You're an ATHEIST!!!

[Guest]

Ok so I came across this video on the net:

edit..Removed very offensive link..I did not even get to the video, could not get past the content of the website..yuk..This is a Christian forum. Please be aware of the entire context of the websites when posting links. JG.

An interesting reaction by mom. It got me thinking about reactions in general.

I'd like to put this question out to you guys, especially those of you that have children:

What would you do if one of your kids came home and announced he/she was an atheist? What would be your first reaction? How would you deal with it?

 

[Packrat]

I might say, "I'm a Christian. Where have I gone wrong?" :-D If my kid could prove my error to me - whether over the course of a short discussion or a set period of time - then I might even become an atheist. If he couldn't then I'd let him know what sort of trouble he's headed for. I'd probably pray for him, myself, and others that he interacts with daily.

 

[Packrat]

After looking at the video for a second time, I'm pretty sure that the kid deserves more than his mom dished out to him. He probably deserves a good solid couple of slaps in the face. I don't mean to say that because he said that he was an atheist, but probably because he's ticked off his parents more than once. ;)

Why in the world would he bring in a friend with a video recorder to see his mom's response? Obviously he hadn't told this to his mom before considering her reaction. That said, he probably knew his mom was going to go psycho on him and wanted to tape it in order to cram it down her throat at a later date or some similar thing.

What I'm saying is that from his responses to his mother and the way he went about things it just seems to me that this is a set up and this kid isn't the most loving and cheerful kid on the block. If he wanted to talk his conversion over with his mom and dad, I'd think that he would have left his friend with the cam at home and chatted to her about it. While I think the kid's a brat, I doubt the mom is free of blame either. ;) My opinion? It could be a number of things, but I doubt this is your model Christian family. Anger problems definitely, but then again I've been around this sort of stuff as well. I speak from experience. Classical overeaction of parent and kid who doesn't know when to be quiet and likes to milk their parent's agression. Your thoughts?

 

[cyberjosh]

At first glance (and I never even heard the audio of it) it does look like there was an over reaction. Her getting up in his face is not the best (nor the right) method of staving off something you don't like.

In fact it is the opposite of the Biblical prescribed method of dealing out correction:

"Always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you [your beliefs/faith], yet with gentleness and reverence." (1 Peter 3:15)

"Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness." (Galatians 6:1)

Then the flagship verse which sums it all up:

"The Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth." (2 Timothy 2:24-25)


I could certainly understand the Mother being a little upset and maybe raising her voice a little bit, but sitting down and discussing it is a far more effective, or at the very least the right approach.

Please don't focus on quarels that some believers and unbelivers have, because this does not reflect the true spirit. Adapt the computer concept of GIGO for what you focus on and study. Garbage In Garbage Out, what you fill your self with is what comes out. Don't focus on controversies or we will never be able to come to a common ground of sinserity where we can discuss turely important matters in a just and acceptable manner.

God Bless,

~Josh

 

[Packrat]

At first glance (and I never even heard the audio of it) it does look like there was an over reaction. Her getting up in his face is not the best (nor the right) method of staving off something you don't like.

In fact it is the opposite of the Biblical prescribed method of dealing out correction:

"Always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you [your beliefs/faith], yet with gentleness and reverence." (1 Peter 3:15)

"Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness." (Galatians 6:1)

Then the flagship verse which sums it all up:

"The Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth." (2 Timothy 2:24-25)


I could certainly understand the Mother being a little upset and maybe raising her voice a little bit, but sitting down and discussing it is a far more effective, or at the very least the right approach.

Please don't focus on quarels that some believers and unbelivers have, because this does not reflect the true spirit. Adapt the computer concept of GIGO for what you focus on and study. Garbage In Garbage Out, what you fill your self with is what comes out. Don't focus on controversies or we will never be able to come to a common ground of sinserity where we can discuss turely important matters in a just and acceptable manner.

God Bless,

~Josh

I think that the mother's reaction is more than based on this one instance. I don't see people in black and white - good and evil. We are all good and evil. We were created by God and are therefore good, but we were corrupted by sin and are therefore evil. We are capable of both good and evil, and I don't think that the mother's reaction is one based on this sole issue of the son becoming an atheist. I'm pretty sure that he's wronged her more than once and is doing so in this video and only one side of the story is being shown. But it's pretty obvious to me to see the other side as well.

 

[cyberjosh]

I think that the mother's reaction is more than based on this one instance. I don't see people in black and white - good and evil. We are all good and evil. We were created by God and are therefore good, but we were corrupted by sin and are therefore evil. We are capable of both good and evil, and I don't think that the mother's reaction is one based on this sole issue of the son becoming an atheist. I'm pretty sure that he's wronged her more than once and is doing so in this video and only one side of the story is being shown. But it's pretty obvious to me to see the other side as well.

Well I did not set out to evaluate the context of the situation. If it was a culmination of a specific issue of rebellion then I can probably see where the outburst came from, but still its not an effective approach to yell at them, it won't change or address their beliefs. My old Pastor used to say "If you can talk someone into Christianity, you can talk them out of it." If it all rests on talk rather than conviction the arguements are useless.

~Josh

 

[Packrat]

[edited out by meh]

 

[Packrat]

but still its not an effective approach to yell at them

Of course. That's what the 2x4 is for. :-D No, seriously, yelling only proves to your kid that your not the dominant figure because he can manipulate you. It's good to use physical discipline early on to prove your dominance as this is really the only thing that tends to be effective on kids. You should do this in a calm mood always whether or not you choose to appear to be mad, sad, or calm. Discipline should be something done in a rational mood. If you achieve a position of dominance over your kid and keep your cool, then they're more likely to respect you.

 

[Guest]

I personally think mom flipped out way to hard. If the kid wants to be an atheist mom flipping out is just going to reinforce his belief. When does a teenager ever do what his parents tell him? Don't they usually do the opposite?

As far as that video goes, there is not context. This might be an outburst from some long lived and deep seated aggravation of mom and kid.

As far as raising kids, I think that if you can raise them to obey you for whats best for them, out of their respect for you, and not for their fear, it'll go for a long way to a better relationship, especially when they are older. I think phsycial punishement will lead to life long resentment... thats just my opinion though.

I liken raising children to raising dogs. No seriously. Just in dogs you can see the results so much faster as they mature much faster (dogs have similar emotional development to humans).

A friend and I got dogs around the same time. I never physically punished my dog but used positive reinforcement for training. The result is a calm, well behaved animal that rarely misbehaves and never barks out of control.

My friend uses shock collars and physical punishement, and his dog is a misbehaving little [edit].

If i ever have kids hitting, even the threat of hitting, will be a last resort.

IMO.

 

[Packrat]

Don't they usually do the opposite?

Yeah, if they're a complete brat. Rebellious kids like that used to be killed in the ancient days. If you didn't learn quick, then you were in deep water. It's probably the mom's fault. I suppose if the kid has a dad, then it's probably his fault too. The whole idea that teenagers should be expected to rebel at their age is completely and utterly flawed. Teenagers have life hard at their age, and it's their age that they begin to question the goodness of their parents. But at NO TIME should they be EXPECTED to disobey their parents.

I think that we should face it. People are inherently looking out for their own interests. It's not a pessimistic philosophy; it's just the way the world works. When children are born they usually don't come into the world with a desire to obey their parents. They may love their parents because their parents love them or they may obey their parents because their parents give them cookies, etc. But they should also learn to respect others when it is not deserved and to love those who do not love you back. Ever heard the saying that pain or suffering builds character? It's true. My philosophy is that if you spare the rod you spoil the child. HOWEVER, I think that you should usually if not always warn the child of their error and give them a second chance to obey you before you use 'the rod.' Love them. Teach them out of that love to love and respect when neither are deserved.

I hate to resort to worldly terms... but my father used the whip on me. In fact my principal did too. Well, that wasn't really a whip - it was one of those paddles with holes in it that lets the air flow through it so you can get in a faster swing. :-D I'll tell you though that I respect my father and that I love him. In fact I respect him more for using physical punishment than emotional or mental. Sometimes I'd be sent to my room. Sometimes I'd go without my dinner. Sometimes I'd be spanked. As I got older and it was harder for me to be spanked or less appropriate because I was a maturing individual, he generally used a stern harangue or grounding. Imagine a parent trying to spank a 16-year old. :-D Beginning at 14 and upward I never did anything that caused my dad to ground me or even punish me ever again. There was one time that I lied to him when I was 14 and he gave me quite the ear-full, but I was scared stiff not to do it ever again to him. It wasn't even a blatant lie - it was a half truth I think.

As far as raising kids, I think that if you can raise them to obey you for whats best for them, out of their respect for you, and not for their fear, it'll go for a long way to a better relationship, especially when they are older.

Well, you use what works. What works quite effectively seems to be physical punishment and fear until the kid can mature enough to do what is right without the threat of fear. Fear is a tool. It can be used for the good of your kid and probably should be some time in their life. Of course I still don't always obey my dad, but I still respect him.

 

[Rick W]

You won't know how to raise kids until you do it yourself no matter what ideas you may have beforehand. Each child is different and each will put you into situations you can't even imagine. One thing may work on this child but the same thing won't on another. This may work in this circumstance but won't in this one even though the two situations may seem similar.

Raising children is a learning process not only for the child but for the parents as well. What you think you may do and what you will do are two entirely different things. Kids have a way of throwing a monkey wrench into the best laid plans of the most wise parents out there.

Kids can bring low the proud and humble the wise.


And believe me... YOU will grow up very quickly.

 

[Joudie]

It kinda looks staged to me for some reason. But if it isn't, then I think the mom over-reacted. Then again, no one knows the whole context of the situation, either.

If anyone else didn't see the video, I think I found it on YouTube:

edit...Removed offensive link JG

 

[jgredline]

This is the type of thread that will do nothing and go no place.... :-?