Advice would be nice.

[creecros]

First allow me to introduce myself, anonomously...

I was born and raised Catholic, adopted at 4 weeks old through the catholic church, attended catholic school, was an alter boy, baptized, first comunion, etc...At some point I wondered and now at age 29, I would not define myself as a catholic, much less...a christian.

That being said, I am as a matter of fact, a good natured person. I do pray. I do love. I do appreciate life. I am generous. etc... But I am also, not perfect.

So here is my question, if that is what could be called. More like a plea for help or advice. Somewhere in my life around the age of 22, I met a girl, whom I fell in love with. This love is not open for debate, as I have continued to love her for many years. Whether that love exists in my heart or just some complex chemical reaction within my brain, you may debate, but Love is what it is. Regardless...

Time went on and we continued to date, "loving" eachother. It is redundant to inform you of the amount of times she dumped me, only to come back...what is important, is that we had a child together...when we were not officially together none the less. In fact, if my memory serves me correctly, late one night, she came over, and preceed to ask me to "make love" to her. I obliged. And although she was drunk and I was not, I remember her saying, "give me a child." Had I thought about it, I might not have obliged, but I did, I wouldn't change it for the world. I figured things would work out, that they would be fine, I wanted to marry her and she showed little interest. I worked hard to graduate college and was offered a job, which she encouraged me to take saying that it would help prove that I could take care of them and show her I had responsibility.

After taking the job and moving (1000 miles), she made it clear, we would not marry. It was heartbreaking but I moved on, which made her freak out I guess, so she then proceeded to ask me to marry her. I was so happy, I bought her a ring, propsed etc...She accepted, and then broke my heart a few months later by giving me the ring back. She claims that she cannot marry an unbeliever, which I guess by all rights I am, at least in your sense and her sense, not that I am un convertible. Long story short, I assure you, I have been and still 5 years later, unable to move on. I love her and do not wish to spend my life with out her anymore, nor can I tell you how much it bears on me not to be there for my son on a daily basis.

I am afraid I might fail...

 

[Caroline H]

Welcome to the site creecos. I hope you don't mind my moving your post here to "New Members"

 

[Kyle]

Welcome Creecos! I hope you enjoy yourself here at CF.

In response to your post, it seems that the woman you are in love with does not hold the same feelings towards you. While you have continued to initiate and work towards a meaningful relationship with her, she has constantly broken the relationship and your heart. You mentioned that you were finally able to move on after she made it clear that she would not marry you. I commend you for that and urge you to continue your life and try to separate yourself from her.

We must always remember that love is a two way street. You may feel an utmost love and compassion towards somebody. However, if they do not feel the same way towards you than a relationship just won't work out.

You also mentioned in your post that the woman you're in love with told you that she cannot marry a non-believer. This has led me to assume that you have joined this forum to attempt to rekindle your faith and consequently persuade the woman to marry you. Don't lose sight of what being a Christian is about. You should be rebuilding your relationship with God because you want to, not because somebody else wants you to. You have to decide on your own to open your heart to Jesus, you are not doing this for somebody else, you are doing this for yourself.

In all, I wish you the best of luck and hope that you become closer to God.

 

[heather]

Welcome.

I, too, am caught up on the un-believer part. Obviously, she believed (and maybe still does) but has no qualms with living in sin (pre-marital sex). Now, I'm not saying that I don't live in sin, I certainly do since not a single one of us is perfect. However, instead of playing these head/heart games with you, she should be putting that energy towards showing you Christ in her life.

The thing about being a Christian is not that I talk the talk, but that I have a personal relationship to Christ. That I have the Holy Spirit living in me. That I live with an attitude of repentance (which is changing the ways that I think and act) and loving God, loving one another (which is my fellow believers) and loving my neighbors (which is everyone else). I pray to God, I see what the works in my life that He does are, and I try to give Him the glory (even when somethings are not going my way, because they are what is best for me). Being a Christian is not all about sitting in pews on Sunday or Wednesday and singing along and saying "Amen," when the pastor makes a good point. Being a Christian is about the relationship you have with the Father. However, the only way to know the Father is to accept His Son as the everlasting gift of forgiveness, the pure white sacrifice. You must first accept this gift, then believe that God can forgive you and that He sent His Son for you and then you must confess your sins and begin to repent and live a lifestyle of repentance. We know that He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins. (1 John 1:9 says: 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.)