself and leave others out of the picture is unhealthy and never a part of God's plan.
But I am also a weirdo. I am not a normal person (I rather pity them actually) and I have had to find my own ways to cope in a world where the rules are written by round pegs. I have searched for peace most of my life, and now that I have located it in these early morning hours, it would take a lot more to make me give it up than a few shaken heads and incredulous comments from those who cannot understand.
To serve God is to be weird by definition. To serve God is to be set apart, to fight giants, to marry prostitutes, to rejoice at suffering. To serve God is to be gawked at, scorned and ridiculed. The greater the faith, the more ferocious the skeptic.
It is in these beautiful dark hours that I hear God's voice most clearly. It is here that I feel most intimately close to him. It is here, as you slept, that this blurb itself was born. And that is more than worth the incredulity of those who would object. So to all my fellow weirdos, I say now to you exclusively:
Keep it up. Enjoy your strangeness. Stray from the beaten path and delight at what Jesus Christ will show you.
Amen.
