Book is inspired from the hit movie "Fireproof". Im new here so forgive me if this is the wrong section. Me and my significant other have split up and are planning on moving back in with our parents. 8/21/2001-1/21/2009. 7 1/2 years. We have financial issues, some communicative problems, and a few other small issues. We do not hit each other, cheat, or abuse drugs. Just personal issues. She broke up with me, i think in part because in 7 1/2 years i wasnt mature enough to propose to her. i wanted to give her the material things, rings, weddings, house, etc... all she wanted was an el cheapo ring, and a courthouse with a preacher. my pride stopped that.
In this thread ill walk you (and myself) through this "Love Dare" book. im only on day 4 now. so i wont have too much to catch up on. ill come here often and update, if you know the book or not, keep us in your prayers and feel free to offer ideas and/ or support. its tough though!she does NOT know im going through the Love Dare.
day 1- say nothing negative to your partner
done, not as easy as i thought. she wants to go to puerto rico to a time share with another family with 2 kids for Valentines Day. We live in Florida. I will watch our son. I supported her though i did let her know i was terrified for her
she also asked, if my mother offered to watch our son tonight, if she could go out and play Bingo with some friends. I said i was ok with it. the old me was jealous of her having fun with other people. I thought about it, and called her back. i offered to watch our son after i got home from work 8pm, if she wanted to go out and my mom didnt offer to watch him. she didnt go out.
day 2 - in addition to day 1, do an unexpected act of kindness
i woke up before her or my son and went to McDonalds. She LOVES the iced hazel nut coffee they have so i got her one, got myself a coffee, and got an orange juice for my son. i also got her a bacon, egg, and cheese McMuffin for breakfast. when i got back home, she was just taking our son out of the crib. i took him and got him ready for daycare and fed him so she could enjoy her breakfast. just a thank you was what I got. Its ok, its only day 2. ::sigh:: i am an HUGE gamer, i play Halo 3, Call of Duty, etc... just so you know how big of a gamer i am, i have a $500 Halo 3 tattoo on my ribs. yea... theres this kid in our apartment complex who id never met but i remembered a few days ago, someone kicked down his door and stole his XBOX 360 along with all the games. I took my XBOX 360 along with games, controllers, guitars, etc... to his home and gave them to his mother, who was in tears. she had her sons xbox on lay-a-way for 3 months for Christmas. i also went to Wal-Mart and bought a cheap DVD player to replace the XBOX so she could still watch movies and my son could watch his cartoon DVD's. we dont have cable. i spent too much time on the xbox when i could have spent it on her or my son. she got a tear in her eye when she found out and gave me a kiss on the cheek. making progress? no, she wants to get a new bed spread for her bed at her moms house. to be continued. its ok. im doing what i can.
day 3 - buy something nice for your other
she forgot her wallet at home and asked if i could bring it to her job. she needed gas. no rush, just before she left for work. i stopped by the Heavenly Flowers store on my way to pay day care. i bought her 3 red roses made up in a nice vase. symbolic for I. Love. You. and/or Day 3. i took them to her along with the wallet. i usually just pull up and she meets me down by my car. i found a parking spot and got my umbrella (Florida is NOT the sunshine state:D) i walked the roses and the wallet up to her building. she was waiting inside the glass doors. she watched me with no expression walk up to her building for about 10 seconds. she opened the door and asked what these were for. i simply said, " just because". i told her to take the umbrella in case it was raining when she left work later and handed her wallet. it was akward silence for about 5 seconds as she held and looked at the roses. i said "well have a good day and let me know if you need anything". walked away. she called me later and asked if i was getting wierd on her. like 'stalkerish'. WHAT! i was nice but said not at all, just some simple roses, do with them what you wish i just thought they would be nice. she said in the past 8 years ive only gotten her flowers 3 times. i said that was in the PAST 8 years and im a different person. tried to assured her everything was OK. what the heck am i doing?
day 4 - call her during work hours for no other reason than to see how her day is going and ask if she needs anything.
called her. left a message. she called back. day was going fine and she didnt need anything... i am still on day 4 for now. so i guess "check" done for now?
day 5 - tomorrow Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior.
to be continued...
In this thread ill walk you (and myself) through this "Love Dare" book. im only on day 4 now. so i wont have too much to catch up on. ill come here often and update, if you know the book or not, keep us in your prayers and feel free to offer ideas and/ or support. its tough though!she does NOT know im going through the Love Dare.
day 1- say nothing negative to your partner
done, not as easy as i thought. she wants to go to puerto rico to a time share with another family with 2 kids for Valentines Day. We live in Florida. I will watch our son. I supported her though i did let her know i was terrified for her
she also asked, if my mother offered to watch our son tonight, if she could go out and play Bingo with some friends. I said i was ok with it. the old me was jealous of her having fun with other people. I thought about it, and called her back. i offered to watch our son after i got home from work 8pm, if she wanted to go out and my mom didnt offer to watch him. she didnt go out.day 2 - in addition to day 1, do an unexpected act of kindness
i woke up before her or my son and went to McDonalds. She LOVES the iced hazel nut coffee they have so i got her one, got myself a coffee, and got an orange juice for my son. i also got her a bacon, egg, and cheese McMuffin for breakfast. when i got back home, she was just taking our son out of the crib. i took him and got him ready for daycare and fed him so she could enjoy her breakfast. just a thank you was what I got. Its ok, its only day 2. ::sigh:: i am an HUGE gamer, i play Halo 3, Call of Duty, etc... just so you know how big of a gamer i am, i have a $500 Halo 3 tattoo on my ribs. yea... theres this kid in our apartment complex who id never met but i remembered a few days ago, someone kicked down his door and stole his XBOX 360 along with all the games. I took my XBOX 360 along with games, controllers, guitars, etc... to his home and gave them to his mother, who was in tears. she had her sons xbox on lay-a-way for 3 months for Christmas. i also went to Wal-Mart and bought a cheap DVD player to replace the XBOX so she could still watch movies and my son could watch his cartoon DVD's. we dont have cable. i spent too much time on the xbox when i could have spent it on her or my son. she got a tear in her eye when she found out and gave me a kiss on the cheek. making progress? no, she wants to get a new bed spread for her bed at her moms house. to be continued. its ok. im doing what i can.
day 3 - buy something nice for your other
she forgot her wallet at home and asked if i could bring it to her job. she needed gas. no rush, just before she left for work. i stopped by the Heavenly Flowers store on my way to pay day care. i bought her 3 red roses made up in a nice vase. symbolic for I. Love. You. and/or Day 3. i took them to her along with the wallet. i usually just pull up and she meets me down by my car. i found a parking spot and got my umbrella (Florida is NOT the sunshine state:D) i walked the roses and the wallet up to her building. she was waiting inside the glass doors. she watched me with no expression walk up to her building for about 10 seconds. she opened the door and asked what these were for. i simply said, " just because". i told her to take the umbrella in case it was raining when she left work later and handed her wallet. it was akward silence for about 5 seconds as she held and looked at the roses. i said "well have a good day and let me know if you need anything". walked away. she called me later and asked if i was getting wierd on her. like 'stalkerish'. WHAT! i was nice but said not at all, just some simple roses, do with them what you wish i just thought they would be nice. she said in the past 8 years ive only gotten her flowers 3 times. i said that was in the PAST 8 years and im a different person. tried to assured her everything was OK. what the heck am i doing?
day 4 - call her during work hours for no other reason than to see how her day is going and ask if she needs anything.
called her. left a message. she called back. day was going fine and she didnt need anything... i am still on day 4 for now. so i guess "check" done for now?
day 5 - tomorrow Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior.
to be continued...