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Am I Just Jealous?

B

BEI491962

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Basically, my ex (Whom I love, cherish and absolutely adore) is engaged to be married to a guy that I do NOT like-- Period. The thought of her marrying him absolutely kills me inside :-?. The thing is that she says he's a Christian and I really want to believe her, but I don't. I've prayed that God will allow me to like her fiance, I've prayed for peace and I've even tried to force myself to like him, but I find that my feelings towards him remain the same.

When I confronted my ex with my personal feelings about her fiance she got really upset with me and has subsequently cut me out of her life. She said I was backbiting her fiance in hopes of breaking them up, but I wasn't. She told me to take my problems to him but, when I tried, he was overly nasty towards me and proceeded to put me down every other sentence. Therefore, I told her that I wasn't going to talk to him directly anymore until he felt the need to converse civily. Her reply to this was that I was being 'gutless' and 'a whiny baby' (Which couldn't be farther from the truth. I didn't respond to him because, if I did, I would have said some things that I would have regretted the day after). I was trying to handle the situation Biblically but it's kinda' blew up in my face...

So yeah... I don't know what to do anymore. I hate to be so condemning of a fellow Christian, but I just don't like him. Yes, I know it's not my relationship and yes, I know that I shouldn't care (Everyone else tells me I shouldn't), but I really do care about the well-being of my ex and, above all, I want to see her safe and happy. I just don't feel that her current fiance is the 'right' person. She won't admit it, but I believe that she's marrying him primarily out of financial security (That's a long story within itself) and, because he can provide her with such, she is looking over his 'fatal flaws'.

Anyway, God has told me that everything will work out, but I don't know what to do anymore. Am I right or wrong in the way I feel?
 
BEI491962 said:
Basically, my ex (Whom I love, cherish and absolutely adore) is engaged to be married to a guy that I do NOT like-- Period. The thought of her marrying him absolutely kills me inside :-?. The thing is that she says he's a Christian and I really want to believe her, but I don't. I've prayed that God will allow me to like her fiance, I've prayed for peace and I've even tried to force myself to like him, but I find that my feelings towards him remain the same.

When I confronted my ex with my personal feelings about her fiance she got really upset with me and has subsequently cut me out of her life. She said I was backbiting her fiance in hopes of breaking them up, but I wasn't. She told me to take my problems to him but, when I tried, he was overly nasty towards me and proceeded to put me down every other sentence. Therefore, I told her that I wasn't going to talk to him directly anymore until he felt the need to converse civily. Her reply to this was that I was being 'gutless' and 'a whiny baby' (Which couldn't be farther from the truth. I didn't respond to him because, if I did, I would have said some things that I would have regretted the day after). I was trying to handle the situation Biblically but it's kinda' blew up in my face...

So yeah... I don't know what to do anymore. I hate to be so condemning of a fellow Christian, but I just don't like him. Yes, I know it's not my relationship and yes, I know that I shouldn't care (Everyone else tells me I shouldn't), but I really do care about the well-being of my ex and, above all, I want to see her safe and happy. I just don't feel that her current fiance is the 'right' person. She won't admit it, but I believe that she's marrying him primarily out of financial security (That's a long story within itself) and, because he can provide her with such, she is looking over his 'fatal flaws'.

Anyway, God has told me that everything will work out, but I don't know what to do anymore. Am I right or wrong in the way I feel?
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They are called ex for a reason. You are sticking your nose in where it does not belong. Leave here along and let her make her own choices. You are free and should not interfere.
 
By by marrying your ex-wife, this man is commiting adultery; and he is leading her into adultery as well. So even if he is a Christian, he is still knowingly entering a lifestyle of perpetual sin.
 
By by marrying your ex-wife, this man is commiting adultery; and he is leading her into adultery as well. So even if he is a Christian, he is still knowingly entering a lifestyle of perpetual sin.
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im sorry but this is the biggest load of crap i have ever heard. its not like they are MARRIED anymore, hhe said ex!! it sounds like you are saying it is a sin for anyone to marry a person who was married previously.
 
Agarash, it is actually biblically adultry not so much a load of crap when Jesus said it. A hard one to swallow considering I have friends who have married divorced people.

Mathew 5:31-32
NIV
31"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.
 
I may be reading the post wrong, but I didn't see anywhere that BEI491962 stated this ex, was an ex-wife... I'd need to know that before I would give my opinion...
 
I don't think he was meaning ex wife, just an ex girlfriend, but I could be wrong.
 
yeah, and the bible also says that woman arent allowed to preach the word of God.. but yet how many woman do we see today doing this??


but.. if what you say is true, then my question is why are so many christians the re-marrying?? if they know its a sin, why then??
 
Because... thats all I have to say. I don't know why they remarry. I just know that the bible says it is a sin to divorce and remarry without just cause. Don't take it up with me, ask God.

Also, your arguement is quite odd. So just because people do these things and call themselves Christians, then that justifies us to do anything we want??? Not quite. BTW, people take the women should not preach to an extreme on both sides of the arguement that isn't biblical sometimes.

I don't like your arguement at all, but I do agree that people marry and sometimes have wonderful marriages. I have also seen God do wonderful things in other people's lives after they have sinned too. Technically if anyone has sex, then your married to that person biblically, but I had sex before I became a Christian, does that mean I'm married and can't marry again. Not really, but I did sin.

As for why do people remarry. This world is screwed up, thats why...the people in the Church are screwed up too. People in the Church willfully sin all the time. But God always corrects them and sanctifies them.

Sorry for throwing the entire thread off topic. :-?
 
yes, i have also seen God do wonderfull things in the lives of people who have remarried.so i guess its one of my questions to God. :)
 
No Offense, guys, but I don't think that's really sticking with the topic. However, It is a topic worth discussing. 8-)
 
Is this just an ex-girlfriend? If so, it's none of your business what she does with her life. You need to move on. By continuing to dwell on her life and who she chooses to marry, you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of heartache and psychological problems or you'll end up being a stalker.

I know you're just trying to care for her and watch out for her own good, but you can't tell her what to do or what not to do as hard as it is.
 
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