Advice/Help Welcomed....

[katie07]

Hey,

So I know this is very dependent, and low of me. But I dont know what else to do. I apologize If this does not belong under this section of the forum, as I am new at this.

For some background, Im 17 yrs.old, a junior in highschool, and my mother is an alcoholic who used to be able to hold herself together. In Dec. she lost all reality i.e., lost her job, after DUI was in jail for a week untill my dad could bail her out, legal prob's. ect. A week before christms she went into a 30 day inpatient rehab center. After she got out was still drinking, ect; 2 weeks ago she went into a 60 day inpatient center in San Diego.

For some reason, now that every thing has come to the surface and is acknowledged it is effecting me alot differently then it has for the past 5 years when no one talked of it. About 3 weeks ago, I started, well started self-harming, I wont go into details but it helps me deal with everything.

The real reason I am writing this is because I can't, well can't stop doing it. Honestly I'm scaring myself, I'm afraid someone will find out. Which is ironic considering I'm telling you all this, and the reason I'm telling you all is in hopes that you will have ideas on how I can get help. I want to stop, but I can't.

I figured I would post on a christian forum because, well the majority of you are christians and you have a good reputation. I figured someone would have sensible advice, or at least understand.

I wouldn't have be writing this if I had some one I could ask or talk to, but unfortunatly my father is out of the country on business alot, my friends are awasome, however you just dont tell everyone the family secrets.

Anyways, I thank you for even reading this far. If you have advice for me please respond, PM, or talk to me on AIM (mini mee 757). I apologize to bother you all with my troubles, I relieze how awkward this is for you to read.

 

[Sothenes]

Self-Harming is addictive because when you cut, your body releases endorphins giving you a high as if you were doing drugs. For some people, self harming is a cry for help or self expression but the answer is for you to find a more constructive way to deal with your problems.

http://www.cuttingawareness.com/

I can't PM you or respond to private messages because I'm an adult and some adults like me are scared that anything we say could always be taken out of context and you are a minor.

Your parents need to work through their problems because it may be difficult for them to help you right now but there are constructive ways for you to get through your problems.

I will be looking for your public messages tomorrow but I will not respond to Private Messages.

 

[Lewis]

Well you need to ask Jesus to help you with this. And there is a christian forum that has discussions for stuff like this. Join them because there are people over there just like you, and who are going through bad times like you. Look in the Recovery forum, and there are more forums over there to help you. May God bless you my sister.

http://www.christianforums.com/

 

[Duder]

.

Greetings, Katie -

I can relate.

I lived with my drunkard mother until I was 15 years old - you've beaten me by two years, so you must be made of tough stuff.

The first thing I wish you would take to heart (you already know it, but perhaps you don't truly appreciate it) is that in less than one year you gain the power to make all your own choices. Perhaps you'll go off to college. Perhaps you'll get a job and share an apartment with a friend. Maybe you'll stay at home and be the one squared-away adult living in that household.

That's just one year, Katie. And I can tell you from the perspective of having lived 48 years that one year is nothing. I want you to be thinking now about what kind of person you are going to be when that bell rings on your birthday and you get the power. What are you going to do with it? That's your focus. Work it out with Jesus now in these last months, in whatever way fits your unique and personal relationship with him.

Oh, yeah - and that self-harm thing? Isn't that just a little bit silly? :-? I mean, I know how it's an effective way of coping with trouble, but I want you to knock it off. Jesus bled plenty on your behalf already, and whatever solace you get from those little cuts of yours is a cheap imitation of the power that His blood makes available to you. Meditate on that, and the sheer conceit and arrogance of what you are doing the next time you feel like picking up an instrument to cut yourself. Enough said about that.

Be cool - don't stress - you're going to be alright.

Blessings,

Duder



.

 

[Sothenes]

. Oh, yeah - and that self-harm thing? Isn't that just a little bit silly? :-? I mean, I know how it's an effective way of coping with trouble, but I want you to knock it off. Jesus bled plenty on your behalf already, and whatever solace you get from those little cuts of yours is a cheap imitation of the power that His blood makes available to you. Meditate on that, and the sheer conceit and arrogance of what you are doing the next time you feel like picking up an instrument to cut yourself. Enough said about that.

Be cool - don't stress - you're going to be alright.

Blessings,

Duder
.

Self Harming is one of the top ten topics you will find on message boards for youth so it is very common and there are a lot of people hurting. If you could imagine having several threads of messages here with some of them having 70 pages devoted to cutting and it is serious problem that youth find themselves addressing. It is very common and a lot of adults don't talk about it enough for it to be understood. It is not uncommon to read on other message boards how many days each person went without cutting.

I never cut so I do not know what it is like but if someone has an addiction then they may need help in stopping. Katie asked for help so when our sister needs help, we have to take them at their word and believe what they say because there is no way we can experience all the hurts that other people experience. Katie asked for help and if she says she can't stop then I believe her because its an addiction and if I can't believe anyone then there is no point talking to anyone on any forum. I know the subject matter is real because I can give you links to many stories from many youth who are suffering from the same problems.

Katie, you are not alone.

 

[MrVersatile48]

Hi Katie!

Google Teen Challenge - they are the best drugs/alcohol rehab program on Earth, with much experience - @ 40 years of helping teen problems in general

It was they who did the classic Christian movies, "The Cross & The Switchblade" & "Run Baby, Run!"

The 1st was based on founder Dave Wilkerson's book; the 2nd on ex-armed gang leader Nicky Cruz's

Both feature knife culture, so I know they can help you

Their book, "Tough Love" is, I think, by ex-armed gang leader Sonny Arguinzoni

TC band, "The Evidence" were all addicts for 12-17 years & have now been clean at least 5 years each, touring the world to reach troubles youth

I'm sure their new musical, called something like "Living Waters" is their own stories combined & shows powerfully how inviting the Spirit of God to live in your heart, asking Jesus to be Saviour & Lord of your life, brings what He called "the peace that passes understanding" & fullness of joy, turning even the worst things in life to the good of all who love God

"He will turn your mourning into dancing"

"He gives the oil of joy in place of mourning"

These are precious promises in the Bible, that I saw God fulfil in the lives of many elderly widows, when I worked as a Bereavement Counsellor

I know you are not bereaved, Katie, but what you have been thru, & are going thru, make you grieve & hurt just as much as bereavement does

Circumstances once drove me over the edge to attempt suicide - I had suicidal depression for @ 4 years & begged doctors to change tablets 8/9 times

It was thru Bible prayer & laying on of hands that the Great Physician healed the hurt in my soul

I've not needed medication for several years now, so I know God's victory

The biggest testimony website is http://www.HeInvites.com

Click on its alphabetical full list of the trials, troubles, traumas & tragedies that folk testify to experiencing God's triumph overcoming

Depression & suicide are among the list

You will probably see @ 70 stories in each

Just scroll down 1st lines & read those that will boost your faith in "the victory that overcomes the world: our faith"

Teen Challenge UK are sponsored by the Pentecostal Churches of UK & Ireland, so I'm sure your local Pentecostal church can put you in touch with TC counsellors

San Diego, as the biggest military base on Earth, sure will have expertise in helping folk to stop cutting & receive the total healing & deliverance that the blood of Jesus won for us

Feel free to PM if you need: saving young lives takes precedence over laws that sometimes stop lives being saved, yes? 8-)

Kinda like Jesus said @, & to, interfering Pharisees :wink:

God bless!

 

[Sothenes]

I know there are Calvary Chapels in California and a lot of them have free counselling or trained counsellors. You want someone who is trained and if you get someone that you don't like, ask if there is another pastor or another counsellor to talk to. And remember that there are several Calvary Chapels in California.

http://maps.calvarychapel.com/usa/ is where you can find a local church and if you don't feel comfortable putting your address in there, there is a link for a map of the United States.

http://www.newlife.com/ is probably where I would go because they are licensed counsellors and some of them would take into consideration that you don't have a lot of money when you are young. 1-800-NEW-LIFE.

Teen Challenge might be an option.

 

[cly]

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please help Katie through this trying time. Help her to quit hurting herself. Help her to find a counselor who can support her though this difficult time in her life.

Father, I also pray for Katie's mother. Help her to get over her alcoholism. Please just help this entire family as they deal with these problems.

Lord, please wrap Your loving arms around Katie, let her know just how much You love her. Help her to understand that You don't want to see her hurting herself. You want to see her safe and happy. Please, help this young lady out throughout this.

In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

*****

Katie, I don't know exactly how to respond. I've never dealt with this situation before in any manner. It seems, however, that many of the previous posters have given you a lot of resources for help. I hope that you will check some of them out.

Aside from that, I think you should also talk to you father about this. I know it won't be easy, but it's something you should do. Being your father, surely he will do everything he can to help you in some way.

And lastly, I hope that you will try to come to come to know Jesus. I don't know if you're saved or not, or even if you've ever been to church, but I promise you that nothing - NOTHING - is to big for God. He can and will help you, if you'll only just ask. That doesn't mean that the problem will simply cease to be, but He will give you the strength you need to get through it. He will be there for you; He will open the doors for you. Just be willing to walk through them.

I also know of another forum site that has a sensitive topics forum for things such as this. No one except the people involved can see the forum, so no one else can read what is posted. The administrator will allow a few people to come together to discuss things and then hide the posts once things are on their way to being better. The address is http://catalyst.forumsplace.com/. It's a free Christian teen and young adult forum. You don't have to join immediately, just check it out if you'd like, then decide.

I know that's not much, but I do care, and this is the best I know to do right now. My PM box is always open if you ever need someone just to listen.