Gonna need a time line for this.
School - bullied since primary. Often seen as loner - developed a strong desire to be alone and self reliant. grew to enjoy being alone. Failed twice due to lack of attendance.
First signs of problems post school was while on course in the Military, In a nutshell I was placed with a bunch of people that i could not work with for various reasons, it drove me mad - ended up getting into fight while in Michigan and knocked a bunch of them out - threatened with jail. Resorted to self destructive behavior. Seen psychologist in order to remain in service. Psychologist sessions were conducted i have no clue of the results but i was allowed to remain with the Military.
I was involved in a vehicle collision while in the military where i was the passenger - this caused me to have great anxiety when driving with another person. If i was not driving i did not go in another car.
January 2009
Left military because i was a reservist and was not able to pry out enough income to live.Ended up selling first vehicle and prized possession (my drums) Went to Jasper Alberta working as a night security guard. Worked for about 1 month and bought a truck then got fired. They fired me because i had a starter pistol in my possession. Police were involved but no charges laid or anything because i was not in violation of the law.
Lived in truck/church for 2 weeks while looking for work.
Found job in next town working for a Canadian Tire store. Got an apartment and 600% bike. worked for a few weeks then got fired. The reasons were because A. was in the military and it made others uncomfortable and B. because i had seen a psychologist because i was experiencing depression due to my first firing and temporary homelessness.
I had to sell my truck, bike and what things i had and i also lost my apartment. And hitch hike to Edmonton to get a plane ride back to Nova Scotia to live with my parents.
At this point i racked up 4000$ in credit card dept, 550$ in cell phone charges and had lost everything again.
At this point i have developed onset insomnia and was even more socially withdrawn.
I found work in Alberta once more. I packed up and moved to Kananaskis Alberta. I was a campground maintenance person. I worked there for about a month. I got fired.
I left work early one because i was having great stress at my job. It was not the job it was the people. My boss was insane. The day i left he actually wanted me to use a golf cart to drag dead fall a few kilometers on a highway to the dump. He made false allegations that my driving was bad and such.
Anyway when i got home i decided to make a camp fire to relax, so i grabbed a hatchet and gathered wood. I then decided to hack at a large tree to vent some anger i had built up. I then went inside to get a drink and put some music on and about 10 minutes later the RCMP at at my door weapons drawn.
I would come to learn while in a holding cell in a place called Canmore that my crazy Boss called the RCMP and said that i was waiving an axe around and a loaded shotgun. The guy never laid any charges...but someone else did. My roommate a 15 year old brat told the RCMP that i pointed a shotgun and handgun at him on different occasions between the 7th and 10th of July. (I was arrested on the 19th)
I got 5 charges on me. 2 pointing a firearm, 2 carrying a firearm and one careless storage.
I then spent almost 2 weeks in the Calgary Remand center where i needed to see many psychologists because i passed out due to hyperventilation, i never ate for the 2 weeks. I was finally released on bail.
All the money i saved was needed to go back to Nova Scotia.
Now i have no job, even more dept, I lost everything i had again, i cannot afford a proper lawyer so i have legal aide, my legal aide lawyer knows next to nothing about firearms law, she has already lied to me twice and even said on the phone that "she thinks i am guilty and in denial".
So now i have been diagnosed with PTSD which comes in a nice packages with all the flashbacks, nightmares, no sleep, random fits of anger, hypervigilance. My triggers include people, seeing police or police cars, small spaces such as the backseat of a car or even washroom, discussing the events ( i am only able to type this out with the aide of a few beers, otherwise I'd be a wreck now)
O and if that were not enough i have entertained thoughts of suicide for a few days now.
Ain't life just wonderful .
FYI: I left out about a hundred other small things as well in the above.
School - bullied since primary. Often seen as loner - developed a strong desire to be alone and self reliant. grew to enjoy being alone. Failed twice due to lack of attendance.
First signs of problems post school was while on course in the Military, In a nutshell I was placed with a bunch of people that i could not work with for various reasons, it drove me mad - ended up getting into fight while in Michigan and knocked a bunch of them out - threatened with jail. Resorted to self destructive behavior. Seen psychologist in order to remain in service. Psychologist sessions were conducted i have no clue of the results but i was allowed to remain with the Military.
I was involved in a vehicle collision while in the military where i was the passenger - this caused me to have great anxiety when driving with another person. If i was not driving i did not go in another car.
January 2009
Left military because i was a reservist and was not able to pry out enough income to live.Ended up selling first vehicle and prized possession (my drums) Went to Jasper Alberta working as a night security guard. Worked for about 1 month and bought a truck then got fired. They fired me because i had a starter pistol in my possession. Police were involved but no charges laid or anything because i was not in violation of the law.
Lived in truck/church for 2 weeks while looking for work.
Found job in next town working for a Canadian Tire store. Got an apartment and 600% bike. worked for a few weeks then got fired. The reasons were because A. was in the military and it made others uncomfortable and B. because i had seen a psychologist because i was experiencing depression due to my first firing and temporary homelessness.
I had to sell my truck, bike and what things i had and i also lost my apartment. And hitch hike to Edmonton to get a plane ride back to Nova Scotia to live with my parents.
At this point i racked up 4000$ in credit card dept, 550$ in cell phone charges and had lost everything again.
At this point i have developed onset insomnia and was even more socially withdrawn.
I found work in Alberta once more. I packed up and moved to Kananaskis Alberta. I was a campground maintenance person. I worked there for about a month. I got fired.
I left work early one because i was having great stress at my job. It was not the job it was the people. My boss was insane. The day i left he actually wanted me to use a golf cart to drag dead fall a few kilometers on a highway to the dump. He made false allegations that my driving was bad and such.
Anyway when i got home i decided to make a camp fire to relax, so i grabbed a hatchet and gathered wood. I then decided to hack at a large tree to vent some anger i had built up. I then went inside to get a drink and put some music on and about 10 minutes later the RCMP at at my door weapons drawn.
I would come to learn while in a holding cell in a place called Canmore that my crazy Boss called the RCMP and said that i was waiving an axe around and a loaded shotgun. The guy never laid any charges...but someone else did. My roommate a 15 year old brat told the RCMP that i pointed a shotgun and handgun at him on different occasions between the 7th and 10th of July. (I was arrested on the 19th)
I got 5 charges on me. 2 pointing a firearm, 2 carrying a firearm and one careless storage.
I then spent almost 2 weeks in the Calgary Remand center where i needed to see many psychologists because i passed out due to hyperventilation, i never ate for the 2 weeks. I was finally released on bail.
All the money i saved was needed to go back to Nova Scotia.
Now i have no job, even more dept, I lost everything i had again, i cannot afford a proper lawyer so i have legal aide, my legal aide lawyer knows next to nothing about firearms law, she has already lied to me twice and even said on the phone that "she thinks i am guilty and in denial".
So now i have been diagnosed with PTSD which comes in a nice packages with all the flashbacks, nightmares, no sleep, random fits of anger, hypervigilance. My triggers include people, seeing police or police cars, small spaces such as the backseat of a car or even washroom, discussing the events ( i am only able to type this out with the aide of a few beers, otherwise I'd be a wreck now)
O and if that were not enough i have entertained thoughts of suicide for a few days now.
Ain't life just wonderful .
FYI: I left out about a hundred other small things as well in the above.
