Started living day by day with God!

[AIR]

I have had a lot of problems & ignorance so far but now I have started living day by day. I don't think anymore how long it has been since the last time I drank alcohol etc.. Now I keep thinking every morning from the beginning that I should NOT to do these things today, so it feels like I start everyday again but actually I don't start from the beginning, I just think that way. If I think "It's been a month since I drank" then I start feeling like I need a drink.

My life has come a lot of better in this one year when I started to live as a Christian. It was very hard because I fell in alcohol & other sinning a LOT! And I was pretty depressed and stuff but so far, I've learned that the route to the Christ is not quick. It takes a lot of time to become a righteous ;)

However, the life is not easy for me now. Alcohol and other addictions are now a lot of easier to solve but still I'm not OK :o I'm pretty much scared of my destiny and somehow I think that God does not hear me, even I'm praying every day to find answers and feel something. As I said, I feel a bit scared like now because I think that God has forgotten me somehow. I still keep getting anxious of my pretty anxious past.

Every day I'm being scared that what if I had committed Blasphemy against Holy Spirit and I would not to be saved because of that. As well, I'm pretty scared because I have given a lot of chances to become a better Christian but I have ruined my chances so I feel like I don't have any more chances Also, I still carry my past on my shoulders and I want to get rid of my memories from the past and all things that I'm not proud but it's pretty hard because I always keep thinking of my past and then I become anxious.

Now, I have told to my friend that I will start going to church congregation once in two weeks and I've thought that I start going to churches regularly and start my new life as a righteous Christian because I've decided that Christianity, God + Jesus love is the thing I really need. I thought a while what would hell be alike and I decided "No! No! No! I do NOT want to go there". I don't want to get tortured every morning, day & night. I want to hang out with Angels and feel no pain

I really wish that I'd feel a lot of better and stop worrying. My friend promised that I will find more Christian friends in the Church and I surely waiting for that!

Anyways, I'd like to thank everyone of you for making my life better. And yeah, I'd say that I've already got a lot of Christian friends, it's all of you!

God bless you & wish he blesses me and opens the door for me.

AIR

 

[Speculative]

God Bless you, AIR. Just keep walking with God, day by day. I know I stumble a lot, but God is always there to pick me up. He's there for you, too. He is faithful and quick to forgive you when you turn to Him. I think just the fact that you are concerned you may have blasphemed against the Holy Spirit is evidence that you have not done that. Remember the people Jesus was talking too when he spoke about that sin definitely weren't. So, I wouldn't worry overmuch about that.

 

[farouk]

In the prayer that the Lord taught His disciples He said, 'Thy will be done...give us this day our daily bread' (Matthew 6).

 

[AIR]

God Bless you, AIR. Just keep walking with God, day by day. I know I stumble a lot, but God is always there to pick me up. He's there for you, too. He is faithful and quick to forgive you when you turn to Him. I think just the fact that you are concerned you may have blasphemed against the Holy Spirit is evidence that you have not done that. Remember the people Jesus was talking too when he spoke about that sin definitely weren't. So, I wouldn't worry overmuch about that.

I'm walking, I'm walking with God & looking forward for new things such as Churches and Church meetings. They are pretty new things for me because I haven't been in the Church a lot. I know right God is faithful but I'm wondering that why I don't feel anything specific & it makes me think that I have done something wrong that I'm not a specific anymore. A year ago I was watching videos that described Heaven and I felt very warm inside of me and I started to cry. It felt amazing but mostly I'm worried that afterwards I kept falling to alcohol and other sinning and I feel like that I had my chance but I screwed it up =( Now I'm pretty much sure that I want to live with God and I want to stop sinning as I wrote earlier ;)

 

[Speculative]

Hey, AIR--Have you spent time in Ecclesiastes? That book got me through a lot of times when I was younger. Ecclesiastes 12:13 puts the whole thing in perspective (and happens to be my life verse). Also in the Psalms David (in particular, but there are other writers) experiences the Highs and Lows of a life serving God. There's a lot in there that should resonate with how you're feeling.

 

[AIR]

Thanks Speculative! I will take a look at it sometime I wish I could find peace of mind in my life, it's just hard NOT to think about the past. I was different person and I wanted to be something that I don't want to be anymore. Is it fear of God if you fear you've committed blasphemy? Because I keep fearing Going to have a glass of coke now! (pretend that pepsi is coke )

 

[AIR]

I went to a church service by a free will for the first time of my life . Eh, I've been in church services with school but now actually I've gone there by free will as I want to start a great route with God. It was pretty cool and I enjoyed being there, I can't wait untill the next service where I am able to go Oh, wish I had a peace of mind and I could start from the beginning with a fresh start, all of my past are still bothering me but I can't do anything about it. I just need to put my trust in God & Jesus. I just don't want to worry anymore!!

So, anyways.. What's up? I have not been talking with you guys a lot. I've been here just to solve my problems, maybe it's time to know something about you my fellow christian friends!

-AIR

 

[Speculative]

Glad you had a good experience with church, AIR. Keep up with it. Remember if you confess your sin, God is faithful to forgive, so please, don't worry about it after that. Hopefully, you can get involved in the praise music at church and focus on praising Him. Of course we do want to confess when we do sin, so I'm not saying don't worry about it at all, but once you've identified a sin, confess it, turn away from it, and praise God for his faithfulness. We all will fall from time to time in this lifetime, but God is faithful to keep forgiving us and picking us up so long as we keep turning to Him.

 

[for_his_glory]

AIR, in reading through your post I can only gather you have not been Baptized in the Holy Spirit or have much knowledge of Gods Spirit and if you were you might need a refreshing of the Holy Spirit as you seem to be trying to forget your past, but seem to continue in dwelling in your past. The past is just that, the past. No, you have not blasphemed the Holy Spirit as that would be denouncing Gods Spirit and I can see in your speaking you have never done that. The more you read and study the word of God and grow in Him the more you will let go of your past and seek out that of where God wants you to be within His purpose and timing of His ministry.

I could not even count how many times I felt like I failed Him, but that is what His grace is all about that we can always come boldly to His throne of grace as He will always forgive a sincere heart of repentance. I am glad you have found a Church you like and you will make friends you can fellowship with. From this day forward put your focus on Christ and what he has for you to learn as everyday is a new day and a new beginning and yesterday is only a memory. You are saved by grace and nothing you can do on your own can ever make you righteous as it is Gods righteousness that works in us perfecting us daily to be made in the image of His son Christ Jesus. Keep going forward step by step, day, by day and like the rest of us who are doing the same thing you will grow stronger every day. God bless you AIR and never doubt the love of God he has for you.

 

[AIR]

AIR, in reading through your post I can only gather you have not been Baptized in the Holy Spirit or have much knowledge of Gods Spirit and if you were you might need a refreshing of the Holy Spirit as you seem to be trying to forget your past, but seem to continue in dwelling in your past. The past is just that, the past. No, you have not blasphemed the Holy Spirit as that would be denouncing Gods Spirit and I can see in your speaking you have never done that. The more you read and study the word of God and grow in Him the more you will let go of your past and seek out that of where God wants you to be within His purpose and timing of His ministry.

I could not even count how many times I felt like I failed Him, but that is what His grace is all about that we can always come boldly to His throne of grace as He will always forgive a sincere heart of repentance. I am glad you have found a Church you like and you will make friends you can fellowship with. From this day forward put your focus on Christ and what he has for you to learn as everyday is a new day and a new beginning and yesterday is only a memory. You are saved by grace and nothing you can do on your own can ever make you righteous as it is Gods righteousness that works in us perfecting us daily to be made in the image of His son Christ Jesus. Keep going forward step by step, day, by day and like the rest of us who are doing the same thing you will grow stronger every day. God bless you AIR and never doubt the love of God he has for you.

Thanks a lot of this post, I really appreciate this (and all other posts above ;)). I understand your point but as well I suffer little anxious disorder and even little things makes me anxious. I'm on the route walking with God and I know he does not want to lose me. I think the devil is trying to grab me from my route to God but i'm not letting him!!