Nothing More Than a Handshake Please

[abide]

Some time ago I met a couple from my church who became my friends.

One day at church the husband said, how are you and proceeded to hug me. When he hugged me I felt this stiffness in his groin. I pulled away. Since then I do not hug men. I believe a handshake is enough. I do not like a man hugging a woman and her breast rubbing on his stomach. Some might think I am paranoid, but I will not give men, whether they are Christians or not cheap thrills. Men should hug their wives in this fashion. Why would he have this stiffness (would not call it an erection) but it was very embarrassing to say the least.

 

[DarkHorseRising]

Hm, people just normally hug each other, I don't know anyone who shakes hands outside of business encounters. I'm sorry one jerk ruined it for you, but you shouldn't assume all men are simply after "cheap thrills". If you don't like being hugged, you could immediately stick your hand out every time you meet people, centered in front of you. That way they can't hug you without impaling themselves.

Or just give them a high-five, or a fist pump, or something.

On another note, I'd avoid anime conventions if I were you. Glomping is hugely popular. It's basically an affectionate attack-hug.

 

[jasoncran]

Hm, people just normally hug each other, I don't know anyone who shakes hands outside of business encounters. I'm sorry one jerk ruined it for you, but you shouldn't assume all men are simply after "cheap thrills". If you don't like being hugged, you could immediately stick your hand out every time you meet people, centered in front of you. That way they can't hug you without impaling themselves.

Or just give them a high-five, or a fist pump, or something.

On another note, I'd avoid anime conventions if I were you. Glomping is hugely popular. It's basically an affectionate attack-hug.

glomping yeah real fun. we did the rowdy bounce in formations. that was well funny

 

[Jethro Bodine]

One day at church the husband said, how are you and proceeded to hug me. When he hugged me I felt this stiffness in his groin. I pulled away.:

As long as it doesn't last for more than four hours I think it's okay.

I believe a handshake is enough. I do not like a man hugging a woman and her breast rubbing on his stomach.

(On a serious note)
I think every church has someone who's all too willing to hug the female congregates. Years ago a married man used to make it a point of hugging my wife this way and leaving me twisting in the wind. Anyone who's been in a huggy church knows hugs go around regardless of sex. But when only the females get targeted by a man you have a problem on your hands. To any guy who is doing this I want them to know everybody can see how you are targeting females, so stop thinking it's your little secret thrill. It's obvious to everyone.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Or just give them a high-five, or a fist pump, or something.

Passing gas helps maintain a healthy distance from others, too...um...so I'm told.

 

[Speculative]

I agree with the OP. I'm not really into the whole hugging thing

 

[reba]

Me to Abide i am not to huggy....

 

[Jethro Bodine]

I agree with the OP. I'm not really into the whole hugging thing

I am.

When I get charged up with the Holy Spirit, look out saints! Male and female alike.

There's just nothing like a group of God's people experiencing and enjoying the presence of the Holy Spirit in Bible studies, and praise and worship, and in their daily lives, then enjoying the kinship and affection it produces among them.

"...love one another deeply, from the heart." (1 Peter 1:22 NIV1984)

2 Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, 2 make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit..." (Philippians 2:1-2 NASB)

 

[rrowell]

I am.

When I get charged up with the Holy Spirit, look out saints! Male and female alike.

There's just nothing like a group of God's people experiencing and enjoying the presence of the Holy Spirit in Bible studies, and praise and worship, and in their daily lives, then enjoying the kinship and affection it produces among them.

"...love one another deeply, from the heart." (1 Peter 1:22 NIV1984)

2 Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, 2 make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit..." (Philippians 2:1-2 NASB)

Paul addressing the Corinthians:

1 Corinthians 7:1-5 (KJV)
¹Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
²Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
³Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
⁴The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
⁵Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Paul addressing the Corinthians:

1 Corinthians 7:1-5 (KJV)
¹Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
²Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
³Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
⁴The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
⁵Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

16 "Greet one another with a holy kiss." (Romans 16:16 NASB)

HOLY affection is good and right and is encouraged in the Bible. So we know 'touching a woman' does not mean the holy affection he encourages.

If a man can't hug or kiss another woman without lust in his heart then that is the one who should stay clear of them. I personally don't have a problem with that, so hugs are okay with me. Now if the ladies get a little too excited when I hug them, even though my heart is pure, well, what can I say. ;)

 

[reba]

In past times i have been known to 'throw a right' .

Very often the Lord lets us ladies quietly know who is huggable and who is not....

 

[rrowell]

16 "Greet one another with a holy kiss." (Romans 16:16 NASB)

HOLY affection is good and right and is encouraged in the Bible. So we know 'touching a woman' does not mean the holy affection he encourages.

If a man can't hug or kiss another woman without lust in his heart then that is the one who should stay clear of them. I personally don't have a problem with that, so hugs are okay with me. Now if the ladies get a little too excited when I hug them, even though my heart is pure, well, what can I say. ;)

to the "HOLY affection" I agree, for I believe in the day this was penned it was of general custom for men and women to greet each other (as is today in some culture) with a kiss to the cheek...

So if your Holy affection to the sisters is a Holy kiss to the cheek, then too should you do the same to your male members, however if it is with your male members a Holy handshake, then too should it be with the sisters...

Your "Holy Greeting" should be for all the members, and not distinguishable between the sex... (unless the sex is making it different and subject to making it Unholy)

 

[BornAgain]

16 "Greet one another with a holy kiss." (Romans 16:16 NASB)

HOLY affection is good and right and is encouraged in the Bible. So we know 'touching a woman' does not mean the holy affection he encourages.

If a man can't hug or kiss another woman without lust in his heart then that is the one who should stay clear of them. I personally don't have a problem with that, so hugs are okay with me. Now if the ladies get a little too excited when I hug them, even though my heart is pure, well, what can I say. ;)

I, as a woman disagree. It should not be up to us to determine who has "good intentions" and who does not. What if 2 men were standing side by side, one with true and holy intentions and one with lust in his heart? Am I to shake the hand of the lustful man and hug the holy man? I think it should be avoided all together and a proper handshake is sufficient for me.

 

[Classik]

Passing gas helps maintain a healthy distance from others, too...um...so I'm told.

hahahahahaha

 

[Classik]

It all depends on the individual. You may choose to hug or not hug an opposite sex. How about: the holy kiss ;)

 

[Jethro Bodine]

to the "HOLY affection" I agree, for I believe in the day this was penned it was of general custom for men and women to greet each other (as is today in some culture) with a kiss to the cheek...

So if your Holy affection to the sisters is a Holy kiss to the cheek, then too should you do the same to your male members, however if it is with your male members a Holy handshake, then too should it be with the sisters...

Your "Holy Greeting" should be for all the members, and not distinguishable between the sex... (unless the sex is making it different and subject to making it Unholy)

Don't think I do the kissing thing, lol. That's not part of American culture. Only very close friends (male/female) politely kiss in American society. The point I was making is Paul hardly meant 'not touch a woman' meant to utterly not touch them in any way shape or form.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Am I to shake the hand of the lustful man and hug the holy man? I think it should be avoided all together and a proper handshake is sufficient for me.

Yes it is...but so is the hug. That's the point. Biblically, it's okay to hug. And in American culture showing non sexual affection via the hug is still embraced (pun intended).

I'm not that old, but I remember when handshakes were what men did, not women. I remember it feeling very awkward shaking hands with women. I'm over it now. It's what we Americans do now.

 

[rrowell]

Don't think I do the kissing thing, lol. That's not part of American culture. Only very close friends (male/female) politely kiss in American society. The point I was making is Paul hardly meant 'not touch a woman' meant to utterly not touch them in any way shape or form.

Agree, but to paraphrase what he IS saying is "don't do anything that could cause one to lust".

I have yet to hear of anyone aroused by a hand shake, and there is a proper way in American culture to shake a woman's hand and it is different then that of a man...

 

[BornAgain]

Yes it is...but so is the hug. That's the point. Biblically, it's okay to hug. And in American culture showing non sexual affection via the hug is still embraced (pun intended).

I'm not that old, but I remember when handshakes were what men did, not women. I remember it feeling very awkward shaking hands with women. I'm over it now. It's what we Americans do now.

Tell me where "biblically" it is ok to hug.

I am referring to Romans 16:16. Salute one another with a holy kiss.<!--EndFragment-->

We have no example of the apostles practicing it. It is nowhere mentioned in the body of the letters, but is given at the close, among the incidentals and the salutations to the individual....Shaking of hands is now substituted for it in almost all Christian congregations.<!--EndFragment-->

<!--EndFragment-->

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Tell me where "biblically" it is ok to hug.

I am referring to Romans 16:16. Salute one another with a holy kiss.<!--EndFragment-->

We have no example of the apostles practicing it. It is nowhere mentioned in the body of the letters, but is given at the close, among the incidentals and the salutations to the individual....Shaking of hands is now substituted for it in almost all Christian congregations.<!--EndFragment-->

<!--EndFragment-->

"36 When he had said these things, he knelt down and prayed with them all. 37 And they began to weep aloud and embraced Paul, and repeatedly kissed him, 38 grieving especially over the word which he had spoken, that they would not see his face again. And they were accompanying him to the ship." (Acts 20:36-38 NASB)