Very Unhappy Newlywed

[Spring Waters]

I would say that anyone who believes they should suffer and die in their spirit because they think the God of love insists on their personal demise of spirit, integrity, self esteem. That thrives off of human suffering so as to please him, don't know their Bible.
Or God.

 

[President]

I would say that anyone who believes they should suffer and die in their spirit because they think the God of love insists on their personal demise of spirit, integrity, self esteem. That thrives off of human suffering so as to please him, don't know their Bible.
Or God.

Matthew 5:32
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

I Corinthians 7
<sup class="versenum">10 </sup>And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
<sup class="versenum">11 </sup>But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.


Matthew 19
<sup class="versenum">9 </sup>And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

I Timothy 3
3 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
<sup class="versenum">2 </sup>For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
<sup class="versenum">3 </sup>Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,
<sup class="versenum">4 </sup>Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;
<sup class="versenum">5 </sup>Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
<sup class="versenum">6 </sup>For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,

 

[losingsanity7]

I am catching up and reading on the posts. I can say that it is very helpful to hear from those who are like-minded. To date, my husband and I are still at odds, but I believ with prayer and fasting God will provide an answer. I continue to see that changing me is the first step and perhaps that can do some good. I still believe based off what I witness on a daily basis is that he certainly has some growing up to do, but I put it in God's hands.

 

[losingsanity7]

Ordinarily, I would steer this back so that the focus was on the OP who was seeking advice. If she returns to the conversation, we can get it back, but she hasn't been involved in a while. That said, we can discuss this topic in general for the sake of discussion.

I do want to stress the need for advice coming from a Christian perspective to be biblically sound. Advice to live together prior to marriage in order to gain experience in living with a future spouse is not biblical. That's called fornication, and it is against the will of God.

The wisdom of the Lord can be seen in the ineffectiveness of this approach. It doesn't prepare any two people for the life lived as one, because everything changes when the two are faced with the reality that every decision fully impacts both people and there is no walking out.

This brings me to my second objection with what I've read by one person. It is not biblical to advocate for abandoning a marriage, except, arguably, when there is infidelity. This is a Christian-based message board, and advice implying that our own happiness supersedes any vow taken before God is not biblical, shouldn't be given, and should be dismissed by the reader. God desires that we live life abundantly, but this abundance is experienced by abiding in Him; not in seeking our own gratification.

In short, there will be no promotion of sin. Fornication and disposable marriage vows are sins in the eyes of the Lord and thus, of this site. Do not promote either of them.

Thank you.

Hello again,
I certainly agree with this wholeheartedly. You should not have to live with someone prior to getting married. I have witnessed many disasters as a result and any success cannt be guided by God.
On another note, I may not have made it clear on what my reasoning for coming here was. I certainly came to seek advice. I doubt that I would find much use for a forum if had my mind been made up. Somehow, someway I still have hope. In fact, throughout every argument we recognize how little the matter is, but it magnifies. This is due lack of self-control and humility on both parts. Many here have stated marriage is hard work. Well, it's like Calculus and I am not a math wiz. I really want us to be happy, how can that be with these shambles?

We walked into marriage equipped with pre-marital counseling, family/friend support, and just knew we were a growing team guided by God. Reality set in abruptly and it was a battle ever since. I felt so discouraged and I am still trying to hang on. Consequently, our plan to purchase a home did not go so well. We are certainly learning each other. While I am analytical and he is impulsive. If we could sit down and have honest conversation about finances the sources out there would help. I am dealing with someone who has a wall built. I feel like I am turning into an escape artist and I know that is not God's way. I do not handle stress very well, but I have learned to give it to God, (1 Peter 5:7).

I have made the decision to continue going to church and bible study by myself. It hurts me that he is not there with me as my COVER. This is the same man that tells me, "let me lead this, you should have my back."
What if I cannot support that? Am I wrong to be upset because this man does not kneel to pray with me? I cannot change him, he has to seek God for himself. I do love my husband and I want the best however, when I am able to discern what is right... I don't feel like I have a partner here. Surely I cannot live life based on how I feel all the time and I can do much better with controlling my emotions.
I often think, "Was I ready for marriage? Was he just in the mindset of settling down" I can answer for me, I was ready. I just wss not ready to knock someone's wall down. We are One. That is not to be taken likely and I feel that my husband is unaware and so selfish. It hurts.