Interracial Marrage

[abide]

I am hoping that this post does not degenerate into a racist commentary.

I have read on various networking sites, the pros and cons of interracial marriage. It has become a very contentious topic.

First I must say that I would prefer to be married to someone of my ethnicity.
This does not mean I would have something negative to say if I see a interracial couple.

Sometime ago at work, one of my co-workers was discussing this same topic.
I made the statement that if Caucasian people could not marry people with my skin colour in 1812, I don't see why they would want me to marry one of theirs in 2012.

Here in Barbados the black population is almost 90%. There is about 5% whites and the other 5% is mixed of Indian and Syrian/Lebanese and Chinese. Whites have never been close to the black population except in the work place. They never socialise, so having a relationship with them would be unheard of.

I have never been to school with white folks, never socialised with them. I know that there are people who left Barbados in the 50's and 60's for England and whose children ended up marrying white folks. They were in school together, plus the black population in England is in the minority.

Today, however a few whites are marrying blacks. A few years ago this would not have happened. After free secondary education was given to all children here in 1960, white children were sitting side by side with black children. When the children became friends, the parents of the whites felt that the best thing to do if their son/daughter was becoming interested in a black boy or girl. They were sent to Australia or New Zealand.

I believe that people of the same ethnicity should be together. Some may not agree with me, but I think that considering what children have to endure it may be the best thing. Love knows no bounds and colour should not be use to prevent two people who are in love from getting married, but knowing human nature, I think this MAY BE THE BEST THING.

Racism is still deeply entrenched in the psyche of some white folks and black folks and I believe that to avoid all the unnecessary confusion, we should stick to the thing we know best.

Some have argued that it is better to marry someone from another ethnicity who loves you than just marrying someone JUST BECAUSE they have have your skin colour, that may be reasonable, and perhaps may be the exception rather than the rule. All things being equal, I still believe in sticking with your own people.

Someone asked me why I would prefer a black man to a white, I just said, I prefer to have someone sleeping next to me that looks like me and my children like both of us. No hard feelings. If white folks feel this way, I see nothing wrong with their views either.

No hard feelings..just telling it like it is.

 

[reba]

for the most part.. We are the human race.....

 

[Mike S]

Thank you for your honesty, and there are no hard feelings.

Blacks and whites should be able to intermarry if they want, and I've known several interracial couples, both black man/white woman and white man/black woman. Most are still happily married but a few have broken up. Social pressures are still strong and pull against interracial couples more than same race couples. Men and women have to consider all cultural and ethnic differences - race, religion, etc, - when marrying before underestimating the stresses those differences can bring.

In any event, a strong faith, and commitment to each other, is necessary to make any marriage work to God's glory.

 

[abide]

Thank you for your honesty, and there are no hard feelings.

Blacks and whites should be able to intermarry if they want, and I've known several interracial couples, both black man/white woman and white man/black woman. Most are still happily married but a few have broken up. Social pressures are still strong and pull against interracial couples more than same race couples. Men and women have to consider all cultural and ethnic differences - race, religion, etc, - when marrying before underestimating the stresses those differences can bring.

In any event, a strong faith, and commitment to each other, is necessary to make any marriage work to God's glory.

I have to agree. As you said social pressures are still strong. I think in the best interest of the children this should be a consideration.

 

[abide]

for the most part.. We are the human race.....

This is true...BUT the reality is that human nature is the same and has not changed.

 

[txgirlmaddy]

in my opinion people are too afraid to tell you what they really think on this subject. isn't that a shame? because now these talks are happening behind closed doors and not out in the open where we can discuss it. i kinda think that talking behind closed doors is almost like talking behind another persons back, surely not Godly. so i bet you if people were allowed a safe place to say what they really think about interracial marriage, it would help us all. but it doesn't seem there is anywhere that would accept that because the people that express anti-interracial marriage views would be attacked and maligned and persecuted, so if u ever wonder why we keep having this debate, its because we never really ever had the debate to start with.

 

[handy]

People should be able to marry who they want and I'm of the same opinion as Reba.... there's one race and it's called "human".

However, reality is there is racial tension... in some places even more than others. Most likely, my son will enter an inter-racial marriage... at any rate, it's most likely he'll date a lot of white girls... and that's OK... He can marry whom he wants and inter-racial marriages around here are common enough. We know a few kids with a black dad and white mom, or a white dad and Hispanic mom and the kids don't get any grief from it.

My husband's cousin is in an inter-racial marriage and, while they've had some minor incidents (like a shop clerk automatically assuming that her husband was a thief), their daughter is accepted where ever she goes. They live in Pittsburgh. We live in Idaho... Idaho is pretty, "live and let live"... Pittsburgh has a mix of a number of races.

I think when there is a overwhelming predominance of one race, then racial intermarriage becomes more of an issue because racism itself is more of an issue. Now, Idaho is predominately white with Hispanic as the dominate minority and there aren't all that many blacks. However, there's also a very large libertarian mind set here, so inter racial marriage doesn't seem to be an issue.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

All things being equal, I still believe in sticking with your own people.

I do too...and in sticking to your own age group, and socio-economic group.

Your fundamental natural interests and desires lie within the boundaries of your own age, race, and socio-economic setting. If you marry outside of these, sooner or later you, or your spouse, will be tempted by what by nature and nurture is more attractive to you. This can happen even if you don't marry outside of your group, but the potential for it happening is greater if you venture outside of your group.

But don't get me wrong. I'm all for any interracial marriage between two people who are truly romantically attracted to each other.

No hard feelings..just telling it like it is.

No hard feelings here. Jethro Bodine calls em likes he sees 'em.

 

[handy]

I agreed with a lot of that Jethro..

Often, the differences in race has a lot more to do with the differences in culture. This is true even in one American city... often, people do stick within their own culture and as time goes by even evolve a new culture... For instance, coming from the Modesto area of California... One city... but if one crossed certain tracks or went North or South or East or West... the difference in culture between South 9th Street and Scenic Drive was incredible...even though pretty much everyone was white. It wasn't race, it was culture. (I did live in Modesto a very long time ago, I understand that it's changed drastically since I've lived there.)

Whereas here in Idaho... especially where we live, the culture is pretty "live and let live"... It really isn't a black/white couple that will raise eyebrows as much as if one hears that one of the Nazarenes is marrying a Mormon...now that really raises eyebrows..

 

[jasoncran]

well by looking at my avatar one can see what i have married. no that isnt my wife with my daughter. that is my step-family. both are american-indian. jaci is cherokee. monica is seminole and so is my wife. nathan looks the least indian but still has it.

jews, not that i dont beat that to death her,lol. are or were known to ban gentile-jew marriages. well dad did just that and my grandparents werent happy they didnt like my mom and let dad now. it changed when i was born and well my mom gets a seperate check from my grandma's estate. that is a miracle if you know anything about jews.

 

[jasoncran]

ed!well i guess i didnt and wont if i ever divorced and wanted to date again.

 

[joethemechanic]

I was in an interracial relationship years ago and didn't even know it. She was Syrian. Her family lived around here for a long time and they didn't talk funny or anything, so nobody treated them any different.

It's funny because they lived in the middle of a rednecky neighborhood, and it wasn't like they hid the fact that they were from Syria. They even had a Muslim surname although they were Baptist.

I guess it wasn't about race, it was about culture

 

[Carolyn]

Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. So I don't think He cares who we marry as long as Christians are equallly "yoked" or joined to other Christians. I do know that God does not tolerate hatred and that he has knocked down the walls that divide Jew from Gentiles, men from women etc. So I am poitive that He is displeased with discrimination.
But culture does make a lot of difference as to preferances and other values. Some Christians put a lot of emphasis on social etiquette, table manners etc. which seems very superficial to me.
I would put more emphasis on language and the ability to communicate effectively with each other. There are some people whose dialects I am unable to understand even though they speak English. They may be from Louisianna, parts of New York, or from parts of Australia where a Cockney like dialect is used.
Some people enjoy large social gatherings or large cities while others enjoy the solidtude of a Forest Ranger's lookout tower. Some like the life of a farmer or rancher. Some enjoy small towns. Some like small churches of 100 members or less and others want larger churches with activities for all ages.
All of these make a big difference in compatibility. I am sure you can think of other things such as food preferances, how to raise kids, money issues and in-laws. But a deep commitment to Christ is, of course, most important. It is by His grace and wisdom that we overcome the remaining differences and find Godly solutions to problems.
Some communities are much more tolerant toward inter racial marriage than others. Ours is very tolarent. I hear that Hawaii is also. But 40 years ago I saw kids beat up and bullied over these issues in this community. Things do change.
Now it is politicly correct to tollerate most anyone or anything except people who are overweight or conservative Christians.

 

[DarkHorseRising]

I am hoping that this post does not degenerate into a racist commentary.

I like how you preemptively throw out there that you don't want a disgusting racial post to degenerate into racial commentary. I think you know perfectly well how acceptable your comments are in civilized circles, and you're covering your behind.

I believe that people of the same ethnicity should be together. Some may not agree with me, but I think that considering what children have to endure it may be the best thing. Love knows no bounds and colour should not be use to prevent two people who are in love from getting married, but knowing human nature, I think this MAY BE THE BEST THING.

I was prepared to tell you what I really think of this, and accept banishment for major ToS violations. But you'd probably consider that a victory. So, I'll just tell you how the REAL world is.

You appear to belong to an older generation, possibly a baby boomer. So perhaps you can be somewhat forgiven for such repulsive opinions. Your generation is one of the last to know racial hatred in any significant way. So while you're welcome to your opinions on which race it's "best" to get married to, I'll take comfort in the knowledge that such views are slowly becoming an endangered species. Generation X'ers are pretty laid back about this sort of thing, and Generation Y is about as colorblind as you can get. We just don't care about the people we hang around with, befriend, or date being of certain ethnicity. And we're the ones who will be taking over the wold while your generation is cold in the ground.

 

[abide]

Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. So I don't think He cares who we marry as long as Christians are equallly "yoked" or joined to other Christians. I do know that God does not tolerate hatred and that he has knocked down the walls that divide Jew from Gentiles, men from women etc. So I am poitive that He is displeased with discrimination.
But culture does make a lot of difference as to preferances and other values. Some Christians put a lot of emphasis on social etiquette, table manners etc. which seems very superficial to me.
I would put more emphasis on language and the ability to communicate effectively with each other. There are some people whose dialects I am unable to understand even though they speak English. They may be from Louisianna, parts of New York, or from parts of Australia where a Cockney like dialect is used.
Some people enjoy large social gatherings or large cities while others enjoy the solidtude of a Forest Ranger's lookout tower. Some like the life of a farmer or rancher. Some enjoy small towns. Some like small churches of 100 members or less and others want larger churches with activities for all ages.
All of these make a big difference in compatibility. I am sure you can think of other things such as food preferances, how to raise kids, money issues and in-laws. But a deep commitment to Christ is, of course, most important. It is by His grace and wisdom that we overcome the remaining differences and find Godly solutions to problems.
Some communities are much more tolerant toward inter racial marriage than others. Ours is very tolarent. I hear that Hawaii is also. But 40 years ago I saw kids beat up and bullied over these issues in this community. Things do change.
Now it is politicly correct to tollerate most anyone or anything except people who are overweight or conservative Christians.

I understand what you are saying, marriages have difficulties whether they are interracial or not. I believe even though we are Christians I think that deep down in our hearts blacks and whites feel more comfortable with people of their own ethnic and cultural group. Being a Christian does not alter that fact.

Some years ago a pastor from Trinidad here in the Caribbean who was sent to a church in the USA advised black Caribbean people who had emigrated to the USA, that they should rethink the idea of marrying blacks from the USA. He argued that despite the fact that African Americans are black, there was still a wide cultural difference between them and the blacks from the Caribbean.
If I had to marry an African American I would prefer a man from the Southern part of the USA. From observation, the behaviour and the cultural norms seems similar to those here in the Caribbean.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

...in-laws.

Yikes! The dreaded 'I' word. And it has nothing to do with the Internet. But wouldn't it be nice if In-laws meant your spouses family you only see on the Internet?

Now it is politicly correct to tollerate most anyone or anything except people who are overweight or conservative Christians.

How 'bout the overweight, conservative Christian? Double whammy! Ouch!

 

[abide]

I like how you preemptively throw out there that you don't want a disgusting racial post to degenerate into racial commentary. I think you know perfectly well how acceptable your comments are in civilized circles, and you're covering your behind.



I was prepared to tell you what I really think of this, and accept banishment for major ToS violations. But you'd probably consider that a victory. So, I'll just tell you how the REAL world is.

You appear to belong to an older generation, possibly a baby boomer. So perhaps you can be somewhat forgiven for such repulsive opinions. Your generation is one of the last to know racial hatred in any significant way. So while you're welcome to your opinions on which race it's "best" to get married to, I'll take comfort in the knowledge that such views are slowly becoming an endangered species. Generation X'ers are pretty laid back about this sort of thing, and Generation Y is about as colorblind as you can get. We just don't care about the people we hang around with, befriend, or date being of certain ethnicity. And we're the ones who will be taking over the wold while your generation is cold in the ground.

Mr. Darkhorserising.

Why are you getting so hot under the collar. I made my statements, and as I said this is my opinion, and I know everyone will not agree. The purpose of writing a post is not for people to agree. I am an honest black woman and I have no apologies to make. If you and your generation take over the world, that is your business. I have made my point and I have no hard feelings. So do not get all bent and twisted. By the way what is your ethnicity..it really does not matter. I am a black woman AND I WOULD PREFER TO MARRY A BLACK MAN..If this statement offends you that is your problem. You can date, marry anyone you like that is your privilege. I think you need to realise what the word freedom means. You have the freedom to say what you think and I have that same freedom. I have that same freedom and choice to marry a man that I think I want. Do you have a problem with that. This is a forum where people are encouraged to express themselves. I have not insulted anyone from any race. What I do not engage in is hypocrisy. I say what I feel in my heart. I do not make statements just for people to agree or disagree. I say what I say because that is how I am. Whether people agree or not is irrevelant.

 

[joethemechanic]

I like how you preemptively throw out there that you don't want a disgusting racial post to degenerate into racial commentary. I think you know perfectly well how acceptable your comments are in civilized circles, and you're covering your behind.



I was prepared to tell you what I really think of this, and accept banishment for major ToS violations. But you'd probably consider that a victory. So, I'll just tell you how the REAL world is.

You appear to belong to an older generation, possibly a baby boomer. So perhaps you can be somewhat forgiven for such repulsive opinions. Your generation is one of the last to know racial hatred in any significant way. So while you're welcome to your opinions on which race it's "best" to get married to, I'll take comfort in the knowledge that such views are slowly becoming an endangered species. Generation X'ers are pretty laid back about this sort of thing, and Generation Y is about as colorblind as you can get. We just don't care about the people we hang around with, befriend, or date being of certain ethnicity. And we're the ones who will be taking over the wold while your generation is cold in the ground.

There are plenty of guys your age who are against interracial relationships. I was just talking to a kid that was 24 and he was using the "N" word. And he wasn't using it to try and sound like he was black. Racism is alive and well in generation X and Y. It's just kept low around liberals and minorities.

Go over to stormfront, it's loaded with guys your age

 

[jasoncran]

uh we dont have them here . ran into them. im not offended by abide statement she isnt against marrige of different races just stating her preference.

i have dated black women a time or do. been hurt. im not all that atracted to black women. im married now and if you think that im racist look at the avatar that dark skinned baby will know me as her grandad and the only "father" figure she may ever have. hardly racist.

when i was single i prefered latinos. i never go to date one as well im white and dated white women as well. but i did find latinos the most atractive.

preference that is all.

 

[DarkHorseRising]

Mr. Darkhorserising.

Why are you getting so hot under the collar. I made my statements, and as I said this is my opinion, and I know everyone will not agree. The purpose of writing a post is not for people to agree. I am an honest black woman and I have no apologies to make. If you and your generation take over the world, that is your business. I have made my point and I have no hard feelings. So do not get all bent and twisted. By the way what is your ethnicity..it really does not matter. I am a black woman AND I WOULD PREFER TO MARRY A BLACK MAN..If this statement offends you that is your problem. You can date, marry anyone you like that is your privilege. I think you need to realise what the word freedom means. You have the freedom to say what you think and I have that same freedom. I have that same freedom and choice to marry a man that I think I want. Do you have a problem with that. This is a forum where people are encouraged to express themselves. I have not insulted anyone from any race. What I do not engage in is hypocrisy. I say what I feel in my heart. I do not make statements just for people to agree or disagree. I say what I say because that is how I am. Whether people agree or not is irrevelant.

My issue was not with your personal desire or preference. It was the part of your psting where you said things such as:

I believe that people of the same ethnicity should be together.

You can date whoever you want, but if you're advocating for all people to date only their own race, it's not just your personal preference anymore.