AIR
Member
I have had a lot of problems & ignorance so far but now I have started living day by day. I don't think anymore how long it has been since the last time I drank alcohol etc.. Now I keep thinking every morning from the beginning that I should NOT to do these things today, so it feels like I start everyday again but actually I don't start from the beginning, I just think that way. If I think "It's been a month since I drank" then I start feeling like I need a drink.
My life has come a lot of better in this one year when I started to live as a Christian. It was very hard because I fell in alcohol & other sinning a LOT! And I was pretty depressed and stuff but so far, I've learned that the route to the Christ is not quick. It takes a lot of time to become a righteous ;)
However, the life is not easy for me now. Alcohol and other addictions are now a lot of easier to solve but still I'm not OK :o I'm pretty much scared of my destiny and somehow I think that God does not hear me, even I'm praying every day to find answers and feel something. As I said, I feel a bit scared like now because I think that God has forgotten me somehow. I still keep getting anxious of my pretty anxious past.
Every day I'm being scared that what if I had committed Blasphemy against Holy Spirit and I would not to be saved because of that. As well, I'm pretty scared because I have given a lot of chances to become a better Christian but I have ruined my chances so I feel like I don't have any more chances Also, I still carry my past on my shoulders and I want to get rid of my memories from the past and all things that I'm not proud but it's pretty hard because I always keep thinking of my past and then I become anxious.
Now, I have told to my friend that I will start going to church congregation once in two weeks and I've thought that I start going to churches regularly and start my new life as a righteous Christian because I've decided that Christianity, God + Jesus love is the thing I really need. I thought a while what would hell be alike and I decided "No! No! No! I do NOT want to go there". I don't want to get tortured every morning, day & night. I want to hang out with Angels and feel no pain
I really wish that I'd feel a lot of better and stop worrying. My friend promised that I will find more Christian friends in the Church and I surely waiting for that!
Anyways, I'd like to thank everyone of you for making my life better. And yeah, I'd say that I've already got a lot of Christian friends, it's all of you!
God bless you & wish he blesses me and opens the door for me.
AIR
My life has come a lot of better in this one year when I started to live as a Christian. It was very hard because I fell in alcohol & other sinning a LOT! And I was pretty depressed and stuff but so far, I've learned that the route to the Christ is not quick. It takes a lot of time to become a righteous ;)
However, the life is not easy for me now. Alcohol and other addictions are now a lot of easier to solve but still I'm not OK :o I'm pretty much scared of my destiny and somehow I think that God does not hear me, even I'm praying every day to find answers and feel something. As I said, I feel a bit scared like now because I think that God has forgotten me somehow. I still keep getting anxious of my pretty anxious past.
Every day I'm being scared that what if I had committed Blasphemy against Holy Spirit and I would not to be saved because of that. As well, I'm pretty scared because I have given a lot of chances to become a better Christian but I have ruined my chances so I feel like I don't have any more chances Also, I still carry my past on my shoulders and I want to get rid of my memories from the past and all things that I'm not proud but it's pretty hard because I always keep thinking of my past and then I become anxious.
Now, I have told to my friend that I will start going to church congregation once in two weeks and I've thought that I start going to churches regularly and start my new life as a righteous Christian because I've decided that Christianity, God + Jesus love is the thing I really need. I thought a while what would hell be alike and I decided "No! No! No! I do NOT want to go there". I don't want to get tortured every morning, day & night. I want to hang out with Angels and feel no pain
I really wish that I'd feel a lot of better and stop worrying. My friend promised that I will find more Christian friends in the Church and I surely waiting for that!
Anyways, I'd like to thank everyone of you for making my life better. And yeah, I'd say that I've already got a lot of Christian friends, it's all of you!
God bless you & wish he blesses me and opens the door for me.
AIR