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How's this for apocalyptic literature. This was written in biblical prose as a commentary of current events.
- And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of
the land called America, having lost their morals, their initiative,
and their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme
Leader that person known as "The One".
He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but
He hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you.
My lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego,
and my association with evil doers are of no consequence. For I
shall save you with Hope and Change.
Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who
preceded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he
has built must be destroyed." And the people rejoiced, for even
though they knew not what "The One" would do, he had promised
that it was good; and they believed.
And "The One" said "We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me
change everything about it!"
And the people said, "Hallelujah! Change is good!"
Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats." And the
people said "Sock it to them!"
"And redistribute their wealth."
And the people said, "Show us the money!"
And then He said, "Redistribution of wealth is good for
everybody"
And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you kidding me? You're going to steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??" And "The One" ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's
personal records were hacked and publicized.
One lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist policy?"
And she was banished from the kingdom!
Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and
having zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with
radical terrorists?" And "The One" said, "Simple. I shall sit with
them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and
they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!" And the
people said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our
weapons into free cars for the people!"
Then "The One" said, "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes." And
one, lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY taxes." So "The
One" said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats
pay!" And the people said, "Hallelujah!! Show us the money!"
Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you
sell your homes!" And the people yawned and the slumping housing
market collapsed. And He said, "I shall mandate employer- funded health care for
EVERY worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every
person unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to the
clinics." And the people said, "Give me some of that!"
Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs
overseas." And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"
Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and
electricity rates will skyrocket!" And the people said, "Coal is
dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part
about higher electric rates." So "The One" said, "Not to worry. If
your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you
out. Just sign up with ACORN and your troubles are over!"
Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted.
Let's grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free
lunches, free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed
housing..." And the people said, "Hallelujah!!" And they made
him King!
And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs
and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers.
Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank
like unto a rock dropped from a cliff.
The banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a
crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support.
Then "The One" said, "I am the "The One" - The Messiah - and I'm
here to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will
have enough!" But our foreign trading partners said unto Him, "Wait
a minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will
have to pay more..." And the people said, "Wait a minute. That is
unfair!!" And the world said, "Neither are these other idiotic
programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state
and a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!"
And the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?" But
yea verily, it was too late. The people set upon "The One" and spat
upon him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty
nation was no more; and the once proud people were without
sustenance or shelter or hope. And the Change "The
One" had given them was as like unto a poison that had destroyed
them and like a whirlwind that consumed all that they had built.
And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish,
"Give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!" But it was
too late, and their homeland was no more.